What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a term for certain psychological consequences of exposure to, or confrontation with, stressful experiences that the person experiences as h...
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feeling discouraged -- vent!
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Hi DS friends.
I just need a place to let out my thoughts and feelings. These last few months have been really hard and I finally realized that most of the problem is how hard I am on myself. I have so little compassion for myself and hold myself up to ridiculous standards all the time, every day. I think I should accomplish as much as someone who does not suffer from PTSD, DID, anxiety, depression, and host of other problems. I feel it should not matter that my husband is a recovering alcoholic, and that I'm dealing with an angry teenage son just starting high school, and trying to comfort an elementary-aged son who is seeing his whole family fly apart. I feel it shouldn't be a big deal that both of my parents died young and tragically, and that my closest relative -- my sister -- and I are now estranged. And so what if our house is dirty and cluttered and we can't afford all our bills (primarily because I don't have a paying job)? There's no excuse good enough. I've done so very much to be proud of IN SPITE of all of this, and yet I don't feel proud. I feel like a failure. I hate this illness. I don't know who I would have been without it, but I do know how much it has derailed me. I try to have hope that things will get better someday. But every day is a struggle. I'm so tired. Thanks for letting me vent. Hugs to everyone, ClairI (also known as Alice!) Posted on 11/08/09, 04:11 pm |
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Alice,
You have been so through much, and you try so hard to be so strong for your family. Please remember to take care of yourself. You have been such a good friend to me here on DS, I want you to know that I am here anytime you need to lean on someone who understands the struggles of living with PTSD. You are always reminding me to be kind to myself...I would like to return the advice. Alice you are not a failure. Far from it. You are much stronger than you believe..as you told me just today..find a way to live each day a bit calmer/happier/easier. These family issues are difficult, but they are not your fault. You are doing the best that you can. Raven 
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Alice,
You are dealing with am enormous amount of responsibilities and emotions, while trying to keep the family and the household together...while also dealing with your own personal issues ( "PTSD, depression, etc..) Please be gentle and kind with yourself. You are doing the very best you can at this time, you are doing what your capable of. While its wonderful and necessary for us to think of our loved ones, and to take care of them, we also have to think of and take care of ourselves. Dont put yourself down for thinking you havent done enough, or good enough, or anything to be proud of.. you ARE good enough, and you have done so much to be proud of, dont put expectations on yourself that are unreasonable for someone who isnt even dealing with any PTSD, depression, anxiety..You have come to the right place, you will get a lot of support and ancouragement here... and coming here to vent means that you want to try to get better, and THATS something to be proud of. ALthough this is only an initial step, it all begins somewhere.. and when you feel better physically and emotionally, and I have no doubt you WILL , then you will also not only live a happier life for yourslef, but also for your family. There is hope, there is happiness, and there is life beyond PTSD, depression, anxiety etc.. ((hugs))
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Hey Alice,
these ladies are totally right. Your a strong woman, and I understand your frustration right now. You have the right to feel the way you feel, but know you are a strong and awesome woman and you will get through this. Know you are NEVER alone, and all of us are here to support you. I think it's time to worry about you. Your family will understand. You need to take care of yourself before anyone else. And your angry teenager will understand. I was once that angry teenager who had an alcoholic mom, who actually this year became sober. I understand now her struggles, and if you are honest with your teenager they will understand to. I hope this helps hun. It will work out. *Always have hope* Kristin :)
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