Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Support Group

If you have CPTSD than u have surely been guilt tripped and manipulated for a looong time. It is normal to have a bad reaction to it.
It is entirely normal even without CPTSD. So keep being triggered, just try to tone down the negative effect on you, and stay away from manipulation. Never again!

Thats what I try at least :)

Thank you for all the replies. I thought that possibly it was just me being sensitive to the whole situation.

But as I can see, it's not just me. And I'm glad that other people understand what it is I'm talking about.

And your sense of humor is fine...it's all good.

Kath, thanks for that. It's true, I've likely had CPTSD since I was an infant...and Guilt Tripping definitely didn't help. I kept a lot of secrets from people. Cause I didn't want to feel guilty for a lot of things...as long as they didn't know, they couldn't use it against me and make me feel guilty.

Well mabey my shoe is on the other foot, because i find myself guilt tripping my husband quite offten. Esspecialy when it come to our children. Many times he picks his friends over his family and it pisses me off to the point where I will say whaterver to make him feel like s**t. It hurts me to see my kids feel bad, thinking there dad would rather spend time with a bunch of drunks than his family. Don't take this to heart I'm sure your situation is totaly differnt. But when it cmes to guilt tripping I'm guilty. "Sorry"

>> CamiT:
Well mabey my shoe is on the other foot, because i find myself guilt tripping my husband quite offten. Esspecialy when it come to our children. Many times he picks his friends over his family>>

CamiT you aren't putting your husband on a guilt trip. You are reminding him of his parental duties. It is wo wrong to choose to be with friends in altered states rather then the people that need you and love you the most.


>> and it pisses me off to the point where I will say whaterver to make him feel like s**t. >>

Good. You Go Girl!!!! /verbally kick his arse.

>>It hurts me to see my kids feel bad, thinking there dad would rather spend time with a bunch of drunks than his family. >>

This is very sad.

>>Don't take this to heart I'm sure your situation is totaly differnt. But when it cmes to guilt tripping I'm guilty. "Sorry">>

again that's not guilt-tripping. we didn't 'sign on' to play mom and dad as moms.

Cami, I'm going to agree with Swandy in your case.

It's not fair that your husband chooses his drinking friends over his loving family. It's not fair to you or your children.

I think there is a big difference between someone just NOT wanting to do something and being guilt tripped into it...and someone who's being guilt tripped into something...and ignoring it because they don't notice. The fact that you'd say ANYTHING only proves desperation. You're desperate!!! You want him to be the father and husband that you fell in love with and imagined him to be. Yet, he's not doing that at all.

But...I'm going to say this now...don't give up hope that he can change. People do, everyday. Not everyone...but the more you hope and(pray, if you do that) never give up...the greater the chances. The relationships with those who've guilt tripped me my whole life...will NEVER be mended...but...I can still hope that they can change.

I hope he starts changing for you and your family. I'm sorry that you're going through that. Keep reminding him that he has responsibilities, and he should own up to them like a man. Instead of running away like a little boy.

Your desperate for him to pay attention to the RIGHT people in his life. Those circumstances are HUGELY different. My situations just involved people trying to get me to do things for them...because of their laziness, "inability" to do things themselves...or because they wanted to see if someone will cave to do something for them. Due to whatever reason...but NOT out of desperation.

Clairl,

I like your honesty. I think we are all certainly capable of this and have exercised it from time-to-time. I am highly sensitive (as many of us are here) to manioulation...especially, and agree that guilt-tripping is manipulative.

When I read why, I felt it was justified, and yet...as for the alcoholics in my history. They didn't have a problem with their drinking. I did. I took responsibility for what was my problem.
Retard,

As for guilt-tripping, I came from a background where I was punished whenever I asked for anything (and I mean anything!). Surviving parent repeatedly made me bleed (emotionally), when I asked for anything (even basic needs) so there was always a very high price. Still very difficult for me to ask for things I need. This was only reinforced by the rapes, too, which were parallel with having asked for something. Gotta hate them double-binds. I understand.
This causes me to do some self-inventory, however...

Four years ago, wound up homeless for three and a half months. The consequence of betrayal. I am still bitter, as I recall the people who walked past the place where I slept outside. Observing how they concerned themselves more about the fact that their dog was out too late. I am still bitter as I recall the responses to me then, too. One woman who betrayed me said (sarcastically as if speaking in my voice), "Why you're an upstanding person in the community," as if (in a sarcastic way) suggesting that I needed to get off my high horse! Yet so assurred that she, herself, having had a husband to support her for most of her life, would never, ever experience the same fate. Assured that what had transpired would never be of any consequence to her. I remain bitter, but I never lashed out at her, thanked her graciously for whatever help she did offer (a lawn chair to sleep on, some clothing she donated, some food). Even so, I feel so angry still...as I face that fate once again (I remember). I worked three of the three and a half months, which even NAMI (who deals with a lot of homeless people) said was extremely rare. I did not set out to cause anyone discomfort or guilt, but they felt guilty to the point of trying to make it appear as tho it was all about me and my PTSD. Betraying me and antagonizing me had NUFFIN' to do with it! Fact is, there are some times when we are betrayed, guilt is experienced, but as a direct consequence of the betrayal.

So, Doll face, I understand...and yet I also understand the other nuances that result in guilt.

I try not to identify myself as a victim, and yet I cannot deny the truth...the profound unfairness of some things that happen in life. For me, too many.

My apologies. Another sleepless night of aimless reflection.