What is Rape
Rape is, in most jurisdictions, a crime defined as sexual intercourse or penetration without valid consent by both parties. In many jurisdictions, the penetration of the anus or th...
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My PTSD symptoms in the last year have really improved, still have some but am still working hard to overcome them. At the moment though I'm still not managing to even be aware or notice some of them so that I can start addressing them.....I can't seem to stop questioning my husband and in a way control my behaviour. I'm really controlling about what he's spending his money on, what he's about to buy next. It seems to be manily about money. I've always been like it and although my husband is very forgiving I can see how distressing this is to him. I get really panicky and anxious when I think he's about to spend money on himself! It's so bad of me and I know I'm in the wrong. I'm not even sure if this is to with PTSD at all actually and more likely to be an insecurity thing from childhood (My parents were not generous and only ever bought what they had to, From early teens I bought all my own clothes, paid for everything really for myself to get on in life, including going to Uni) I'm terribly anxious about money and I find it difficult to buy things for myself out of pleasure rather than just need and when I do I have to check all the shops first and try to get a bargain. The amount of times I've taken things back beacuse I've felt guilty is becoming annoying and distressing in itself.
I think I've started to answer my own thoughts but does anyone else what to comment on what Ive said. A fresh pair of ears is always better than one. Posted on 10/26/09, 01:10 pm |
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Hmm... that doesn't really sound like a ptsd symptom, more like the kind of conflict that "normal" people have in a relationship. But if ptsd is making you feel insecure in general, that could make you feel insecure in other areas. In any case, all you can do is try to work on that specific issue while also continueing to work on improving your health with regard to the ptsd. 
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This really sounds to me like an issue left over from childhood, being raised the way you were by your parents. The ptsd probably aggravates it & makes it come out more, but the roots are definitely coming from your family history that predates your assault. And by the way, many of those family dynamics are most likely responsible not only for any neurotic quirks you may be experiencing, but are also the cause of what led you to being assaulted too. If your parents were over controlling in any way, including with money, that eats away at your self-worth and makes you more open to accepting that pattern of behavior from others, which means you would be less discriminating in your choice of friends/dates. Of course, I don't know you, and I could just be talking out of my a* here. But I've noticed this type of pattern not only in my own life, but in those of others who are struggling with the same issues I am.
I think it is healthy that you are noticing this and recognizing it as a problem. I'm also glad your husband is undrstanding and patient about it. That should help you resolve it more quickly.
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