What is Physical Emotional Abuse
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is unlawful or wrongful....
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Getting away from him - keeping away... for good
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Please help. Through reading the various submissions and material on this excellent site, I realise there are so many people out there with similiar situations and stories - and alot of love to share. Please help me. I have just left my b,friend tonight of six years - and this time, this time it has to be for real. I'm typing this and I know it to be true somewhere but I'm also so scared I could slip back. We are just over six years together and it is extremely abusive, both mentally and emotionally. He's clever, he knows exactly how soft and giving I am and he manipulates me, everytime. He knows how much I need appoval and with scraps here and there he keeps me like a puppy begging for more.. while he keeps me at arms length. I wish I could be more articulate than this right now, but I am just so beaten and sick with pain and heartache. I'm om antidepressants for very good reasons, but can't afford them anymore and stupidly tried to go off them cold turkey thus am now suffering horrific discontinuation syndrome - shakes, crawlinbg sensations,perception warp and at the cinema tonight he kept shooting me 'you are so weird looks' and looks of disgust while I was agitated and upset, while knowing all about being off the meds and how i feel.... meanwhile on the way in, he was telling me all about the next fancy sports car he's going to buy (his income much more than mine). Im sick of the looks, and being made feel like I'm weird, or damaged or a burden and that Im too demanding when all I want is to just be held and listened too, without condescending remarks or being woken during the night, with growls and smart comments and asked to leave the bed because I'm snoring again and he can't sleep. But having no support system from my parents Im scared i may eventually just go back to him because I crave approval so much. Please could anyone share tips on how to just stay away. He is a complete bully,Im new to this game, I dont feel entitled to anything or any of the good things in life at this stage I am just so worn. Please help x
Posted on 08/16/09, 09:08 pm |
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Can you call a womans shelter, they will help you get back on your feet. Tell them how things are and your fear of going back..there are programs out there to help abused women, I am lucky I have a church I go to and I have a lot of support..
Hugs 
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Agreed...and follow strict NO contact. Do not take his calls, texts, accept visits or mail. Start blocking him so you can start healing properly. Find a therapist asap who deals with this...you have a lot of deprogramming to do from this monster.
You are entitled to the good things in life just as much as anyone, despite what garbage he's filled your head with. You don't deserve to be treated this way. What has happened is not your fault. Please find help, you will start feeling much better. Keep coming here, this is a great group!
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Start learning about the behaviors of emotional abusive men; understand what traumatic bonding is; find a therapist; and prepare starting NOW to go NO CONTACT.
I'm sorry that you are in this situation, but you are movin gin the right direction.
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ditto on all these comments. Getting to know what gets you into these type relationships will help you heal. knowing the red flags to look for in men will help you avoid the type man you just left.. I suggest reading "in sheep's clothing" after you have settled into a safer life. all the things you described about how you feel is common in the battered woman syndrome.....
Hugs Pink
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Thanks so much to all of you for taking the time to write. When i woke up this morn, first thing I did was logged on to see if anyone had replied/shared support and I was overjoyed too see and read your responses. Yeah, I wa thinking the same as in NO contact. He called twice today and both times I ignored the call. Im proud of that, I just need to stay stong because it is in the coming days when he stops contacting that il start to miss him and may start looking back through rose tinted windows... very dangerous. Actually i prob should write a list of all the reasons I left before this happens so I will always have it there to remind me, in the weak moments. I cant go back. I cant make contact. It is so hard though. Thank you all so, so much for your support and care.
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Yay! Good for you, rest. Keep moving in that direction, and you'll notice the difference overall of how you feel....better.
Ilene has a great exercise, similar to what you mention. Write down all of the things he did to upset, anger you, all the terrible things he's said and done on index cards, and have them handy to read until the urge to contact him passes. You need to keep the bad stuff in mind to get you past calling him or answering him. Our brain naturally blocks the negative stuff, so it's a battle...keep fighting, you can do it! Each day of NC, tell yourself today will be NC too! Pretty soon it's a week, then a month...we all slip up, so don't feel bad, but keep trying!
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i have been married for 5 years and for 4 1/2 years i have been threw hell i am always getting my ass beat and i am done i will never get married again
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