What is Rheumatoid Arthritis
Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is traditionally considered a chronic, inflammatory autoimmune disorder that causes the immune system to attack the joints. It is a disabling and painful ...
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I GAVE UP
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Hi everyone,
I hope that you all are doing well , I now I should post a positive thing here , and I know that there are some of you that suffer more than me , but I really felt that I have to write here , not to post it as a journal . I getting so much better, I really feel the minimum amount of pain since I got RA, I never felt better, and this is physically. Emotionally I hope that I have a permanent flare up, I hope that all the pain would come back so I can cry myself to sleep, I hope that RA will NEVER go away. Today I felt how hard is to let go of a dream , my losses today only made me gave up on everything , my losses where : - Losing someone who really meant the world for me but I meant nothing to this person - Losing a friend - Losing my life-time chance. - I received an e-mail about a scholarship that I was dreaming about but I can’t get it because I lost my good GPA and I’m not accepted in my major YET ( after 2 years of studying). - Losing my chance of changing back to my dream major. Basically I lost my life today, but still I have to put on the happy face and pretend like nothing happened and be satisfied with all the blesses I have , I would feel ok if I lost all of those things each one a time , but having all those losses in ONE DAY ?! , it’s too much. I know that I’ll be rude for saying what I’m going to say , but PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ , don’t say that things will get better , and better days will come , I know it WON’T . NOTHING WILL. I sorry again for posting this here, any admin here can remove it if it has to be removed. Memole Posted on 06/25/09, 03:06 pm |
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I'm sorry to see you in such pain, and sorry to think that you've given up hope. I won't, can't, tell you things will get better, but I certainly hope they will, and I believe they can. I hope you will seek help, to find a way to rekindle your hope and confront your demons.
Please don't give up. Doug 
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Memole, I am so sorry that you have had so many loses. Amen on the "things will get better" line. I hate that! I wish you better days, I wish you sunshine, I wish you tears to clear your soul, I wish you a friend to hold you, I wish you a big hug. Please don't be sorry for posting. I'm new here but it seems to me that this is what this place is for. There have been many times I wish I had a place to come. Just let your heart out and I for one will listen (well, read) and support in any way I can. Please consider yourself hugged!
Cat
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I am so sorry to hear about all the things that are going wrong for you. It's ok to express your pain. Try to hang in there. Erica
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memole, ok, i won't tell you things will get better. but i can wish and pray for you to have better times, someone to hold you while you cry, and i can send hugs just to let you know there are people out here who care.
hugs and prayers, brat
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I have had alot of bad flares as well. I feel the same way about the 'things will get better'. Untill they have to feel the pain it shouldn't be said. I pray that the pain will get better for you and that God will give you the strength to get though another day. God bless!
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Just know that we are here for you and care for you no matter how hard things are. I am sorry things are so hard for you today.
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Hey there. Sounds like you are having a very trying day. I am not going to say that I know how you feel because I am not you. I am going to wish you peace in your heart and hope the days ahead get easier. Hang in there.
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This to shall pass...always remember when one door closes in your life God will surely open a window...Chin up!
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Hey...I'm currently dealing with loss myself...Loss of dreams, plans, security. Loss of finances, loss of where I fit in the world. Facing 'starting over' at the ripe old age of 47, starting over with RA by my side.
When my world crumbled, I went down with it. I visited "despair" and went there alone. No happy face here, no pretending either: I fell apart. No sugar-coating this one: it SUCKED. Still sucks, as a matter of fact. I reached out to this group through my journal and I'm glad I did. I got encouragement that eventually seeped into my soul and provided me with a reality check. Sure, nothing changed (I lost what I lost when I lost it), but these Great and Wonderful DSers helped me remember that there is more to me than my circumstances. Situations may not change ("don't tell me things will get better") but YOU can. In fact, you undoubtedly will. I hope you'll let us help you take off the happy face or any other mask you feel you have to put on, and find a safe place to be whatever you are feeling. ((hugs, hun))
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Well we have ALL felt the way you do from time to time. Totally and utterly overwhelmed over a situation that does not seem to get better or will not go away and lots of disappointments with our dreams on hold.
I have lived 61 long years, will be 62 in August and have had many health issues since I was 41, with CFS, then Lyme Disease and now RA and lots of disappointments along my journey. There were many times I just wanted to give up and felt cheated out of life because I felt God was picking on me while He was allowing others to feel healthy and go about their lives and mine was being curtailed. I had no other recourse but to wait and pray, while enduring it all. But, in each of my experiences and pain, things always turned around and eventually there was light - maybe just a glimmer of hope -and I would eventually laugh once again. I know you don't want to hear it, but I know your situation will turn around in time. Once a friend of mine told me this saying when she told me one of her neighbors committed suicide over a situation, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary prolbem And most of our problems do turn out to be temporary even though it seems they are permanent. I am wishing for you some blessings today to turn your life around. Much love, Norrie
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