What is Pulmonary Hypertension
Pulmonary hypertension (PH) is an increase in blood pressure in the pulmonary artery or lung vasculature, leading to shortness of breath, dizziness, fainting, and other symptoms, a...
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Dealing with a husband in denial (or is it)?
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I met my husband 11 yrs ago; we are both in our later years (67 & 72). I told him that I had medical issues but he didn't want to hear about them. Now I am diagnosed with among many other things Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension secondary to Scleroderma and told by my doctors that even on the best of medications (I am on Letairis) my time is limited. My husband has always been a good husband but is strictly denying this. He doesn't want me to go to my dr., have tests run, rest as my body demands, etc. I have to do what I have to do for myself, now is he in denial (and do I comfort him) or is he just being very selfish (then what do I do)?
Posted on 05/06/09, 11:05 pm |
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At first when I was diagnosed my husband was in denial just because he didn't want me to be sick. My husband went with me to the doctor and asked a lot of questions. I remember when I had the pressure test done - I told my husband the life expectancy was 3 to 5 years and he was somewhat upset and ask the doctor and they did say that with the new med - letaris that it should increase the life expectancy. Of course they cannot be sure they just are seeing what the med will do. I think that letaris doesn't seem to have as many side effects as tracleer. I will pray for you and your husband. It is hard on both of you. Love and Prayers, Berta 
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My husband is in between both of you. At first he was in denial and wouldnt even talk about it. He has never been to any of my doctors appointments or even called when I was in the hospital. Now, all he talks about is "when you die" and how I dont have much time. I dont like to hear about this and we dont know how much time any of us have got. Something could happen to him before me, who knows? Now he has my son going on the same thing and he is asking about my will and what he will get and also the "when you die" thing. I try to live each day to the fullest, but this is hard to take. I tell them I dont want to talk about it and they know where my will is, my wants, whatever, so there is no need to go on and on about this. It wears me down.
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I am sorry to hear that there are others out there with family (husbands) with negative attitudes - but I should have realized that there would be. I wish that they could accept that being told that our lives are coming to an end is devastating. We have to live with this knowledge, learn everything that we can to improve our quality of life and extend our lives all of the while having to deal with breathlessness and NO energy and total frustration with their attitudes. I told Bill the other day that if he can not be supportive and helpfull to just keep his mouth shut and don't be tearing me down. Right/Wrong I just don't know.
Thank all of you who understand and stand by me. We'll just have to be another chapter of the "Ya Ya Sisters" and share info and support. And Sisters, today is not a good day, I have felt much better for days - but today I am just zapped and yet this typing is hurting my hands. Be Good - I Love You All. Joan
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