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cannot handle stress
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I am so disappointed in myself. I cannot seem to handle even small amounts of stress. I have done the therapy thing, self help, think positive and all, but nothing seem to be getting me better. My computer acted up in an exam and I ended up not getting my exam completed blowing my 96% average on an easy exam. Prof said he would adjust marks of those who had computer issues, but by the time I heard that I was so worked up about me not being able to handle stress and off to wondering how I would ever handle working for a living. It just did not matter what the prof said. I was angry and frustrated at myself and scared to death of the future.

Now I am hypervigilance, cannot stop beating myself up, and I am so afraid of the future I am second guessing if I am doing the right thing staying in school. I am afraid that the money I am borrowing to go to school is a waste because I will not be able to handle the stress of working and have not way of paying it back. I am so afraid. I am also having anxiety attacks now too. I thought all this kind of stuff was over. I just take one little thing to set it all back in motion again. Cannot wait for the flashbacks to start again.

Any suggestions on how to handle this? Why? Why? Why?
Posted on 12/04/12, 12:04 am
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Reply #1 - 12/04/12  3:52am
" Learning to tolerate distress is part of the growing process - like lifting weights that at first are a strain.

You are doing the right thing by working towards a future career. Part of the learning process is not just the information but the experience you get in dealing w/ frustrating tasks and learning how to problem solve them more effectively as time goes by. So please Canuk, cut yourself a little slack. You are brave in what you are doing and working hard at it ...and succeeding. This process will mature you, train you. So baby steps and trust your brain. "
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Reply #2 - 12/04/12  7:57am
" Welcome to my world.....I live like that.

I have no advice but just keep trucking...inspite the fear.Maybe something will change and you'll be pleasently surprised.

Remind yourself you're not your PTSD symptoms its ahrd to do, i know...But sometimes it helps you stay focused. "
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Reply #3 - 12/05/12  11:13am
" I am dealing with the same. I hear what you saying, about waiting for flashbacks to begin again. For me there is a domino process: Stage 1 is stress, worry, mild anxiety, trying to stay positive, some distorted thoughts, difficulty sleeping & concentrating Stage 2: increased anxiety, feeling uncomfortable in my body, more distorted thoughts, losing perspective, mind now racing, feeling scared, insomnia, Stage 3 : full blown anxiety, distorted thinking, loss of perspective, terrified, nightmares, hypervigelence, fried nerves, can't handle it, AUUUGH!!

I am realizing my root starts by ignoring something I am needing and splashing on critical, unfair expectations. In the past, I was so busy trying to be "normal" I ignored my limitations. Living with PTSD, there will always be a need for modifications.

I crashed & burned at my last high stress, full time job. Now, I thought working part time in a contracted position-not getting extras dumped on me was sufficient but it is not. That my anxiety is starting again, I need something more. I am trying to listen and figure this out, avoiding the domino.

Going to school is not easy for someone with PTSD. There are deadlines, multitasking, dealing with numerous teachers, assignments, tests, computers, presentations, classrooms, etc. and this changes every semester.

You can do this Canuck and I encourage you to acknowledge what you are needing. Hope you figure out what that is & show yourself some tenderness.
Hugs, Violet "
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Reply #4 - 12/05/12  1:33pm
" Do you have a therapist? There are tools to learn to handle stress, there are many, it depends on what works for you the best. I'm sorry you are experiencing such discomfort. "
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Reply #5 - 12/05/12  3:27pm
" Medications can help. I took a mood stabilizer to keep me from over reacting to stress. My worst symptoms are when my l'm not getting needs met. Like validation from friends instead criticism from work. Like enough sleep & good food instead I eat junk food and don't sleep enough. My anxiety and frustration tolerance get much worse when I'm not being nurtured emotionally. We need friends who vocally and pretty constantly care for us. Mine until recently were all online. But they are good friends and we do help each other. The opportunity vent your frustrations as much as you need and know you are heard help me.

I often concentrate so hard on making it through a difficulty (like school exams) that I forget to nurture myself. When I fall down exhausted I'm so disappointed in myself because I was TRYING SO HARD. But without emotional and spiritual care the real life things do become too much. Takes a lot of care from self and others to function with PTSD. And yes I know it's easier said than done. Good luck to you!! It's obvious you are trying very hard. "

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