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Discussion:
Patience doesn't just come to me
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Since I got news that there will be ultrasounds and such for kidney disease for me all summer, I'm preparing for the summer's long haul and how to be patient with it step by step. I believe patience doesn't just come to us. I believe we cultivate it with practice.

It's not easy for me, but I have to give myself credit that I must have some patience in me to have lived this far with PTSD. What tries my patience the most about PTSD is how it is so constantly rude, interrupting me with flashbacks all the time when I'm busy trying to get through my day.

So since with chronic kidney disease I've got another incurable illness to live with on top of the PTSD I've got, I'm trying to transfer skills from living with PTSD to living now with this new stage of CKD.

Any suggestions? How do you muster up the patience for the long haul? I could really use helpful tips.
Posted on 06/08/14, 07:20 am
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Email me when others reply to this topic help
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Reply #1 - 06/08/14  10:15am
" Put up with the crap for the next hour. Then the next hour.

I dieted off over 100 pounds in about 18 fairly miserable months...asthma is exacerbated by obesity, and I wanted my life back. "
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Reply #2 - 06/08/14  10:56am
" Good for you, hylie :)

I have 3 serious chronic conditions, and my health goes up and down like a bouncing ball. A bouncing ball doesn't bou8nce up quite as high each time, you know? It's a frustrating pain, but I have to be flexible. A lot of patience is being flexible in our expectations, and our schedules. If I get very set on a plan, and it busts I can either be very upset, or I can have a Plan B.
So, I have to tell people, not that I AM going to do something, but that I'd LIKE to do something and make a TENTATIVE plan. I ask them to call me the morning of the event and see how I am.. if I'm good to go then great,, and if I'm crashed I tell them and let them go without me.. bummer, but it is what it is. "
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Reply #3 - 06/08/14  11:38am
" My Psych doctor gave me a concept my both my husband and I use.... check marks.

He said to spend the day collecting check marks. Set something to be done, something small, and give yourself a check mark when you get it done. This helps for those days when you look at the big picture and it overwhelms... break it into small pieces, and give yourself a check mark at each step along the way.

Yadlim and my Misha "
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Reply #4 - 06/08/14  12:39pm
" I'm in the asme place but opposite---my coping skills from epilepsy and then my accident/injury are ones I am trying hard to transfer to how I face PTSD! It's pretty awesome when it works---It gives me the realization that "I know how to ltake things in small steps, to measure progress in months not days or hours, to remember that on the other side of pain I will find.... if not a lack of pain, then a way to live with it better and a lot of times, even *less8 pain. (Still working on that with the accident, can you tell? Oh how I am trying!)

One way I practice patience is with play doh---jigsaw puzzles --- do my breathing exercises while I'm shaping a petal or fiting pieces. No idea why that helps me, but it does.

You are gonna rock this out---
Maybe try the Zen activity of watching a rock grow? I can get totally lost in a piece of quartz or staring at a plant, and then I try to put that in my head when i'm getting nervous or impatient.

I frequently fail.
But then, iwhen I odn't?
I know I'm the rock *and* the water. I am flowing around the rocks; but I am a rock and the water flows around me.

OK, I confused me. SOrry.

Wishing you best:-) "
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Reply #5 - 06/08/14  1:54pm
" This may sound contrary but it is what I try to do. I lower my expectations. I don't mean negative thinking but at the same time I don't a smooth road. If I plan on there being some bumps I can handle them better. "
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Reply #6 - 06/08/14  1:56pm
" A long time ago I mastered patience, and when I fall out of remembering I sit still untill I do remember. I am here now, in remembering, yesterday and today. That doesn't mean that next week I won't be out there screeching for help or crying for health care. It's today. Yesterday. I don't know how to help, except that patience was already a part of me. I think it was a part of you. Hold on. Remember. With PTSD things seem tragic and "I gotta do it now" to get rid of it, to feel better. Patience you know. Patience will hold you. And the strength, love, caring, and prayers of yur friends. "
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Reply #7 - 06/08/14  2:26pm
" I have to take some conscious steps... Patience doesn't come naturally to me either..

Soothing music... taking a walk... sometimes discussing what's going on with either a friend, on here or even my dog acts as a vent and gives me some time to cool down..

Meditation or prayer can help me as well... Sometimes I just need to give myself some time to think about the subject matter after a little break

Big hug for you m....xo "
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Reply #8 - 06/08/14  5:27pm
" wow.. is that part of PTSD? That "I gotta do it right now'.. urgent feeling? "
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Reply #9 - 06/08/14  5:49pm
" I think patience and impatience vary within the human race without it being necessarily connected to any diagnosis. When waiting to discover one's health status, anxiety and impatience are considered well within typical range of response to such a situation. And we all have different degrees of patience for different things, depending on our context. Personally, I've decided perfect patience at all times is not a realistic goal---the best I can do is *try* for patience at all times, and be patient with my failures, LOL....

Muji, as you head through this patch, just post here and let us know what we can do to help. "
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Reply #10 - 06/08/14  11:49pm
" WOW. Did I EVER ask the right question to the right crowd or what?

I cut and pasted every single one of those replies into my offline journal to turn into a tool kit for the summer ahead. H, losing 100 pounds! We'll be talking, because with my metabolism slowing down 60% with that amount of kidney failure, I've gained weight I'd like to lose. What you said, x, and SunCloud, and Leo, Cecil, Yadlim--I'm going to use those suggestions as each fits the occasion.

Geez, do I ever feel heard by people who really get what I'm asking about. Thanks, everybody. I'm going to come to you often about this patience thing, then, OK? "

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