Rape Support Group

I am so sorry for everything you went through as a child. I was sexually abused age 7-10 by an adult cousin of mine. When I was 16, I got called back to a trial against him because they had found other victims.

Like with your abuser, he got away with it.

You are not hallucinating, hun. It seems like it is starting to come back because it has been pushed to the side for so long. Maybe you didnt want to deal with it back than. Maybe you couldnt. I know I couldnt.

It came flooding back when I was 16.

Just know that we are here for you. If you need to talk, we will listen.

Celeste

A long time ago, a bad thing happened to me. I don't like to talk about it at all. I don't know how or why, but I tucked it away and just didn't think about it at all for 20 years, I tell you. One day, a close friend revealed to me that she'd been raped 20 years ago. I think I was very comforting and thought to myself, "That poor child, to go through such a horror!" That evening, driving home from work, thought again, "You know, something like that happened to me once!" It was the first time I'd thought about the event in decades, I swear. Soon it all came crashing in on me. I believe you can be so distressed that reality/fantasy becomes blurry. I know that our brains can release enzymes that make us see things that aren't there. Don't freak out about seeing your abuser! I sometimes still see mine on the streets, or say, in the hall of the apartment building. I'll see him sitting in a car. Impossible! This happened so long ago, on the other Coast. I'll shake my head, but he's still sitting there. I turn away and don't look again. I don't know if any of this is comforting to you. I think the longer you repress the memories
and deny your pain, the worse the outcome when it finally comes out. I'm ten years into therapy. I still can't say anything other than the "bad thing that happened to me," and I start to cry. This is a safe forum. If you don't like one person's remarks, someone else may hit home for you. My abuser lived right around the corner from my sister. Whenever I went to visit her, I'd pass his house and not give it one thought! That's not good. Take care and be good to yourself. I'm so sorry you were abused by someone you looked up to and I'm so sorry that he got away with it, as so many do. You are not alone. If you want to message me or befriend me, I'd be honored. your friend in healing, Russell

Celeste;
It Has Scared Me So Much; I Don't Know Who To Turn To Or What To Say, Last Night I Saw Him Again; I Had My Seven Year Old Neice Asleep Next To Me But I Just Wanted To Scream And Shout Until He Left Me Alone, Put Up A Fight, But I Know He Isn't There Which Is The Problem, But Then He Is :/ I Just Dont Know How To Explain It Or What To Say :( Thank Youu x

Russell; I Tucked It Away To I Guess I Was To Young To Deal With It But Yeah, I Felt Guilty, I Try To Push Him Out Of My Mind But Theres A Constant Reminder, At First I Thought No Its Not Him Its 'Them' (I Have Bipolar And Hear Things Etc) But Then I Saw Him Stood There With The Smile :/ Everyday I'm Scared.. I Dont Know What Will Happen Next, I Hate To Walk The Streets Alone :/ I Dont Really Like Going Out With Anyone, I Dont Tend To Trust People Anymore, I Mean He Isn't The Only One Who Hurt Me, There Have Been A Number Of Other People, One Was 22 The Other 36. I Feel Like I've Done Something Wrong So I Get Picked Out Of Everyone Else.. I Dont Really Feel That I Throw Myself At Them As I Dont, I Stay Quiet And Most Of The Time Are Down :/ Everyday It Hurts That Little Bit More. Someone Said To Me Get Over It; I Wish I Could. His Grandparents Live 3 Doors Away; A Constant Reminder, His House Is Five Doors Away. Well Was, They Got Forced To Move. I Just Cant Handle The Pain Anymore :(
Anna x