Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Support Group

Okay, I'm going to try this again. (Technical difficulties!!!ARGH)

You are going to be okay. I would start by calling all the big names, (Salvation Army, Red Cross, any women's shelters). They may not be perfect, but it will at least keep you warm/cool and dry. Have you attended any church lately? Not all churches are alike. You might be able to find some financial help in exchange for work at one. (Just a thought) I'm trying to think outside the box. Go the the nearest Department of Family and Children Servcies, or health department. They have many resources for financial aid.

I will be praying for you.

~Hugs~

So I'm in the papers looking for a room or small apartment, and I call this elderly woman who has an apartment for rent and we get to talking for a half an hour. Got along so well. Turns out we have a ton of things in common and we agreed to stay I. touch and meet for coffee regardless.

It's a funny thing. Never thought I'd make a friend this way!

Kapsha,

I thank you kindly for the suggestions. I know that my circumstance is requiring some very careful thinking...as well as thinking outside the box.

I want to avoid social services for the following resons (and I'll be frank because I'm pressured with time).

•I am HORRIBLY triggered by the social service population/s,

•I have a history of being used as a poster child for representing social groups/and agencies by virtue of my economic crisis' This is precisely why I elected to stay on the street before. I mean no offense by this, but I feel like a political whore. I refuse to allow myself to be exploited in that "system" again.

•Social services, of course, fill needs...many of which I am sure are ligitimate; however I have enough experience with them to understand as well that the can be and are oftentimes a "trap" as well. The basis and criteria that is needed to provide the services enables and fosters strange dependencies. Not always, but once you get caught in it, it's almost impossible to get out.

•I like your idea of my contacting a church. I am actually trying to resources with several persons within my faith community now. I am praying that this yields a solution, if even temporary.

•I am so sick and tired of moving and being in one crisis after another. I have moved now 23 times in the past ten years. God have mercy. This is NUTS! Each time, I risk losing my things (lost everything twice), things get damaged, etc.

At this point, I am doing my best to avoid homelessness...still looking for work as if it could yield a job offer tomrorrow, still researching housing, still trying to reach out. My PTSD symptoms are bad. I am still trying with that, too.

If need be, I will simply put my stuff in storage and hike...just try to make sure I land in a area where at the very least it is safe to be homeless. I want to try to avoid that, of course.

It is also possible that I could call some of these places and just explain to them that I don't want to physically go to there offices. I hate this! God, I am so sick and tired of this!

I am very appreciative of your suggestions, and willingness to give this more thought. And as well for the hug.

I am not sure I can do this again. I want to scream.

Well that lady sounds like great news phloxinsox! I have noticed in my life....times that I felt most desperate and afraid of what is in store for me next in life.....where will I go and live.....somehow it was THOSE times that something unusual, unexpected and miraculous happens.

It's really scarey (to say the least!!!!)....but I feel like there is real possibility for something positive during a time like this.

(I also like Kapsha's advice) I have found that just putting the energy out there and everywhere....help will come from somewhere unexpected.

I was homeless with my then 2 yo daughter for almost a year. We're okay now. The panic is understandable. I can tell you that listening to Dr Wayne Dyer's new program "Excuses Begone!" transformed this process in my life.

He has 18 'excuses versus affirmations' cards that you can download for free on his web site and looking at these and practicing them is doing wild and crazy good things for my family. http://www.drwaynedyer.com/ Let us know step by step how we can help. You are not alone. You're doing the right thing. You can and will succeed. Your new life will be the goodness you have always deserved. Hugs.

All the homeless people don't have to feel so bad because...

LOOK!

There's phloxinsox! See, she's homeless, too.

I AM WORTH NOTHING OTHER THAN TO BE USED AS PRECEDENT...AN EXAMPLE...A FRUCKING POLITICAL POSTER CHILD!!!!

Paraded around like a frikken whore!

Now I'll get to represent the homeless.

I am so angry!!!

I just vented.

I'm sorry phloxinsox....I wish I could be more helpful...I'm not sure how.
What a horrible position to be in.

Oh, but I am Lexperienced." All the more reason for those to exploit me.
Had a roommate when I first moved here six years ago. She kicked me out with only two weeks notice and in the middle of winter (so she could have more privacy with her boyfriend). And when she did it, she said, "Oh, but you've been homeless before." "You can handle it!"

The fact that I had experience seemed to make her feel it was okay then...such is a typical response I get. Just because it happened does not mean that I could handle it!!!

I need to figure out a way.

Optimally, I would prefer a job (of course), and I keep trying every day, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.

I moved to a small town because I was too triggered in the big city, and was exploited there. A spectacle. A device.
I wanted to go to a place where I might be left alone...where I could preserve the right to my privacy...instead of being "paraded" around like I felt I was.

Some of the employers here kept saying, "We can't afford to pay you what you want." I took a 55 percent cut in salary, and with no insurance. I wasn't asking for so much as they made it seem. I don't have a car, or mortgage...yet everyone else here does. I wasn't asking for so much.

Spent hours on my job search today, and talking to people trying to find a solution. I hope that something comes through. It is so unbelievable living this way. And today I was triggered through it all, too.

I just need to find some other ideas. There has to be something else I can do.

Thank you for your replies and for your support.

After I graduated from high school, I went to school to be a model. Trust me, I'm not model material...iI was just compensating for feeling unwanted and unworthy after losing my father, being raped and subjected to an effort to involve me in prostitution.

I felt abandoned and wanted to be desireable. I felt like dirty trash, compensated...I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to feel that I was worthy and valuable.

Instead, I felt like the universe said, "Model this!"

Oh, but it serves a broader human interest so it's got to be a good thing!
And after all, I'm so frucking GOOD AT suffering and wearing humiliation. I look so good with trash!

I just vented some more!