Rape Support Group

I've held that in for so long, and been confused about it for years....stayed up ALL night stressing about telling her. I need to work through the feelings, confusion, etc... I totally did not expect her to say I just need to stop obsessing over it! What kind of response/advice is that? No, rape counseling is NOT one of her specialites.. I knew that going in, but figured since I've seen her this long, ..and the family issues were calming down, she said its time to move on to next topic, which is divorce from my husband.

I didn't really WANT to tell her any of that stuff.. I just felt like I can't get anywhere if I don't..... so it was either quit now or open up, I chose to open up.. I think I made a mistake. I feel the size of an ant. My feelings are hurt more, I'm more confused, upset and angry and I just don't know what to think.

Rape, though i have not been and don't know how it feels...do know it takes a while to recover from if you ever do get over it. 5 years ago i had brain surgery and still struggle from it, so i know things like rape are just as hard if not harder to deal with. don't feel like an ant. you are important. i may not know you but i and many others still think you are someone.

i understand the feeling of feeling like the size of an ant, its a horrible feeling, and no they shouldnt have said that , i mean i know we shouldnt let it take us over but you cant help what has happened , and talking about it should help you not make you feel bad, dont ever feel bad about talking about it, its your way to cope ...hugs

That's not okay at all. I know what you're going through though. I was sexually abused, raped 12 times, by my neighbor in 3 weeks when I was 5. I told my family and therapist about 5 months ago, and some of my friends responses were, Emily get over it. It's not a big deal. It happened forever ago. But I know how it is. When it happened to you, and you live the flashbacks every day, it's not forever ago. It's every day, dragging on you, eating you alive. I suggest getting a differecnt counselor because that';s not the way you should handle the case. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. I'm hear if you need me hon. :)

I understand how u feel I was raped by my ex husband.
. I first went to a rape crisis centre and the counsellor there was really cold towards me and said I wasn't showing enought emotion she made me feel like a piece of shit like it didn't happen and maybe I was not telling the truth because I was not crying a about it all.. I soon set her straight and told her I had only been raped but had been sexually mentally and physically abused for the last year and was pregnant just because I wasn't emontional didn't mean it didn't happen because we all deal with thing differently.. I cry all the time when I am on my own and not in front of people and she's didn't have a clue on how I felt inside and how I have struggled to live my life over the past 7 years.. I then found a really good counsellor that helped me for four years u just have to find the right person to speak too.

I'm numb

Please tell me you found a new counsellor.

She's probably not qualified to deal with rape victims and maybe she doesn't consider that rape. But her opinion on that is irrelevant because what you reported fits the legal definition of rape.

There are alot of people out there who think that if it was done by your husband then it was not rape. I had the misfortune of having to work with a guy who thought that way. It's doubtful he ever did anything of the sort but just listenning to him talk about the 'rights' a husband has over his wife was enough to annoy me to the point where I actually had to make (or just enforce) rules about conversations that are not work related.

If a co-worker with a bad attitude was enough to throw me off balance for awhile then I can't imagine how much damage an ignorant counsellor can do.

I would ask her why she dismissed it like that (just so you won't have to wonder about it), then stop seeing her no matter how she answers the question.

Its mot only that he also punched me and verbally abused me.. I was crying and obviously distressed......even if she doesn't consider it rape ....just what a ducky response to my sobbing and difficulty speaking about it...what if I left that part out and just admitted he punched me...I'm still traumatized..she shouldn't say stop thinking about it! Ive been stuffing the feelings for years. Counseling is to talk and vent and work through things..anything.. what is traumatic to one person may not be to another. We are all different. Our feelings are real and should never be judged.

The last time was most traumatic and was 2 years ago..first time he anally forced himself on me.... its not just fording himself its also first seeming sweet and then turning violent...and yes extremely confusing since he was my husband. The last time it happened we had been separated 6 months.

No. K haven't found a new one..all this happened yesterday!!!