Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

I know just what you're going through. I was raped two years ago today. (not by the bf but by an unknown person.) I had a dream about two weeks ago about it, and about two months ago I had a dream that it was happening to me again, but by more unknown people. I don't know how to tell you how to make the dreams stop. I too went for help after this experience and was diagnosed with post truamtic stress, which causes axienty that releases itself in dreams, or exreme anger in the mornings. (perhaps I have these dreams and don't even remember.) Does this happen often? If not, what helped me was when it did happen and woke me up, I took over the counter sleep aids, and just went back to sleep. If this happens a lot, perhaps more theropy and a prescription to help you sleep may help. Props to you for your recovery. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I guess in your case abuse of trust is a huge part of it... I don't know about the situation you have had in the past, but what I do know - my general spiel about nightmares:

Nightmares: ... what I learned from my personal experiences...


I am a true believer that nightmares are all about emotion rather than any particular dream symbology, so to me it doesn't matter if its a shark or a toothbrush chasing you, its how you feel about the situation. Also that I nor anyone else can tell you how you feel (although perhaps guessing or empathizing may help there)... but I don't think I can fix dream issues for other people personally, all I can do is arm them with some truths that may help them help themselves...

I used to be plagued by nightmares when I was a kid, the way I got over them was partly growth, partly the fact that I realized that a dream doesn't affect or hurt my waking life in any form other than my behaviour as a result of experiencing the dream...

The thing with nightmares is, ironically if you could simply ignore them they wouldn't be a problem, but because thats not possible the dream situation brings you into a state of awareness/alertness, due to that you take in more detail/notice/sensory data about the situation itself, which makes you even more scared because you are being faced with a situation that you have now seen/noticed theres even more to be scared of... and you'll be in a position to more readily notice something like this again...

The dream can often perpetuates itself that way... hopefully during the experience a truth that eases the situation arises, something to help you remember that all your doing is dreaming... (nightmares at least are by definition lucid dreams)...

With any luck, like me you may come out of this with the gift of lucid dreams of your own choosing, rather than being stuck in the horror of one you appear to have no control over...

Note: there is another less desirable possibility that I don't really suggest for people who are fragile (mentally) or may be at risk of psychosis ... that is desensitization, forcing yourself to further experience the dream, learn everything you can about it, bathe yourself in the experience which is often the last thing someone having nightmares wishes to do!

I'm sure most people who experience them for reasons I explained earlier either know much already, or think they know all there is to know about their nightmare... but eventually, especially if you amp up the experience by facing it, sooner or later what scares you about them will no longer hold the power to do so, like children playing violent video games, they eventually become desensitized to them, or you'll simply realize the stark truth of it being nothing more than a dream... however this is unlikely to occur on the first "replay" around after learning of this, and secondly, the whole goal is to not be frightened anymore, why try to re-experience that?...

Hope this helps and I wish you all good luck and many future Sweet Dreams!

Ask your therapist about PTSD ~ this is a common symptom. You have been deeply traumatized and need help addressing this issue.
Unfortunately, PTSD symptoms can 'pop up' at any time, even years later. If your therapist doesn't deal with this, find someone who specializes in it.
Best wishes