Pregnancy Support Group

This was me 5 months ago. It was driving me crazy. I just smiled and nodded told them thank you, I would think about it. I just tune them out now. It's hard.

I just used to change the topic. Sometimes I would explain that we have differing opinions - without going into it or I knew I would get mad :) If it something you find very personal, just let them know nicely it is not something you feel you would like to discuss with them. Failing that, let them know you appreciate that they want to help and give advice, but you would like to have your own experiences and you are quite comfortable in your own decisions. Let them know you will not be discussing these topics any further, and politely refuse to enter into conversations about it and change the topic if it is brought up again. Worked wonders for keeping my sanity in my pregnancy with my daughter!!!! This way you are not being rude or offensive, but also are not living with that feeling that you are being coerced into discussions you do not want, or allowing people to give their opinions when they are not desired. Best of luck!! Remember, this is your baby and your experience, as much as people just want to be involved they also need to respect you, your feelings and your decisions. They can be involved in other ways, and have other discussions with you! xx

Just wait, it gets worse once you have the baby, esp the 1st year. My mom, who is not a nosy, busy body, used to come out with the wildest advice. Her and her sisters would get together and peck about what I am doing. The worst part was that my mom and her sister would say stuff like, oh I never did that when I had kids, or I never heard of that. Are u kidding me its been 30+ years since u had a baby, do YA think things have changed since then???? Uggg it was so annoying, and of course I am super sensitive to this sort of thing. I am 37 yrs old and didn't just fall off the turnip truck. And we have soooo many resources today, Like DS, u really have to be an idiot to screw up too badly

I know how hard it is to do, but sometimes all you can do is ignore it and say something completely off topic as though you didn't even hear what they said! If you say thank-you they might think you truely appreciate the advice and they will always chime in.
Beware, your hormones you mentioned might just surprise you one day and words you thought you would never say to somebody might just come out!

my m-i-l called me stupid for not getting the vaccine because she was getting it. guess who got the flu...? hint: im still healthy.

I think a lot of the time people are just making noises with their mouths :)
They haven't really thought about what they're saying so you can just smile and nod and say "well - everyone's different".
Or you can try sarcasm:
Since we had the baby I've been told:
"crying's not bad - it exercises his lungs"
- so should we all spend an hour a day screaming?

"he won't get enough rest if you keep picking him up"
- tough - he doesn't let me rest so if I want a cuddle he can go without rest too (of course he loves to be picked up and sleeps far better on me than anywhere else!)

"you don't want things to be too clean - he needs to build up his immune system"
- oh yes - I make sure that he licks the soles of my husband's shoes every day when he gets in from work and I dip his hands in the toilet bowl.

"are you feeding him again??!"
- well you've just had a cup of tea and a biscuit :)

It's worth knowing what the official recommendations for things are so you can just say: "Hmmm interesting - that's the opposite of what the hospital/doctor/government recommends..."

Important thing is not to let them get to you and keep smiling - they're just jealous really that they're not about to have a beautiful brand new baby.
Oh and remember how annoying it is so you don't do it to your own friends/kids etc in the future :)

Don't ask me--I tend to get really short with people when I'm sick of hearing them--and I don't care! The way I see it, they had their turn raising kids, or, they had their chance to. This is my time, and I will find out myself. If I want someone's advice, I am not afraid to ask.

You can always use that old line "When I want your advice, I'll beat it out of you." (I'm only kidding.)

I have three kids already and have survived one round of the teen years, have one teen now, and a pre-teen. Babies are a walk in the park....

My wise old grandmother (in heaven now) gave me the best advice. She said "They [meaning the so-called experts] change their minds about these things every few years. Just do what feels right to you. You know your baby best."

I was surprised how much the advice changed between my girls (who are 3 and 4 years apart.)

The worst thing is when you try to be nice to someone and say, "thank you, but I want to experience it for myself" or "maybe it didn't work for your child, but for mine, it might" etc. people may STILL be offended. I think, the best thing is to keep quiet. I'm a VERY impatient person (pregnant or not) and it annoyed the crap out of me when people would tell me stuff. My SIL was CONSTANTLY sending me articles and crap of simple, common-sense things that I already knew about. But she felt she knew more than me because she had just had a baby. Example: she suggested "a U-shaped pillow, called a Boppy" to me...in case I hadn't heard of it! Who hasn't heard of a Boppy? I had one already! Geeze! I finally asked her to please minimize the emails and advice because I do my own research and I like to learn on my own and she was beyond offended.

So, I don't think there's really a good way of telling people that you don't want their advice. Basically, just ignore it!