What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a term for certain psychological consequences of exposure to, or confrontation with, stressful experiences that the person experiences as h...
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I tried posting this in the group earlier, but am experiencing technical problems (again!)...
I have PTSD from 3 (primary) events of trauma in my history. Lost my job one week ago. Losing my apartment at the end of the month. My PTSD is presently managed (as best as I can), however I am have been close to breaking down on several occasions recently--as the triggering that I have endured here combined with the other stressors have made it extremely difficult to manage at certain times. Presently, and given the excessively high level of stress I am under, my judgment is feeling greatly affected. I am also experiencing a great deal of confusion (although I compensate quite a bit). Hence, I am asking for advice. (It has taken me hours just to articulate this as clearly as possible). Desperately trying to find work (complicated by not only the fact that I live in a small community, by the current economic crisis, but also by some unusual resistance I have experienced within the community where I live). I am unable to rent from anyone without a job, and am (consequently) once again faced with homelessness. I was recently approached by a woman within my faith community who informed me that she has some space to rent (upper portion of a house); however also informed me that the future co-resident has a heart condition (an "older" female--potentially at higher risk of heart failure--with congenital heart disease). Although my current assessment is that this new living arrangement "may" consequently involve some risks for "me" (medical emergency/ies, and even possible heart failure), I also believe that (in lieu of this) the consequence of such "could" exacerbate my own condition (PTSD) and even possibly send me over the deep end. I believe that my prospective new landlord probably has good intentions and that she wants to be able to offer a home to this resident and having me rent the upstairs at the same time makes it more affordable for her to live there. All very kind and good, but I still need to make some assessments about the risks and responsibilities here. It is possible that the resident's risks are well-managed and minimal, and that it might not represent an "issue." I will determine and assess this more carefully. However... In the event that there is high risk, I will also invariably be assuming risk. The combination of which is at least "risky" (smacking head), if not "irresponsible." Yet, I am potentially faced with homelessness, too?! Again, I still need to make some further assessments and inquiries, but would very much appreciate your thoughts, suggestions, etc. I experienced various triggers in the house, but had (not dismissed but) disregarded them in my considering the opportunity of a place to hang my cap.Fact! Crisis compels one to consider things they might not ordinarily consider (damn it! I am petrified of winding up on the street again!), which ONLY results in my responses being stifled (at best) and festered, but my having to consider less desirable options as well (even if some triggering is present). I worry most of all right now that my stress level is affecting my judgment. Any suggestions, advice, thoughts, please!? Posted on 07/09/09, 05:07 am |
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I also see possible risk in the fact that the two units are not presently (although may be by the time I move in) secure.
I have experienced problems by several in this community who have attempted to slander me. Once, even being approached by a store owner who asked me if I was going to pay for some item that I put in my pocket...and yet I did not, nor d I steal! I told her, "If you REALLY believe I did what you are accusing me of, I suggest that you call the police right now and without hesitation." She later apologized. Point is that I have felt that some of the residents here in this town have indeed attempted to slander me (in one way or another), and therefore I don't trust the risk factor in moving into an arrangement such as this. I "do" trust my prospective new landlord, however; but even so... I pride myself on my high integrity, and yet being in this circumstance represents risk on a multitude of levels. Again, there are still various things I need to check out first. The environment here has been consistently antagonistic, unsupportive, and hostile however...and consequently, it is difficult to know who I can trust. 
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Okie dokie,
After doing a moral inventory, consulting with a few counselors, and carefully mulling through the circumstance, I have decided... 1. We will both have a chance to meet, which will be good for us both to do... 2. I will accept this as a blessing and as a gift, 3. I will not project my fears, worrying about all of the "what ifs..." 4. I will be helping several people in this process who will (in turn) also be helping me, 5. I will be present, positive, and do my best to make this a pleasant experience for myself and those around me, I am just feeling so overwhelmed and terrified with all that is going on. Decided to spend this evening getting my anxiety down. It is an opportunity to both receive and offer help. We will still be able to meet first, which will help.
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I agree with ^all of the above^.
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Thank you, Kapsha.
I both genuinely like and trust the landlord. Am working to bring the anxiety down this evening. Less than two hours of sleep and nightmares for the first time now in months. Some Self-care and a good nights rest will make all the difference. Interview this weekend. If offered a job, this could make a huge difference. I am nurturing four leads right now...all of them generated via my own initiative. Hope you are well, BTW! You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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I realize this is an old post & you may not see this response, but I believe you have made a wise choice. And for all the correct reasons. I'm sure it will all workout for you.
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