Rape Support Group

I have no idea...That sounds messed up...I'm sorry

I, too, am sorry. I don't know why people are so insensitive. I've been blamed too, it's the worst feeling and has resulted in me refusing to give the details to anyone. I get the ones who are like "You always have some crisis that's so easy to solve, just do something or stop whining cuz you enjoy feeling like crap." riiiiiggghht I don't enjoy it I am just used to it and am scared to death that if I don't keep carrying the weight of my family and being ready to listen to my friends about anything that my life will just end or something horrible will happen. I'll take unbelievable mental pain off others shoulders and feel like crap whenever someone tells me something like "move out and stop your bitching" like, yes, I CAN move out, but then... who's being my dad's keeper? Who's keeping whats left of this twisted family together? Friends I make such an effort to yank away my own issues every time they want to talk about something, anything, whatever I'm insightful, it's such a curse. I care, another curse.

I guess I just wished that I could find someone with compassion who is there ALL the time for me... hmmm.... maybe I need to go clone myself I'm starting to doubt these people exist!

Tangent... so sorry. I wish I could say I don't believe someone would say it, actually, for me, I couldn't believe it more if you said "someone wrapped their arms around me gently, told me it was OK to cry and they were there if and when you wanted to talk" considering the number of insensitive a*sholes I have in my life.

I don't know what possess people to say stuff that if they thought about it for a spit second would realize how truly hurtful it is, I have no idea why it seems whenever we call someone cuz we're really down they "don't have time for this" are "busy" or kick us while we're down. It's incredible. :(

Once again, I am sorry, but to refuse to put the packaging and bow on the situation, the more time goes by, the more you'll hear "why aren't you over this?" "you're obsessed" "do you ENJOY talking about this?" etc. And the only way to make it through is to put on your thickest armor and rage battle.

Sometimes, honestly, the attacks themselves were complete nightmares, but how people treat me in the aftermath actually comes close to as emotionally painful.

I wish you luck
Sephie

I believe it is a defense mechanism. If they admit to themselves that you are an innocent victim, didn't deserve it, then they feel vulnerable. It would mean that it could happen to them maybe. By blaming the victim, they can distance themselves. If they can point out different reasons you deserved it, and/or caused it, then if they don't do the same things, it won't happen to them, they are safe. Its not right, but it gives them peace of mind.

Yeah, the first (and only) family member I confided in said it was my fault too and that the guy did nothing wrong. I was just as hurt by that betrayal as I was by the Thing Itself. I decided immediately that I would never again speak of it to anyone. I never even talked about it in therapy. I think it is a defense mechanism, as was suggested. They are distancing themselves because the responsibility of properly helping you seems far too overwhelming. SO if they act like it was your fault & you deserved it, then that gives them the right to shun their familial responsibility & feel good/justified about it. Like what do they think we expect them to do? Hunt the bastard down with a shotgun?? If it's any consolation, I think there will come a day when they realize their mistake. But still, I know how you feel. WTF??????

I'm really sorry sweetheart,I have no idea why they'd say something like that. The closest people around me haven't been like that,they've been my support because they love me and care about me which is why I can't understand why your family would be so dismissive and cruel. I'm sorry I can't be more help but if you need someone to talk to,I'm always happy to listen. Take care x

I truely dont know the answer to that. to me i was raped but they say it was being molelested my mother and father said the ame thing but when my mom found out it felt good she back handed me and to me the same thing. i say to myself that they are just shooked and in a state of mind where they want to believe its our fault. i truely dont understand why they say those things to us.

The truth? Sometimes the world just *is* a shitty, chaotic and utterly un-fair place to live in. You can be minding your own business, not doing any harm to anyone else, and disaster will still strike anyway because that's just the way life is.

A lot of people like to believe that they can somehow control the chaos around them by clinging to a particular code - whether that's a religious belief or simply "you can't walk home by yourself in that dress".

In the Middle Ages people believed that if you got ill it was because your faith wasn't strong enough - we might be past that idea now, but a lot of people still believe they can somehow take control of the chances of being raped. The fact is, you can just as easily get raped in your own home, wearing an ankle-length skirt, and by someone you trust and should be safe with (that's how it happened to me!)

Whatever the circumstances surrounding your attack, I seriously doubt you did anything to 'deserve' it.

No one ever deserves to be raped. Unless however, they are the people who would EVER say some nasty, mean and hurtful thing. Those who say others deserve it, should live through it.

Omg thts just mean and wrong..im so srry :(

thanks for your support. I dont trust my family. Anyone that says they deserve to be raped it untrust worthy.