Pregnancy Support Group

My husband and I also discussed this just because the lady we wanted to help was my child birth class instructor. She was amazing and so much help during the classes. We are still trying to decide if we want to go through route or not. I see a regular OB and the midwife in the hospital because she might be the one to deliver. We have spoken to them about this and they took it very welcoming because they are not there for the emotional support that you need and will go through.

I do know that the lady we have talked to said she charges 2500.00 but that is for the day of labor and she will also come out to your home for the first 3 weeks after birth if needed for help and support. You can also call your local hospital or doctors offices and find out if they have a list of Doulas they recommend.

I will tell you my husband has been the same way he thinks he can do it all himself but if I ask him to get me something he will complain about it but eventually do it, but also other times he is very good about getting me things.

Well I looked into having a midwife but by the time I returned home from holidays they were all booked up. My husband and I also talked about having a doula. I think to have one would be great. Support from a doula would be so worth it. My husband is not open to these kinds of things so we arent going to have one. I have decided to have him and my sister there instead. If you can get him to change his mind.... do! I have heard nothing but great stuff about doulas. Here in Canada it would cost anywhere from $350 - $550. The doula I spoke with lets you decide how much you can afford and what you think her cervices are worth. Good luck :)

Thought I would let you know what we did - I had a student midwife. That costs nothing, as the students are into their 2nd or 3rd years of midwifery and need to be present at 30 births before they qualify. They come with you to all your appointments (if you want them too of course!!) from 24weeks, and will be present at your labour. You CAN change your mind at any time also!!!! :) We had such a beautiful student midwife, that we want her back again for this birth! And she is thrilled to be attending again :) She was able to be hands on with the birth -up to you, you do not have to let them! We had spoken before the birth and all going well I was happy for her to deliver our baby. The midwife and our student both did, as we had some complications. It was such a comfort to have her there, knowing all my wishes for the birth and being a source of comfort and support to both my husband and myself. The fact we had both met her before the day helped, although I started speaking with her only weeks before the birth. Also, the hospital staff were all lovely with her and very encouraging of my decision to have her there, they also let her perform a lot of the checks (blood pressure, baby's position etc) at my antenatal appointments. Try and show him some studies, there are many that show the constant presence of a female you are comfortable with speeds up delivery and reduced complications significantly. Who knows why, but there is a lot of literature spporting this! :)

A long while back befor my fibro got really bad I started looking into being a doula. I even took the class work that need to be done but then didnt have the energy or pain free moments to get me out and solicet pregnant women so I didnt get far with it. BUT here is something you may be intrested in knowing...At least in Az, prior to being able to call your self a doula you have to attend so many births unpaid. And most doulas go throught a period of time when they attend births as a secondary doula as well. SO you might want to contact your your local doula organizations and see if they know anyone that s in training. Also doulas that are recently trained cost less and are very ambitous to doa great job ...

As for the husband try this....

Tell him you are wanting to be able to have him help you stay focused and be there for your emotional support. Doulas are great for teaching the husbands tricks for making you more comfortable and be able to be the best support he is able to be for you. They are very sensitive to the husbands rome and they try to compliment your husbands support NOT take his place. He maybe feeling like you dont have faith in his ability to be your undying support and rock and that yo are looking to replace his duties. Also point out that labor can take a long time for some. IF you end up in labor for 18 hours is he nver going to want a break? Or go to the bathroom? and after the baby is born your labor job isnt over, you will have to deliver the placenta, and where do you want your hubby and where does he want to be??? with you delivering your babies life support??? or with the baby??? Also havign a second pair of hands allows for better pictures. Ever try asking the nurse who is assisting to snap pictures of you and the baby and your hubby during the birth process??? DOes he want to have to take pictures? and if he does who will support you? And wouldnt it be nice for memories to have pics of dad during the process?? Who is gonna take those? you??? I doubt it... Some of these things may not fit with your situation but they are great arguements for you to present to dear hubby to help him understand how a douula is as much for him as it is for you. It just frees your hubby to paly the role he WANTS to play with out missing out on anything. MY hubby hates leaving my side while I finish up my surgeries on my c section, but I insist he go with the baby. Being torn between leaving your wife unsupported, and your new helpless baby is a choice that if avoided is better.

GL

Thanks for the support ladies! Now I've got some fuel for the fire when I talk to my hubby!

I agree with the others. I think a doula could be very helpful, and am considering one myself for this birth. If you doubt that he will be able to fully support you, a doula can definitely help. In Canada, Iwas told they charge form $300 to $1500.

I think a doula would be helpful especially if you feel your husband will not be able to give all the support you need. I felt that way with my first and had my mom there with us, and now looking back I see that she played the role of doula for me and coach to my husband and it was the best thing we could have done. With my second my husband knew what kind of support/coaching/guidance he was going to have to provide and he was confident and more attentive.

I was watching one of those baby shows and a doula was talking about there being volunteer doulas out there. I think you should do as the other ladies suggested and look into the schools/organizations for the students.
Before you try talking to your husband again do your research and then make sure you talk about him having his role and the doula having a different role and him being able to enjoy the moment he becomes a dad!

Good luck!