What is Rape
Rape is, in most jurisdictions, a crime defined as sexual intercourse or penetration without valid consent by both parties. In many jurisdictions, the penetration of the anus or th...
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I recently went to a bar, got really drunk, did some drugs and walked to a nearby apartment complex (where I live too) with three men. I blacked out and woke up the next morning at home with no purse, sweatshirt, and bra and definitely no memory. I was covered in bruises and abrasions on my back. There was blood and tissue under my fingernails. I decided I want to prosecute, but because I can't remember saying no the detective can't charge them.
I'm still in the stage of being terrified of everything. Scared to shower, leave the apartment alone, when I smoke on the patio I'm terrified of everyone that walks by. It was a week ago today. I'm so pissed at myself for doing the drugs and going home with them. I know intellectually I didn't deserve to be raped, but deep down I am that same scared little girl who was raped every day for four years by her stepfather while her mother did nothing. Not even deserving to be saved. I'm so overwhelmed. Posted on 11/06/09, 04:11 am |
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im sorry that happened to you, u should go to a rape crises center and get help even if u cant press any charges, or at least counseling. 
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Hun, even though you may have done some drugs and been drunk, it still doesnt give ANYONE the right to hurt you in this way.
I am so sorry for everything that you have gone through and especially since the detective can't.won't press charges. I would recommend continue to do what you are doing. We are here for you, you're not alone. Seek help in a local rape crisis center. I have recently started seeing a counselor for the rape/attempted murder that happened back in 2004. It's hard but its helping. I am wishing you the best.
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Why did the detective say you cant press charges? If a person says no or for whatever reason is incapable of consent, and the attacker still continues to have sex with that person, then it is rape. Maybe that was that officer's personal opinion...I really don't understand...But you should not deal with this alone. Find a good therepist & if you can, move out. I really, really, really hope the best for you.
-and I hope I didn't come off too strong in my comment. It's just, I find your situation very unfair to you, and it angers me. Sorry if you find ANYTHING offensive, and I really do hope you're able to find some kind of help so you can live a happy life.
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I'm so sorry this has happened, and that you have been refused the justice you deserve. I understand the pain of abuse, and how it programs your brain into thinking you are the guilty party, that it's your fault, that you should have/could haave done more or something diferent. Please listen to that intellectual voice in your head telling you that it wasn't your fault - because it's right - and the more you listen to it, the more you'll believe it. Please take care of yourself at this terrible time and know that you are not alone x
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I just wanted to add to 101swoop101's thing, being under the influence of drug/alcohol automatically makes you unable to give consent by what the law defines as consent, you need to talk to someone else if you want to press charges because that police officer doesn't know what he's talking about. Did you tell him that was involved? I was afraid to tell police at first that pot was involved because I didn't want them to dismiss me but it's an important part and they'll eventually need to know the WHOLE truth so your case doesn't get dismissed on "well if she was lying about [-----] what else was she lying about." So don't be afraid to tell them the truth right away, if you didn't already. They can't press charges on you for that if you're reporting a crime.
(hug) I hope the best.
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I want to add my voice to the voice of those saying that having sex with someone who is incapacitated with drugs is 100% rape and is considered a prosecutable crime in most states, and hopefully all.
To find the sexual assault laws for your state, you can contact the local rape crisis center. You can also look up the criminal code for any state at http://law.justia.com/ .Prosecution can be a long road and at the end you may feel that you are doing the state more favors than they are doing you (a crime is a crime against the state, not the victim - go figure). But whatever you choose to do, you should know that society considers what happened to you a crime. Best, beth
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