What is Physical Emotional Abuse
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is unlawful or wrongful....
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ok so this past june when my arm ended up getting hurt ( by him ) after a doc visit the next day for said hurt arm once we got home I just happened to mention what he had done wow! I got accused of throwing it up in his face he knows now that he will never hear the end of it. stupid me! so the very next day I come home to flowers and a card that said I love you on the front and his message was "i'm sorry for everything. I try to make every body happy but it doesn't seem to be working. I really don't know what to do. I do love you! and? then he preceeds to tell me later that those weren't because he hurt my arm ( which he didn't he was trying to keep me from falling ) according to him the flowers and card were just because. ( by the way my arm got hurt from him grabbing my wrists he slung me around so hard i felt something tear or pull in my arm by that time i was on the ground. he never touched my forearm but i developed a huge bruise i think thats was the muscle that pulled i guess they can bleed from the inside out) and he grabbed my wrists because i tried leaving theroom to get away from the namecalling and bull. any thoughts and yes i know i should have called the cops why is that easier said than done? i didn't i think i shut down when stuff like this happens does that make sense? sorry ladies now i feel like i'm just rambling
Posted on 11/07/09, 05:11 pm |
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I think that at times, calling the police seems like an escalation, and you are just trying to make the whole thing stop....So it's just hard to do sometimes. Someone told me when my ex fixed the furnace so I couldn't have a hot water shower that I should have called them. I said, I just wanted to get away, and get to work. In hindsight, I should have....
Your ex seems to be good as makng it up as he goes along....the flowers aren't because he hurt you, but just because? Just because he treated you like crap, just because he is afraid you'll take off, just because he thinks he may have crossed the line, so he's scrambling to get behind it again. Sorry this happened to you...Hugs... 
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It took me a great deal before I called the cops. And I still didn't call them every time. I should have. But I totally understand why you didn't.
Just be careful and stay safe.
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What a pathetic tyrant. I am so sorry you're suffering like this. Yes, it makes sense, it's not easy to call the cops, or leave, or stand up for yourself when you with an abuser. It's easier said than done because of fear, the trauma bonding...all those reasons why we stay or go back several times before leaving an abuser.
When you were talking about shutting down, you made me think of the 'freeze response', that primal fear and immobility that happens when one is facing trauma. It's like hitting the accelerator and the break at the same time. Very tough on the body when it happens over and over again. None of it is easy, but it's possible to reach out for help, get some counseling, talk to the DV shelter and get some much needed support.
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You titled your thread:
any thoughts? Here are my thoughts: You are in danger. You are in DANGER. YOU ARE IN DANGER. YOU'RE IN DANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He wrote to you: I try to make every body happy but it doesn't seem to be working. This is the mind of a sociopath. It's natural to freeze. That's one response in crisis. In the forest, if a prey animal froze, the predator just might not see the prey animal and it might escape. That's how that survival mechanism developed in us, biologically. But it won't save you, at home, with an abusive predator in your face, hurting you ------ and JUSTIFYING hurting you. This time you had stuff tear (and yes, of course, stuff bleeds inside!!!!!) and bruises. And please don't discount the severity of tears and bruises. Next time it'll be broken bones and lacerations. Then maybe he'll swing you around and your head will strike something hard ---- and of course ----- it won't in any way be his fault. Then, if you survive that "accident," maybe because it resulted in a concussion that eventually heals, the next time will be --------- a "fall" down the staris? disfiguration? being paralyzed? being killed? Stop rambling. Start considering our experience. Why are you sitll there????????? Please take care and be well! Ilene
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