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I just learned that a very good friend of mine who was diagnosed with RCC a year after I was, is now suffering a recurrance. She went from doing well, to only having days to live. I had moved away in February, and lost touch. I find out today that Hospice is with her, and she now has only a few short days left. HOW can this happen SO FAST?
She didn't want people worrying about her, or talking about her. Other than her two daughters, she carried this burden alone. I feel horrible, just horrible for all of them.
Posted on 11/08/11, 10:26 pm
17 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Reply
Reminder: This is a support group for Renal Cell Carcinoma (Kidney Cancer). We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

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Reply #11 - 03/28/12  7:52am
" I am so sorry for your loss. I too feel the same way. Cancer is awful & ruthless. Its just terrible. "
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Reply #12 - 03/28/12  11:41am
" I am so sorry for your loss and I can tell you that your friend probably kept it to herself because she was tryin to spare others from the saddness. I cut ties with most of my pre cancer knowledge friends for that reason I just did not want to bring doom and gloom to their lives. "
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Reply #13 - 04/14/12  11:17pm
" I don't think I've ever hated anything more in my life!
I saw your post and immediately felt comfort knowing I'm not alone in this emotion.
My mother was diagnosed Feb 29, 2012 with RCC, softball sized tumor in left kidney and multiple lung nodules. Further imaging showed a mass in her right adrenal gland and now this week a large shadowy "mass" in her left femur. Since the initial diagnoses she had her left kidney and left adrenal gland removed. She recovered well from the surgery but now is in horrible pain from the bone mets and can barely stand or walk, even with a walker.
She has been perfectly, completely healthy and now is so disgustingly debilitated it makes me sick. WHY does this have to be so horrible!?!
She is in horrible spirits and we are trying to find hope, but it keeps getting slimmer and slimmer by the day. Please help me figure out how to deal with this and help her through it and survive. I am not ready to lose my mother in only 6 weeks time.
Any comments or suggestions will be immensly appreciated, we are so new to this.... and kind of angry about it!
I even HATE the word CANCER. If I never hear it again, I will still HATE it. I HATE YOU RCC - YOU CAN'T HAVE HER YET! "
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Reply #14 - 04/14/12  11:29pm
" Bless your precious heart, Sweetie. I am SO VERY sorry for what your dear mother, and all of you are going through. This is such a horrific ride. Please know that there are many of us here, who are battling, or have battled, or continue to do battle with this terrible monster.
I don't get on here a lot these days, but I'm really glad I did tonight, to see your post. Please try and hang in there, cherish every moment you are given with your mom, and know that there are MANY wonderful, and knowledgable people on this board, who give SO selflessly. They are always here to offer words of love and encouragement. Know that I am praying for you and you mom. I pray that we will see a cure for this disease, and ALL CANCER in our lifetime. Big HUGS to you! "
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Reply #15 - 04/15/12  2:20pm
" I hate it too! Living a normal life and suddenly BAM...RCC? No thanks! My heart goes out to you, to all of us who have to deal with this!! "
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Reply #16 - 04/16/12  8:05pm
" Dear lovemymomma,

I want to express my deep sadness for your mothers suffering with the horrible pain that goes with the renal bone mets, i truly understand your pain and sadness you see everyday from a disease that has no mercy at times.. My husbands was diagnosed with this cancer, in Aug 2008 and he himself has the renal bone mets in his bone also now, so i can understand very well how you all can feel the way you do..

I have lived with this disease for close to 5 years now and i can only give you the suggestions and ways my husband and i live with this cancer everyday.. We both are not to religious but do beleive there is a God and i do beleive God never gives anyone more that they can handle. I have learned to have faith and hope, when i feel i need to talk to God, i don't actually pray, i talk to him, in the most normal fashion i know how while i am on my computer.. I have learned by doing this i am stronger, more courageous, and keep my willingness to continue to fight this this disease every new day we have togeather.. The first year is always the hardest for us all, we are living a life we know nothing about, we were never shown, trained, nor thought much about cancer to ever be prepared for cancer to stike us or our closets loved ones.. It gets doagnosed and the doctors leave everything else up to us to figure out how to live with such a mouthful of a d/x and live life normal after that.. There isn't any normal after this d/x, so you need to create a new kind of normal way to live.. This is the only way you can live this kind of life and thats trying to find away to make your mom's life less stressful, you need to replace cancer with the most positive thoughts, ways, of living or you may as well let the cancer take your life over.. And please you need to do this for yourself too, your mom needs help, more constructive daily life living, she may need antidepressents to help with the depression she probably has now.. You should talk to her Oncologist about this or her Primary care doctor.. IT will take a little time for these meds to work but i will tell you they will help her ememsly.. She should also walk as much as possible, pain meds will help so she can move without alot of pain.. She needs friends % family to visit and get out and visit people, family, if moving is impossible have your doctor order her a wheelchair.. The whole idea to this hon is, she needs to know she can live with this cancer, the importance of this is she must never feel because she has Metastatic Kidney can't make her own decision in positive ways.. I am telling you this next thing out of the love of my heart, please don't take this as being a cruel thing or let it upset you in anyway.. I don't know how old your mom is but no matter what her age is you asked us for help with her and help her get through this.. Please don't let her stay in those horrible spirits, she needs to keep her faith and hope full, she needs to know she is needed as she has always been needed and loved her whole life.. You can't let her just give up, this could make her leave you sooner, and no one wants to ever see this happen.. There is so much help out there for her.. If you need you can call Hospice care and talk to the Paliative Care program, this would be very good for your mom and your whole family, she will get the right pain meds so she isn't in pain, this alone will help her feel better, pain can be so deliberating..

I hope this has helped you, reach out to others on our site, you can join this RCC site and you will make many friends, other care givers who can help you help mom and learn all you need to know about RCC.. Many of us have been where you are today, our first year with this cancer was the hardest year we both ever went through but, it can be done and learning to live today is all it is about..

Good luck hon, please know you can email me at anytime.

Many Hugs full of encouragement to you and your lovely mom..
Beccaanne "
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Reply #17 - 04/16/12  11:15pm
" Becca, again, you know just what to say, and how to say it....... "

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