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Discussion:
anal rape
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i was raped anally numerous times by my son's father.Has this happened to anyone else out there?i feel so alone.when i would beg him to stop he would say shshsh, im almost done. i thought he was killing me.i thought i was dying it hurt so bad.i felt like was going to throw up and i was shaking really bad.I'm just looking for support and if anyone else has gone through this how you coped? thank you
Posted on 08/20/08, 02:09 pm
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Reply #11 - 04/16/10  1:06pm
" believe it or not i had forgotten about mine. it was my daughters dad. i kept saying it hurts,that's all i can remember.
however i've been raped so many times i didn't consider it a big deal. only now i want to throw up and cry. only at this moment i feel ashamed and wonder why did i stay with him. only now do i feel and wonder why did he do that to me. why cant i remember more.
i was shameful the way i acted. i am sorry you had to endure that sicko's satisfaction. i cant say sorry enough.
God i feel awful (not your fault his)
im here to talk. "
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Reply #12 - 04/16/10  6:23pm
" I also happened to me... "
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Reply #13 - 04/17/10  6:06am
" Hi.
Yes, this has happened to me for several years by my husband.

I am still in the process of dealing with it, but have finally got to a point where last year reported him to the polis and he is being finally charged by the polis, after an investigation by them .
Let me know if there is something specific you would need help with.
I'am willing to help with whatever I know and what I've learnt in my process. : ) "
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Reply #14 - 04/18/10  2:36pm
" Yes it's happened to me. It's awful having to go through that and I understand how you feel. It's so painful emotionally and physically. "
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Reply #15 - 04/19/10  4:12pm
" I can definately relate i was just anally raped a few days ago I dont know what is happening to me my life is not the same i am reliving it day by day and i find my self pushing people away i have absolutely no energy i also cry alot and the nightmares just will not go away no matter what good thoughts i have i am scared and i feel very alone even though i am engaged i feel like i am gonna push him away so far that he wont love me anymore the thought of sex or sexual activity makes me sick to my stomach i dont know what to think can someone please tell me what is happening to me i am so scared and confused "
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Reply #16 - 04/24/10  9:55am
" I think when it comes to dealing with it, you will have to work out what's the most urgent issue, as there will be several over time.
Mine was the embarrasment and shame, to start off with. It helped to talk with one of my case workers and being listened to.
Of course getting medical help, as I was bleeding badley, both internally and was badley torn, for three weeks after the last anal rape. I was used to these bad bleedings , so I didn't think much of them until I understood how serious this was, through doctors and case workers etc..

I had councelling for a few years, she was amazing and helped me through a lot. I was also ,diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress, so nowdays I'm doing a Trauma Group weekly.

I've stopped councelling ,as she did not think I needed it anymore.

I've been to the polis and reported him. That for me was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was over with lies about our marrige and the heavyness of keeping things secret...It was hard to do ,as I had to go through so much in my statement, it took a few days to complete.

I'm still in the process and I'm anxious about the court hearrings etc..but I know this is for me, getting closure on some level.

You'll get through this, like we all have to..
Hugs to you, we're here for you !! "
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Reply #17 - 04/24/10  10:27am
" It happened to me too, multiple times. "
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Reply #18 - 04/25/10  6:42pm
" It happened to me too, and I think I know why they choose this method. I think it has alot to do with the humiliation factor, and, the fact that, in order to do it, they have to turn your face away from them, and they are, in effect, over you...in a power position. The fact that they will take from you in this way, and care nothing about the damage (physical and emotional) that they cause, gives a little insight into what kinds of people they are.

This was one of the first things to happen to me during my attack, and I was only 12, so I had no foreknowledge of this kind of act. The pain was immense, and to think of it much brings it right back to my mind. My body remembers that intense, stabbing, and someone mentioned the act of going to the bathroom. For me too, this is a horrible reminder, and I have spent years eating the wrong ways in order not to have to go to the bathroom too often. But, by the time I go, it hurts so badly that it simply makes matters worse, not better. This is really difficult to talk to a therapist about, so I tend not to dwell on it too much with him, but sometimes, the memories beat me up. I am so sorry this is a memory for you, and I would surely hope you soon are able to receive the help you deserve to deal with it. "
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Reply #19 - 04/26/10  6:00am
" it happened to me too, too many times to count. you are not alone xxx "
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Reply #20 - 04/26/10  9:26am
" mn, my attacker did the same to me. this was very painful and horrific. i don't recall this part of events often any more. "

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