What is Pregnancy
Pregnancy is typically broken into three periods, or trimesters, each of about three months. While there are no hard and fast rules, these distinctions are useful in describing the...
Join Now
|
Selfish or No?
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Okay so I'm at the 22 week mark
yayyyy. But yeah I feel like my boyfriend and I should be going out and getting baby stuff when he gets paid. He keeps saying he thinks its too early to buy the big stuff like the car seat and stuff like that, which i can understand. But it's like I have to knock him in the head to get him in gear. I know baby's are expensive, EVERYONE in my family has told us that so I figured he'd want to be prepared a little. But so far he's only bought the baby like 3 outfits. I keep talking about all the stuff I want to get our son before he gets here and I know that maybe some of the stuff can wait, like the pad that you put under the babies crib mattress that alarms if he doesnt move for 20 seconds, but i'm new at this and i just want everything i guess. He keeps telling me i'm draining him when it comes to spending money, but honestly he hasnt really spent that much besides the outfits. Then today he went out and bought himself a $100 Iphone to go on his moms plan. Like whoa. I have to push a baby human out of my body and josh gets a friggin Iphone? I understand he didn't have a cell phone before and he needed one just incase something happens while he's at work, but I just think he could have gone a little cheaper. Maybe I'm being selfish and hormonal or rambling, but now that we're getting close i think the baby should start coming in first a little bit when it comes to buying stuff, before he knows it it's going to be time and we're going to be prepared with a crib, 2 suits of clothes and 4 bottles.. I guess I'm just venting, give me some input if you guys can, I need to know how to handle this and if its even worth handling or if its just me. Thanks for listening to me vent (= Posted on 07/02/09, 07:07 pm |
| 8 Replies | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
He needs to prioritize but he might also be freaking out on the inside. You do have a registry for a baby shower, right? 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Not yet, I still haven't gotten around to doing it. I don't even know when I'm supposed to have a baby shower aha, everything is so new to me
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I agree with what KanJ has said - priorities need to be adjusted by everyone involved when a baby is on the way.
Beyond that I would like to add that baby gear does not need to break the bank. I buy everything at rummage sales - even for my older children. I have spent maybe $50 dollars on our baby that is on the way and I feel comfortable that we have everything we need for at least the first three months. I breast feed so that's free. The only things I am really using from my previous babies are cloth diapers. Big items like a travel system (infant car seat/stroller combo - also a second-hand find) will be a gift from family. We will also have a shower where we will ask for items needed for when the baby is older. As an experienced mom I'd like to encourage you not to get too caught up in the baby stuff madness. The most important gift you can give your baby is a relaxed you and a good relationship between you and his/her father. That is a gift your partner can work to give his child too without spending a dime. The other stuff you really truly need will fall into place beyond that.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
USE YOUR FRIENDS!! so far, we bought a crib and a few baby things, but everything else is being given to us!! and ppl love to help! is he the only one working? i know it can be stressful, im going thru this as well, hubby and i BOTH lost our jobs and im 24 weeks, and he is enlisting in the AF and we know that right now, we just CANT go buy everything our son needs, but God will provide if you just ask him!:)
and yes, he DOES need to prioritize! hubby wanted a new xbox game and i said "ok, when tripp gets his crib bedding, we will get it" hahaha. :) its not just your baby, its HIS TOO!:)
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
actually 100$ for a phone isnt bad. It probally is time to start getting some of the things you NEED. It can be hard to choose between what is needed ad what is really just wanted. TO be honest Ive raised 2 kids so far with out a pad that goes off if the baby doesnt move (one was very premie and very sick even). But things like a car seat are very needed. ANd yes you can get some really nice things at the second hand stores. ONe thing I would not get is a car seat as it could have been in an accident and may not have the same integrity that it had when first made. Car seats are the one thing I wont use second hand... not even from my daughter (she is 4 now) as safty standards have changed. I might think about it if I KNEW it was less then a year old and KNEW the person giving it to me (Like say my broter or something) and they could assure me that it was never in an accident. Cribs are a little more forgiving. I am using my daughters for the new baby as its less then 5 years old and I know it still meets current safty guidelines. A little research can put yur mind to ease on a used bed.
Maybe if you went second hand shopping for the bab your mate would get into it a little more when he sees how much he could save AND you can point out that such a good deal wont last long. I try to have most everything by week 36. HEre is my resoning... If born befor then the baby will likely spend a lenghty time in the NICU and I gaurentee that will light a fire under the mate. After 36 weeks the baby could come at any time and could very easily come home since by then the hope is that the babys lungs are developed. SO you do have some time still so dont stress tooo much. One other idea... you may want to ask for a small allowance to put toward baby things. Ask him if he would be willing to give you a small amount of money that you can either save for big items or spend on the smaller stuff as you see fit. Maybe he just isnt into the shopping so much... Good luck and enjoy ;p
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
BugBite - very good point about the second hand car seat issue. I should have mentioned that all the precautions you suggested were taken with our second hand seat. Car seats have a label on them that state exactly when they were manufactured. I think it is recommended that they be less than four years old. Beyond that you should be very sure they were not in an accident and you should also check with the manufacturer about recalls. Never buy a used seat without the instruction manual.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
sry i should have also clarified mine as well. i worked at a daycare, where most of the stuff im getting has JUST been used like in the last year lol. the safety IS the number 1 priority!
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
My husband is the same. He does not wanna talk or think about baby stuff. I am 17 weeks and we only have a couple little outfits. The only reason was because I found out I was pregnant while on vacation in Europe so I bought a baby t-shirt from each place we visited. I have no idea what stuff I will even need. I am trying to not stress over it though. I think men have a harder time being excited and planning ahead like us women do. They are not pregnant... so it is different for them. Hang in there, he will come around eventually.
|
|
|
|
||
| Add Your Reply |
