What is Rape
Rape is, in most jurisdictions, a crime defined as sexual intercourse or penetration without valid consent by both parties. In many jurisdictions, the penetration of the anus or th...
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what happened today
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ok so after school today, i hung out with Dylan. aka, the first guy that raped me, my former best friend, and the first guy i was ever "with" in a sexual way. it was...terrifying....but he was the third person that i went off on throughout the day. and i didnt hold back. the last thing i said to him i remember clearly, because i had thought of saying it beforehand. i agreed to hang out with him for one reason: i have no desire to be friends with him. or even acquaintances. i want to move on. i want to get past the fact that it happened and that i cant go back in time and change it. so that i can live with it. so i went off on him. the last thing i said to him was "look, i dont need your petty excuses or your pathetic apologies. i just want you to know that what you did to me stuck and that if there really is a hell, then i suggest you either repent like the devil's at your door or prepare yourself for it". pretty harsh, but it needed to be said. kinda scares me now, thinking of his reaction to it; a mixture of shock and anger. saying all that i did really made me feel better about what happened. i dont know why it did, but it did.
but im scared. what if he takes it the wrong way? what if he IS angry and tries to hurt me over what i said? i cant stop thinking that this isnt over. that there's something else coming...this terrifies me a great deal. i doubt that people will read this. if they do then they'll most likely be disappointed. for that, i am sorry. but if you read this and arent disappointed i could really use some advice/words of wisdom on this pleaseeee. Posted on 11/04/09, 12:11 am |
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Why would we be disappointed?
Im proud of you for saying that to him. I have to admit that I dont know your story but could you tell your support system what happened? Like tell your parents your afraid and to take extra safety measures for the time being? or if your in counseling maybe yall can come up with ways in which you feel prepared in case something does happen.... 
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disappointed that it was different than what the title implied
i have a counselor, but its off the record. i talk to her about a few things, but not much. and thank you for being proud...i dont get much of people actually being proud of me for anything....ive told my grandma, who i live with, that i want her to get new locks and stuff for the house and how i want her to not let dylan be around me. idk if she will though. she kinda shrugged it off.
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I'm proud of you for saying that to him too. It is very important that you stuck up for yourself. Nothing makes us sicker faster than when we keep things bottled up inside and allow our abusers off the hook without so much as a verbal comeback. Good for you!
I'm sure he was shocked at first to hear what you had to say because he wasn't expecting it. I wouldn't worry too much about what he "might" do. Just take normal precautions in your daily routine like make sure you're always surrounded by friends. Don't walk to/from school alone. Make sure you're always with people. Don't hang out at friends' houses when their parents aren't home. And make sure your grandma understands that you don't want her letting in any friends when you're not home. And if you are home, she should make them wait at the door until you come down & let them in (or send them away). That's about all you can do. Try not to make yourself sick with worry.
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Hun, there is NO reason that we would disappointed.
*hugs* if okay. You know, we are SO PROUD of you! You have done what alot of us cant. I attempted to confront my rapist, but only ended up apologizing to him for "inconviencing his life" and for "taking it the wrong way". You have done well. I can understand why you are scared. As for preparations "just in case", I agree with the others here. Just make sure you're not alone when walking to/from school. Do you have a cell? Celeste
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yeah, i have a cell. and thanks for the kind words. everyone. :)
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I would NEVER have had the courage to confront my abuser. Do be careful. Think about your safety and that of your Granny's first. I would not antagonize "Dylan" further. As the other's have said, keep your friends close by. Don't leave yourself vulnerable to another assault. Safety in numbers, plus witnesses. I'm glad you have a cellie. Take care. You are so brave, like Joan of Arc!
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