Very important list, thanks MTC.

Lots of things on here that I recognise as physical abuse, but that it took me a long time to find out that they were! It's great to have this info all in one post xxx

I'd also like to add some other types of physical abuse caused directly by verbal abuse that I thought of:

- unfairly criticising cleaning/exercising/working habits when they know or don't care that it will force you to run around doing these things excessively and detrimentally to yourself to meet their standards.

Watching an episode of 'Wife Swap' one night (show where two ladies swap practical roles within their families for a while, for those who have never seen it), I was appalled to see a husband who routinely verbally manipulated his wife, who had Chronic Fatigue syndrome (no wonder), into cleaning literally every inch of their home daily, whether it needed cleaning or not.

He could be heard retorting that nobody in his family was going to be "lazy". He would yell at her and their young boys (who had also developed Chronic Fatigue) to get out of bed when they needed to rest.

It reminded me so much of the exhaustion I suffered at my dad's and husband's hands that it made my blood boil...

The visiting wife who had to take that lady's place was vocally aghast at and questioning of his attitude, and very astutely recognised it in her behind-the-scenes private interview as, "Not cleaning because things needed to be cleaned, but cleaning just because he said so."

Hearteningly, she also let him know in the couples' face-to-face afterwards, in front of his wife, that she thought his behaviour extremely damaging and unacceptable, and why. It was good to see someone tackle abuse head-on like that, and also let the victim in on just how badly they were being treated. Who knows, the wife may have realised her and her children's condition and left due to that eye-opening.

He wasn't laying a finger on them or being violent to or near them, but if that isn't physical abuse, I don't know what is.

This is a great list overall
and after I make some
observations, I'll add
a couple.

Strangling or choking
(or smothering or
suffocating or any
action that inhibits
a person from
inhaing freely)

even if "only" done
ONCE, and/or
briefly -----

are indicators of
an abuser's ability
to commit a mortally
FATAL act of violence.

The act of cutting of
a victim's airways
exponentially
raises the risk
that this abuser
has the ability to
(not "just" accidentally,
but) intentionally and
directly
MURDER
his or her victim.

In the realm of
"red flags," this
category of
physical abuse
should be a
bottle rocket
flare in the
night sky
that this abuser
is capable of
KILLING.


And yes, in regards
to TICKLING. . . . .

there may be
moments and
situations in which
tickling is a lighthearted
game enjoyed by both
the perpetrator(s) and
the one being tickled.

Those moments and
situations are the
EXCEPTIONS,
NOT the norm.

While the tickle response
generally begins as laughter
(which is the reason it has
become labeled as a
play-time game),
at some point, in most
cases, even the ones
that began as lighthearted,
tickling becomes a
technique of TORTURE.
It's anything but funny
for the person who
is either
no longer enjoying
the game, or who
never wanted this
to be happening
in the first place.

Yes, in regards to
sleep deprivation. . . . .
which typically includes
the perpetrator
waking the victim
who has either
just fallen asleep
or who's in the
middle of a restful sleep
or who, very simply,
hasn't yet slept enough.
And this, also, is a
technique of torture.

Punching is on the list
but I want to add that
a punch doesn't have
to be a "knock out"
punch in the fact
to be an attack.
It can be "restrained"
and out of the public
sight-line, and still
be an attack.

Twenty-seven refers
to threatening. Again,
a threat may not always
be overt. The example
I'll give is when my
then-abuser saw
me working at the
kitchen counter on
a crafting project.
He was holding a
large kitchen knife
and asked if I wanted
a hand with the crafting
step I was doing right
then. I said, "no," I had
it, but thanks.

In the next breath,
he slammed the
knife he was holding
down onto the counter
and inch and a half
away from the little
finger of my left hand,
which was resting
on the counter.
(He was such
a willing "helper!"
Just hated when
his "offer" was
rejected. Don't
let that happen
again!!!!!!!!)

Number twelve indirectly
covers anything not
directly specified.
Nevertheless
I'll add
poking.

Like tickling,
poking doesn't
seem like it should
end up being all
that bad.

It doesn't draw blood
and seldom even bruises.

But those seemingly
mitigating factors
are exactly what
makes it so insidious.

My mother would poke me.
And the spot on my arm
where her finger had
pushed into my flesh
"burned" almost
as badly as it would have
had she touched the spot
with her cigarette.

Pushing a victim
out of either the house
or a vehicle
is physical abuse.

Thank you Ilene for your additions and expounding on some of the ones we wouldn't normally think about when we think about abuse, like tickling.

And thank you RB for bringing up something extremely important - the mind body connection. IMHO, ALL verbal, mental and emotional abuse is physical abuse because they all lead to physical dis-ease. We cannot deny the mind-body-spirit connection and if we stay in any kind of abuse, it will affect our physical bodies as well as our spirit/soul, emotions and mental capabilities. Any kind of abuse can and does affect how our brain works.

I totally agree!

I believe that threatening is a big one - and not just to you.

Threatening themselves with physical harm or threatening anyone else with any of the above is also physical abuse.

Especially when they claim that they had no choice - it's your fault.

MyTrueColores, thank you for this.

Rockin, I hear yours.

llene, I hear you. I'm sorry for what all you know. Only known for having been there.

Physically abusing my animals. No way was that going to happen again. That ended it for me. Hurting them was the same as hurting me. Never again.

Wow, this post is eye-opening. I never looked at a lot of these things that way before. Thank you.

I completely agree on tickling being used as a form of abuse. It's been done to me in a way where it felt like torture. It's actually a really scary thing BECAUSE is starts out (or can start out) as a playful thing, but then escalates into, "HOLY SH** STOP DOING THAT!!!!!" But they won't. Because it's "fun", right? Ew. Makes me cringe inwardly remembering.

I'm glad this important
thread was brought to
the top again!

scarlan, I too am having a sort of flash back w the tickleing thing. and the horrible feeling when it wouldnt stop.
And the butt smacking surprizes me. That was a very direspectful thing my dad did to me since i was a child. I hated it! But never thought it qualified as anything but demeaning.

I'd like to add that it usually starts with your physical items... at least it did with me. He began ripping photos of which he was jealous.

Then he smashed my computer.

I wasn't going to stay around for it to be me. It took a few months after that for me to leave, but that was the tipping point.