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Discussion:
Daughter raped by my husband
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I don't know if I have a question or if I'm just reaching out for someone who has walked down this road before. It's been three months since my daughter told me...in one day our whole world fell apart. We left our home with nothing and moved three hundred miles away. I feel like I've been run over by an eighteen wheeler, but I want to be strong for her and for my son. I guess I just want someone to tell me that this gets easier, that I can go through this and survive without antidepressants and tranquilizers (which the docs are pushing at me). I have a strong faith, but I feel like I'm going under somedays. If anyone has been through this I would love to talk to you.
Posted on 10/22/09, 05:06 pm
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Reply #1 - 10/22/09  7:17pm
" I haven't gone through what you have, and I can't imagine how much it may hurt. But I have been a rape victim, and I am also a person of strong faith. If you ever need someone to talk to and pray with, I will be more than happy to do that. You and your daughter will be in my prayers. "
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Reply #2 - 10/22/09  7:19pm
" Thank you so much and the same goes for me...I believe in the healing power of prayer. It's always my first line of defense. Maybe we could pray for each other. I do thank you for your kind words "
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Reply #3 - 10/23/09  10:46am
" i have also not been through your particular situation but would really like to admonish you to keep praying and keep going. You're only going through the natural grieving process. So cry if you need to cry but know that your efforts are not in vain. I can only imagine and I'm sure you have no idea how much this meant to your daughter for you to step out on FAITH! You have strong faith so you know that through it things get better. Grieving is just apart of healing. Take heart in knowing that you DO have people praying for you. I'll be one of them. "
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Reply #4 - 10/23/09  1:35pm
" Wow, where to start... I am a rape victim. I have never told my Mother for fear that she would feel like you do. It wasn't my Father, but it happened when she moved me away to be with relatives, thinking she was getting me away from a bad news boyfriend. I lived in Wa. for 6 months and made friends with these two men, one of which was my friends boyfriend. The other tried for a long time to get me to date him. One evening One takes my friend home and comes back, which is when they both raped me. I really am okay. I am a strong person and this didn't devistate my life. My Mother isn't a strong person, so I learned to never go to her with things that would tear her down in any way. I was a Mother to her in many ways. Anyway, I tell you this because I know what your daughter needs from you. I have to tell you that I am really proud of you that you moved far away and got her right out of that. So many parents go into denial and don't believe their kids. You did and that feels so good to even hear. I know that is what she needs from you. You did the right thing, starting off. She will need counseling and don't be afraid to show her your anger about it, because that validates how wrong it was that he did that to her. So many kids keep it in. I was 15 when this happened to me, now I am 40 years old with a wonderful family of my own. I have a wonderful life. Only this month did I even admit to anyone that I was raped, including myself. Now I am going to use it to help others, which I hope this helps you. I too am a Christian, and even though bad things happen, he can turn them around for those of us who love him. That is what I am going to allow him to do for me. You can be a strong role model in that way for your daughter and maybe put her in touch with a website like this one. Tori Amos has an amazing web-site also, really amazing. I have gotten involved with that one as well. If I can take this tragedy and do something great to help others, than I am going to be empowered and I win! Bless you! Rosemary Ball rosemaryball@live.com if you want to talk more about this. "
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Reply #5 - 10/24/09  4:35am
" well done for supporting and even just beleiving your daughter, so many mothers don't. Mine completely denies my whole upbringing. Your amazing for what your doing, and supporting your daughter, feeling bad and sorry for her, instead of blaming it on her and sticking with your husband. A lot of people do that. Your a great mom but it must be equally hard for you, so keep chatting on here, keep getting support, see a therapist. Don't get support of your daughter, she needs you to be strong, but your allowed to be weak around other people. "

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