What is Rheumatoid Arthritis
Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is traditionally considered a chronic, inflammatory autoimmune disorder that causes the immune system to attack the joints. It is a disabling and painful ...
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RA has destroyed my life
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I am a 34-year-old, married mother of 3. I have been on a downward spiral for the past year. I have had persistant joint pain for years without being properly diagnosed. I am now to the point that I can't work, can barely walk and am in constant agonizing pain. My joints are so stiff at times that I can barely move. We are on the verge of bankruptcy and my husband is ready to divorce me. I have a great doctor and he has me on several medications. Most recently it has decided to attack my cervical spine, which my doctor is very concerned about. I would like to talk with someone who is going through the same problems. No one seems to understand what I am going through and I desperately need advise on how to overcome the anger and resentment that I feel regarding my situation. Not to mention that I am scared to death that I am going to end up filing bankruptcy and losing everything in my life (and then what). How do I fight back??? My husband blames me for our current situation and thinks that I am a lazy bum. I feel like I have no control over my life and my body anymore. I spend all of my time trying to manage my pain and just be able to do normal day-to-day functions. I am constantly fatigued and can barely stay awake during the day. My number one priority over everything else is just taking care of my kids. No matter how much pain I am in or how much stiffness I have I refuse to let this affect me being there for my children. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am losing everything in my life from this disease and there is no way that I can fight back. I can't even work right now and I don't know how I am going to pay my bills. I refuse to be a victim of this disease, but I am not even sure if I have a choice in the matter. If anyone has any advise for me or encouraging words I would greatly appreciate it. I am in desperate need to communicate with someone that can relate to what I am going through. I feel all alone!!!
Posted on 10/12/09, 04:10 am |
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Oh dear ... "how do I fight back?" I wish I had a good answer for that question. One thing I learned was to stop fighting so hard. I know this sounds wrong, but the body needs rest and care. I know you meant "fight" against the disease, but I think to fight it we have to slow down and try to blend with it and redirect it. Thank goodness you have a good doctor! That is key. I am nowhere near what you describe here, and I so feel for you. In your unique situation you may be "alone", but in this hell you are not. Remember that, k? 
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No one said your Husband is a jerk, so here it goes. Your husband is a jerk. show him this site and let him see what we go through on a daily basis.
Let's worry about you now, are you getting the right meds to help with your pain. talk with your Dr. and if you have a Church, maybe you can talk with a Pastor, Priest or Rabbi. They are good listeners. Also look in your Yellow pages for counselors of certain diseases. I have done that and it helps. Call a Crisis center, they also have counselors on staff. I found that we here at DS are pretty good counselors and listeners as well. Come back often and let us know how you are doing. As for your Husband, ( you thought I forgot about him ) let him know that you love him and you need his support right now more than anything. If you cannot talk with him ( they are very inmature at times) then forget it and concentrate on you and your Kids. Make a game with your Kids and let them help you as much as possible if they are old enough. Even if they can bring you a drink of Water. They love to help Mommy. Take lots of Catnaps with the kids. Most of all and before anything at all, Pray, Pray and Pray. God is the best listener of all. Good Luck, bigi
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I have to be honest, I have no advice at this time because Im going through a very similar situation myself. I've recently been diagnoised as well and Im a single mom of a 7 year old. Im not to the point where I cant work at all but my job wont accomodate the restrictions that my doctor is recommending. I've lost everything except my family who doesnt seem to understand what I'm going through. My boyfriend left me when I told him my diagnoises because he didnt want to have to deal with everything. I imagine I feel the same way you do, Im not gonna let this disease get the best of me but Im starting to wonder if I already have!
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