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Discussion:
"It was only a joke"
Watch this 
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Pasted in from today's
Wolf's Daily Howl:


How many of you have heard their abuser say
(after being abusive):

I was only joking!


That's what the talk show person said
after scamming the nurse at the hospital
where the Duchess of Cambridge went
for severe morning sickness.

Yesterday, that nurse. . . . took her life.


That was the barely-minute-long news story
on CNN this morning.

But a life has ended. I felt sick when I heard
the story.

The nurse who took the scam-call was USED.

I don't know what the nurse felt.
Humilated?
Violated?
Guilt?
Shame?
Whatever it was that she felt,
it was deadly.

But remember folks. . . .

it was "just" a "joke."

The next time you hear that,
know that jokes can be deadly.
Posted on 12/08/12, 11:15 am
26 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Reply
Reminder: This is a support group for Physical & Emotional Abuse. We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

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Comment:
Email me when others reply to this topic help
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Reply #21 - 12/09/12  4:29pm
" I LOVE the discussion.

A lot of good points were
brought up and argued.

Throughout my life, from
very early on, I have been
involved in media. Long
ago, I was a print journalist
with a major metropolitan
daily (as a cub reporter). I
began learning what things
got into print and why. I
began learning about the
connection between
commerce and journalism,
the connection between
marketing and what got
shared with the readers.
Then I moved on into
marketing and promotion.

All these years later, I have
a pretty good understanding
that what the talk show people
were looking for was not
specifically "laughs" so
much as exposure or "buzz,'
and advertising dollars. It's
all about the bucks.

I don't know if this is true globally
but in the U.S., the T.V. shows
are broadcasting more and more
"gotcha" shows. In its earliest
form, it was "Candid Camera."
Way back when, the gotcha was
relatively innocent. Now, it seems,
the more humiliation that can be
sprung on an innocent person
who walks into the scenario,
not knowing that there's a
pay off for the producers,
the more "successful" the
scenario is deemed to
have been.

To me, this is a pattern.
And it's a pattern with intent.

So. . . . while it may seem
extreme to label the prank
call to the hosptial as
intended abuse. . . . . . . .
to me, the whole genre of
catching innocent people
up in a scenario that the
innocent person did not
begin their day hoping to
be in. . . . . at least borders
on abuse.

Perhaps when Kate was
admitted to the hospital,
there should have been
a corporate training session
or at least a memo on how to
handle inquiries and what
procedures were in place
with the immediate (royal)
family, regarding contact.

All of this is hindsight.

I don't claim to have answers.
All I'm left with is a profound
sadness for all innocent
people who proceed unknowingly
into some predator's lair. "
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Reply #22 - 12/09/12  4:37pm
" "It is not the first time the station has been condemned. In 2009, the Australian Communications and Media Authority imposed a licence condition for five years ordering 2Day FM to provide increased protection for children after a 14-year-old was attached to a lie detector test and admitted to being raped live on air'

That is a quote from the article in The Telegraph. I find that equally or even more disturbing. So apparently that radio station has made public embarrassment and humiliation a common practice. The way to handle media that behaves irresponsibly is to not listen or watch them and to encourage others to do the same. As i keep saying, when they start losing money because their audience vanishes, they will either fold or they will learn to do things differently. It is a very sad state of affairs that human suffering has become a source of entertainment for some people. It doesn't have to be that way but will remain that way until we decide to stop listening or watching the media that supports that kind of programming.
And 'it was only a joke" is THE common mantra of all abusers. "
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Reply #23 - 12/09/12  5:37pm
" From the Telegraph:

"""""

On Sunday, the station’s owners refused to apologise for the incident.

Instead, they suggested that Mrs Saldanha may have killed herself because she suffered from depression – a claim denied by her family and friends – and said the hospital should “do its homework”.

Sandy Kaye, a spokesman for Southern Cross Austereo, which owns 2Day FM, said: “No one has looked at the hospital; it is quite easy to blame us. The hospital were very quick to get their statement out. It is much sexier to attack an Australian radio network without having done your homework to find out how much responsibility we actually bear.

