Renal Cell Carcinoma (Kidney Cancer) Support Group

So glad that you have turned to Daily Strength! There are so many wonderful people here for you.
Maybe you could tell your children something like, "I have a little growth, but the doctors are going to remove it Friday." The success rate, when the primary tumor is removed, is very good.....so keep the faith and take it "one day at a time". I will be praying for you.

Love,
Ingrid

Hi,

I am a 55yr old grandfarther of two boys, ages 11 and 7. When I was diagnosed with cancer and told the kidney had to come out, the first worry I had was how to tell my family. The doctors were sure they could get all the cancer out with the kidney. My decision was to tell the kids the honest truth and keep them updated as I found more information from the doctors. The kidney and cancer came out Dec. 29, 2008 and the pathology report indicated that all the cancer was gone. I still have to go for regular ct scans and check-ups and I tell the kids that is to make sure I stay healthy and to try to avoid any more problems. I really feel that honesty worked best for me, especially with the kids. They still have questions (I also had to go for a prostate biopsy and surgery for 2 hernias.) But they accept my answers and don't seem to worry about it as much.

Dick Latour

Oops! I said 55 yrs old. I am almost 61. Guess I am just feeling so young I don't feel like 60.

Dick

I concur with Dick. My nieces and nephews knew that something was wrong with Uncle John and they were more worried not knowing. In my situation it was a bit different since they are not my children, however my sisters allowed me to speak to the kids, and in the long run I think it probably helped me more than it did helped them. The diagnosis & surgery happened so fast (within three weeks) that I was still in that state of anger/denial that in speaking to the children it help me to come to accept what was happening.

Dear jazy1555,

How brave of you to be so concerned about your children as you face such a major life event. My sons were older when my husband was diagnosed and needed his surgery, but it was still very difficult to tell them without creating too much worry and anxiety. We didn't cover up the fact that it was a major event. I knew one of my sons would be on the computer researching kidney cancer and might get upset with what he read, so we told our boys honestly about what we knew. I was surprised that they were quite resilient during this. The best thing we did was to ask each of them for their help. They rose to the challenge and really surprised me by how they took over certain responsibilities such as caring for our animals, bringing me food at the hospital, etc. My best advice is to let them know that you will need them and they will surely show you how much they love you.

The best of luck to you and your family.

LSMS