What is Rape
Rape is, in most jurisdictions, a crime defined as sexual intercourse or penetration without valid consent by both parties. In many jurisdictions, the penetration of the anus or th...
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My ex, in some kind of rage, raped me about 3 months ago...
the next day he asked for me to be his girlfriend again, and that he was sorry, and quite a few other "sweet" things. What I don't get is how someone who claims to care about you can do such horribly hurtful things... To be honest, while I was dating him, he was quite abusive... and ever constantly would try to butter me up afterwards... saying "I didn't mean to" "I love you, I just have problems with my anger" "I was drunk" and so on.... I just need some advice and feedback in how I should process all this and... God, anything would help... FYI - I do have a protective order against him and did report this to the police. Also, experience quite a few PTSD symptoms (flashbacks, nightmares) and having a severe issue with depression... I had to go on medical leave for the semester because of it. I'd also appreciate if you'd check out my profile. It explains more of what is going on in my life and I could use all the help I can get Posted on 10/18/09, 11:10 pm |
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The best thing to do is to move on with your life without him. He doesn't deserve an amazing person like you. And no matter how many times he says he's sorry and he wont do it again....he will.
When me and my ex ended it because of the rape, I found that shutting him out completely and concentration on anything BUT him helped a lot. I was doing great for a while until he contacted me. Everything came rushing back this wont be the perfect end all....but it can help you heal. He doesn't even deserve to be thought of at all. With that being said though, people cope differently. You may need to work things through with a professional. I'm just speaking from my experience. But whatever you do, don't have any contact with him at all. Even if he contacts you, don't even say "leave me alone". Just report it to the police and let them handle it. good luck! hugs Sare 
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It sounds as though you've already done the right things by reporting him and getting a restraining order, so you can feel good about yourself for that.
As for the lame excuses/apologies that abusers always come out with afterwards, well, yes I've been there as well, heard them all from the ex who raped me. The funny thing is, my childhood wasn't exactly a walk in the park either, but I've never raped anyone! Whatever our circumstances, we can *all* make the choice to deal with things and not become abusive towards anyone else. So don't feel bad for your ex, he made his choices and he's got to deal with the consequences.
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