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mini abuser possible TW for Ed& SI
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I just dont know what to do anymore about my son. He's getting as bad as his Dad. I can't say anything to him w/ out him freaking out on me! I just dont know what to do anymore. He wont let me be a Mom and when I try to be then im.being a bully. I just cant take it anymore. If he's not triggering me his Dad is! I feel so lost and alone.I just dont know how much more of this I can take. Im at the end of my rope figurately. And I wish I was Literally.I cant do this anymore. Nothing I ever say or do is good enough for either one of them. Im Nothing but a DOORMAT to be walked on and for them to wipe their feet on. I cant take it anymore. I need to cut so bad. Ive been wanting to for the past 3 days. I just cant handle this pain that's in my heart. I need to feel another kind to take my mind off of how much my life totally sucks! You've heard the expression " Life Sucks and the you die" well Im ready to die! It's only a matter of time. I figure either it will be from my heart giving out or something else in connection w/ Ana. Or I will end up bleeding to death, b/c of cutting too deep. Sometimes when Im really upset it seems as if I cant cut deep enough or see enough blood. A few wks ago I wasnt happy until I had it running off my ankle onto the floor. I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel so unloved, uncared for and about. I also feel very unimportant like I don't matter and nothing I say matters either. ;-( I can't take this anymore. I don't want to take this anymore. I'm done!! I want to be gone FOREVER AS IN DEAD!!!!!!!!!!
Posted on 06/07/14, 11:28 am
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Reply #1 - 06/07/14  3:11pm
" Please call one of the suicide hotlines. If you have a therapist, place an emergency call to them.

Also contact your local women's shelter. You are being abused and they can help you get out NOW. Please allow someone there to care for you and get you the help you need.

There is no shame in asking for help. Your son has learned well from his father. And you can't help yourself until you HELP YOURSELF!

We we are flying and they give the safety instructions, they ALWAYS say put the oxygen mask on first BEFORE you put it on your kids! There's a really good reason for that and its a perfect analogy for your situation.

You can't save your child's life if you are DEAD!

You are a worthwhile human being and you deserve to be loved and respected. Your husband is an abuser and he is, more than likely, not capable of love. He is abusing you and your son and the only way to save your son is to SAVE YOURSELF FIRST!

Once you get out, and get help, you will begin to heal and then you can work on saving your son.

PLEASE get to a suicide crisis center as soon as you can!!!

You are cared about and supported here, but there's nothing we can do to help you unless you help yourself first!

Sending you healing thoughts & prayers. "
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Reply #2 - 06/07/14  3:13pm
" That sounds really tough to be getting it from 2 angles! I don't have experience with dealing with and abusive kid but I can only imagine how hard it is!

I'm really glad you are writing. I self-harmed for a while due to the abuse, and expressing it in other ways always helped me the most, so I hope it helps you too. I understand the desire.

Please know that their abuse has nothing to do with you. You don't cause it; they create it.

We care for you here! Please keep writing. "
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Reply #3 - 06/08/14  12:38pm
" rexory ----


800-273-TALK (8255)

is the number for your
state's suicide hotline.

And this:

(207) 430-8334

is your state's
women's resources agency.

Please call one or both

Abuse, and yes. . .


can be DEADLY.

But PLEASE don't make
a choice that will
end further choices.

Please call those numbers!!!!!!!!!! "

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