“I don’t want to shift the blame. It [the prank call] is much sexier than the issue of depression or talking about what led someone to a suicide … The Australian industry seems to sit quite fairly behind us. It was only supposed to be a harmless prank.” """"""

Aside from the use of the word "sexier" to describe an attitude which I find appalling use of English, the ongoing debate around this disgusts me for other reasons.

So what if she was depressed? People become depressed for a lot of reasons. They are entitled to keep working and be supported at work. It's a reason to take greater care and have more sensitivity in making broadcasting decisions because you can never know how susceptible your victim is going to be.

And yes Learned, that article is correct. The show's hosts had a fourteen year old hooked up to a lie detector and quizzed her in front of her mum. When she revealed the rape they kept broadcasting and went on to ask if that was her first time. The station has retained extremely controversial "shock jocks" after other stupid radio stunts and insults. They thrive off controversy.
http://www.news.com.au/national/rad...

This station knows full well that it hurts people. It has done it in the past and it makes an active decision to retain the staff who do it. I've been hearing about it in the media for a long time. Shame on us Australia for listening to them. "
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Reply #24 - 12/11/12  11:11am
" Okay, the prank call was stupid, but I don't believe it was the cause of the nurse taking her own life (that she did is still not determined, but likely). Number one, she only answered the phone and passed the call to another nurse who gave out the information. The hospital did NOT discipline anyone in this incident and the Royal family made no complaint. SO...there was no public humiliation, no one even knew the name of the nurse until AFTER she died. She probably DID suffer from depression, it is not always obvious to family and friends, I speak from recent, personal knowledge. A person that will kill themselves will not generally do it due to one isolated incident in their life. I feel absolutely awful for her family, there is nothing that compares to losing a loved one to sudden, traumatic death. "
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Reply #25 - 12/11/12  5:51pm
" I am personally tired of seeing people play ridiculous, embarrassing , and hurtful pranks and then pleading innocent by saying it was a joke.
That is a completely B.S. excuse. It is not a joke - it is a bullying tactic to intentionally cause embarrassment &/or harm. People who enjoy doing this to others are nothing more than bullies who are feeding thier iwn narcissistic need to prove thier ability to control others by turning them into thier personal victims. It is a form of cruelty which unfortunately is considered acceptable by many in what is a narcissistic society. "
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Reply #26 - 12/11/12  7:19pm
" Renewed when I first heard about this, I kept wondering what would be so embarrassing about telling the media that one of your patients is fine, and wondering even more how could it have been embarrassing or shemful enough for anyone to kill themselves over, but here is the thing I never heard the call that was broadcast. It could have been set up to mock the nurses response. And I think the nurse that took her life is the one that actually talked to the dj's although the first nurse passed on the call. Point being that even if she was depressed, being humiliated, and probably mocked was just the catalyst she needed to push her over the edge. I think it would help if we could listen to the actual conversation that was broadcast. Shock jocks luuuv to mock and be sarcastic, (like my ex) to the point of absolute cruelty (like my ex). A person who is vulnerable and easily shamed or embarrassed and who is also depressed can be pushed by public humiliation and embarrasment into either suicide or the opposite, murder or murder/suicide. Remember the college student that jumped off of a bridge after a taping of his sexual encounter with a man was spread over the internet? And that was not by a shock jock, that was by his roommate, someone he probably thought he could trust. Imo there has to be consequences for those who initiate such acts but so far they seem to be given no consequences. Since the suicide of that student, my state has made it a third degree felony to video tape and profit from taping someone in a place of a 'reasonable expectation of privacy" such as a public restroom. However, I haen't heard of any cases that have actually made it to court and the perps punished. an example would be the two models from Sweden? I think that were videotaped in their apartment, in their bathroom by their landlord. As far as I know, nothing has legally been done but I don't think he broadcast it. When that law actually starts being enacted and the perps actually go to jail, things may begin to change but for now abusers who publically embarrass and humiliate get away with it and sometimes with murder (suicide) by proxy. "

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