What is Rape
Rape is, in most jurisdictions, a crime defined as sexual intercourse or penetration without valid consent by both parties. In many jurisdictions, the penetration of the anus or th...
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Some way to help them understand triggers
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I've been r*ped a few times and, it would seem, outside of DS and a couple of my friends, no one remembers this. No one understands when I hide, or retract to touch or anything, and I get insensitive comments when I get upset about what happened to me, like "I'm just offering you a hug." yes, I know that, and I said no, and you'll most likely now force it on me forgetting that I was r*ped.
I don't really want to have to scream at the top of my lungs about what happened to me just to remind them it happened, but I am getting close. How can I "make" them remember what happened to me and that, like it or not, some things just upset me? Any ideas? I don't want to be triggered in silence anymore! Posted on 11/02/09, 05:11 am |
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maybe you could look up some information about common reactions to this kind of assault and then print it out and have it somewhere where these people will see it. Or you could write them a letter saying that you know how much they care and that you really do appreciate it but some of the things they do make you a little uncomfortable and you dont want to upset them by pulling away but want them to know that its because of what happened and not because you hate them.
are you in counselling or therapy of any kind? you could learn some relaxation techniques that, given time and practice, can help you to not have these reactions so much. I hope this helps a bit. Im sorry if it didnt. 
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When that happens to me first i say something like "not right now" or "later" and if they don't seem to get it i tell them " NO MEANS NO!!! "
It doesn't matter if they're just trying to give you a hug, your personal space should be respected!!! It might help if you explained to them (again) that even something like an innocent hug can be triggering, and how it feels to be triggered.
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I agree with Jadedheart. They may not realize that it could be triggering. Maybe you can establish a safe word that means for them to back off immediately.
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