Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

I know just how you feel...I walked away in a very similar manner leaving my house, neighbors, friends, etc.

I do spend a lot of time alone and I enjoy it. I also reach out to find new friends...I work at a bookstore one day a week and often run into interesting, smart folks to hang with. I invited someone over tonight whom I met at the bookstore...I'm making a pot roast.

You said you have a lot of married friends...let them know you are looking for healthy, single friends and let them network for you perhaps?

There are also places you can met friends on the internet like meetup.com where you can literally meet up with folks who share similar interests. Good luck to you, hon. ;-)

A lot of churches have divorce recovery groups or maybe some other kind of group with interests like yours where you can make friends. It can be hard to get out there in the world but you have a new life now just waiting. Believe it or not, I meet a lot of folks walking my dog. It helps to ease the lonliness sometimes just talking to someone for a few minutes. It's going to get better, but you will have to make an effort. There are lots of people out there - just waiting to be your friend! Give it a shot. Commit to doing one thing different every day. Go in a new store, introduce yourself to your neighbors, invite someone over to watch a video and eat some popcorn... I bet that person would be grateful for the invitation more than you know. I am sorry though that you are missing your old life. It doesn't seem fair does it? Well, as Oprah said once "We just don't know the good things God has in store for us"...or something like that. It stuck in my head and I wish you a million good things. "Living Well Is The Best Revenge".

I feel the same way. I walked away from my home of 10 years. It was a ranch house on hundreds of acres of beautiful land. We had 4 wheelers I would go riding all the time. I would take long walks down to the river and spent lots of time outdoors. We would have company over and have cook outs and have fun. (It was fun when we had company b/c he was always on his best behavior.)

I had so many memories there and I have spent a lot of time grieving for that home. I still do. I live out in the country and same as you I read and watch tv alot. I have begun to do lots of crafts that I've been wanting to do and that's helped. I started making soap, lip balm, and greeting cards. I'm also taking tons of pictures and delving into graphic art.

As for friends? All my close friends live far away and I haven't really made any close friends around here thanks to my stbx and having a full schedule with school and 3 kids.

I miss having friends to hang out with. I really don't know what to do about that. Find something you like to do and then find people who like what you like. I'm thinking of joining a gallery were local artists and photographers meet once a full moon. Haven't done it yet though b/c I feel like I'm nervous about meeting new people.

It's so hard I know. hugs.

rcr,

I know how you feel. I sat down and said okay, this is your life now. They are no longer a part of it. What cha gonna do? Then I put a plan in place of trips I would like to go on, things I would like to do, thinks I want to learn, and things I'd like to try. Then I decided I had to make a life for myself, by myself. When I am out, I try to be as nice as I can to everyone (except red flaggers). I linger a little longer, talk about the small stuff and leave with a Have a great day. I just act like the store clerks or gas attendants and I have been friends for years. Heck I got a whole dentist office of gals that I cut up with and kid with now. Good luck.

I can relate. Like you, I left with only the stuff that would fit in my car. I had a beautiful home, that I decorated and gave a lot of love an attention to. He's enjoying all of that now, while I'm in a one bedroom apartment. I miss my old life, but I don't miss the abuse. I greive daily for both, but my house the most. I wonder if I'll ever be able to live in something as beautiful as what I left. Lately, I've been doing a lot of crying, especially after learning that he's brought another women into my home. It didn't take him long to find someone else....that really hurts. And to think that she's in the house that I found, decorated and love, using my things that I had to leave, really makes me so very sick. This pain is devastating...and sometimes gets unbearable to the point that I can't think clearly, can't sleep and just want to crumble. This has got to be the worst time in my life. I don't wish this pain on anyone, not even my worse enemy...(no not even him).

All my friends live in another state. I talk on the phone with them, but it's not the same as sitting down face-to-face or beingn able to hug them and cry on their shoulder. Like you, I'm don't feel comfortable around strangers, especially now because my heart is on my sleeve and I cast a down spirit and don't want to bum anyone out.

So, I watch TV, read and sleep. I can't find the energy to do anything else right now...

these responses are really great and helpful!! : )

That's how you got where you were... it it weren't for the nice things you would have never stayed to be abused. Remember, you can have all those things again WITH safety. None of it is worth your life. Abuse grows... over time you wouldn't have had that anyway. He wouldn't have let you have it.

I got the house... but he tore it to pieces before he left. I have had to learn to do construction because it isn't worth anything the way he left it. Can you believe, the thing was nearly gutted! That is the motivation of an angry person!

You are better off.
You will have better lives than you had...
give youself the time to "overcome"

Praise God
He rewards!