Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

If you feel abused, you probably were. The feelings in your heart are your true validation.

If you want a professional to label it than talk to one - a medical doctor, therapist, social worker or etc. I remember it did help me when a specialist confirmed my feelings and clarified how I was not to blame.

Hugs to you.

Really, it definitely sounds like abuse. But you know, it doesnt matter what other people think about it. You went through it and you know how you feel and how it affects you. If you feel like you were taken advantage of, hurt, manipulated, etc. then you know you were.

The point is what YOU FEEL is ALWAYS valid. No exceptions to that.

You ALWAYS have the RIGHT to feel what you feel. No exceptions to that either.

If you feel hurt, work towards healing. If someone else looks at you and tries to tell you what you are experiencing is somehow not valid/true, you need to ignore them and keep moving forward because they are wrong. What matters is healing you - not them.

I call it, "confusion" while I sort that one out. Life is full of hazy lines and varying shades. Getting too strict in my definitions doesn't seem to help much.

You hurt. That is enough to validate an "Ouch."

Not to be glib, but what's "normal"? Just the fact that you're asking that question, and asking it here, makes me think whatever happened to you wasn't normal, probably was abuse.

Letitbe gave good advice here as elsewhere today. (Way to go, Letitbe!) Professionals can help with that question. Early on in my years with a therapist it was helpful for me when my therapist would stop me and say, "what? Say that again." And then, "do you hear yourself? You're talking about such and such as if it happens to everybody. It doesn't."

Then I realized my survival strategy was sometimes to be blase' and "normal" about things that really shouldn't have happened to me. Then I started listening to my own story with more respect.

Respect from others you've got here already--know that.

The only way i do it is to tell my story to myself as if i am someone else and see how i feel towards them. Its probably wrong but i feel more for someone elses experiences than i do my own. I constantly need to validate that abuse so i dont blame myself for who ive become. A proffessional opinion and insight would help you best though.

As much as i advocate self-healing.I agree that getting some feedback with some professionals would be very helpful.

But if you have asbuse symptoms most likely you were.

I mean if you had scars of some kind you have had to had been injured.

I do not think its pissible that you have these symptoms without a reason.People do not make them up.

And also you may not remember a lot that you may have gone through.Or something tha was very traumatizing for you.
And just the fact that your mother could not really protect you even if she loved you is traumatizing enough.

I meant possible not 'pissible' omg..sorry for the typo..lol..

`Unhappylady, you wrote: "The only way i do it is to tell my story to myself as if i am someone else and see how i feel towards them."

I think that's brilliant! I do something like that, too. It helps get perspective, and show self the compassion we all deserve.

This post scared me when I read it. "How do I validate abuse?" I'm struggling with the same question. What I know in my soul, spirit, mind, brain, life, is that it was real. The other validation has to be legal. I'm working my way to getting there. You know the truth of this abuse. Don't let anyone or anything shake you from this knowledge. The most important validation is to yourself. Get yourself there. Then you can move on.

Sending thoughts of discenment, self love, knowledge of truth, hope for peace.

thanks so much to all of you who have replied.... i send you all grateful hugs xxx