Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Athena...I can relate to what you are feeling..I felt the same way few days back and started snapping on people who care for me...But now..I am slowly starting to try and channelize my anger in a positive way...I am realizing I cant change what happened to me but surely what I do today will shape my future...Keep on venting in DS and you will get lot of support here..Read books, take a walk..do everything that you always wanted to do...Hang in there..It will get easier with time...

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,anyone can start from now and make a brand new end

I am having counselling and the one thing I struggle with is the anger. I was extremely angry yesterday as he had kept a secret from me that my son had told him and I felt as a mother I should be aware of problems and not be excluded. He refused to tell me and I stood there with my hands on my hips and shouted at how angry he made me as I hate secrets. This always ends the same in that I rant and rave, get ignored then start crying. I find if I don't say something though I tend to bury it with food and want to punish myself. It is difficult though but my anger gave me the strength to physically push him out of the door and tell him to get out of my house when he said he was glad he wasn't an arsehole like I was.

I can so relate. There is a body-sized punching bag where I work out. I know I have taken out a lot of anger there. I also find bowling (strangely enough) very cathartic. You need something physical to work it out though...hugs to you.

Hi wv ----

I'm always telling clients to go find a punching bag.

Bowling is a great idea. Knocking stuff down!!!!

Good work.

(I like vigourous dancing, also.)

i.w.

LOL, I though I was the only one who vent in such a mannor. Iv already wore out 1 tread mill. I also keep stock of pencils on my desk. yep when frustraited I simply break one into pcs, it works for me. I disliked cleaning up glass,lol.

Ha, Ilene...I like that! Even better to put a picture of your ex on that punching bag?? Sorry, naughty moment...!
Athena, it's normal to get really angry after what they put us through.....I think it's worrisome for someone NOT to have any any anger about it, that they may be repressing a lot of emotion which is inevitably not healthy.
Yes, physical stuff helps! I've been doing a ton home updating recently...digging, scraping, hammering... it's exhausting but at the same time very cathartic! Then I reward my hard work by pampering myself....it's all about taking care of YOU.

The punching bag is a great idea!!! A few others came to mind....

Put his face up on a dart board....

Put a picture of him on the floor and walk on it...

I like to write, so I at one time wrote a poem about everything I hated about him....that helped me tremendously. Tho I couldn't show it to anyone, LOL

Or used the anger to drive you to do something productive for yourself, that he has no part of, that he can't take from you, that makes you a better person.....

Hugs....

Athena... I feel the same way. I tend to turn to my kids and invest in them. They make me happy. I also read or paint. But I will also take the advise of everyone here.

too bad we cant be songwriters right? Sometimes anger, lonliness, despair are good lyrics to throw into a song.

I sometimes find ways to express my anger, and emotional pradus into music. I find it to be calming, and soothing.

If you ever want to listen to music that deals with this sort of thing pick up "little earthquakes" by Tori Amos.

It helped and saved my life so many times that I cant even count anymore.

cosmo...I think my life is a country-western song!