Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

I'm sorry can you correct your grammar?


-sweatdrop- I can't understand what you are saying.
"i feel better after yesterday because wiv my ex i have had so many thing i have wanted to say but he has still had a hold over me because i was scared that we would get into a conversation and he would manipulate it so i been avoiding speaking my mind. "

'ts like three sentences in one x-x

I think the run on sentences are probably why you have 0 replies. they are very confusing. >_< sorry sorry sorry.

no sorry i cant correct my post. I just love being me. And i type fast on my phone so no time for comers or full stops. What if say for example i have to type fast because i am in danger of my abuser catching me posting ? All reasons should be taken into account really. So i wont be changing the way i type fast for personal reasons.

Hi Kaz, I don't think the other poster meant to offend you, but I see her point. I would love to give you advice, but reading your post is very difficult to understand and therefore very difficult to respond to. By all means, do not get caught posting something about him when there is a chance he may catch you. I would play it safe and only post when it is safe. Good luck to you and lots of hugs to you!

no i saw other posts on different peoples threads that would explain a lot needless to say i will be ignoring the other poster because of a pattern of the things they have posted which did not really seem supportive on here. But thanks for your reply and your approach as it was sensitive hugs x

That is awesome. I've often heard that healing is not a straight line, and your post really shows this. But ultimately, you are taking steps to your own happiness, and things are working out.

I know how you feel about not being able to share your feelings with him because he will just twist things around and make the topic about something else or whatever. I think it's powerful to be able to acknowledge our own right to assert and defend our own feelings--and it's sometimes a wash when it comes to communicating them to abusers though--because it's not like they usually hear us anyway (or care).

But, it sounds like you are healing, and that slowly, you are getting stronger. Kudos.

As for the grammar--some people have a harder time with reading than others. I worked on transcribing early modern English for my senior project--so tech talk and run on sentences are a walk in the park. Some people are more intuitive with reading, as well, and can tie in data better--some people need things to be very clear and linear. But my feelings would be a bit hurt if someone asked me to correct my grammar too--even though I know we all have different learning styles and types of intelligence.

Kaz, you seem to be drowing so much, in a positive way. I hope you keep it up! You are worth so much more than anything this man can or will ever give to you or your daughter - you are more powerful than you will ever know!

As for the grammar, well, I get that sometimes its difficult to read (I cant understand text speak - at all!) but hey ho. Im sure Tropical didnt mean to be so critical. You keep posting and, if people cant read it, or dont understand your post - they can choose to ignore it. But again, I really dont believe she meant to be hurtful. Take excellent care of yourself

Grammar aside......

I left my husband (5 or 6th time now???) and have found it really helpful to email back in forth instead of talking on the phone. He always overpowers me when he feels threatened, cuts me off, raises his voice and "gets inside my head" and I find myself tongue tied. Also, all the calls end up as arguments because we just constantly REACT to eachother instead of thoughtfully responding. I can only control myself, but I find it difficult not to just react when he is yelling, screaming, manipulating, insulting, pouring on the guilt, etc. and I end up not representing myself well: strong, having loving intentions (no matter what he says), being thoughtful and intelligent. So when we email, it forces him to listen to me because he has to actually read my message and can't "block me out" whilst talking on the phone. I feel that I am being heard and am not pressured into saying things I don't want to say or don't really mean. I can read his emails and take an hour or a day to respond after thinking about them and making good choices as a response. He tried to say he would not email me, but I just stopped taking his calls for a while and he could not help himself -- you know how control-a-holics just HAVE to talk to you when THEY want to - he could not help himself and HAD to use the emails if he wanted to communicate. Negativity is not overcome with using negativity. It is overcome with positivity, or loving intentions. You will feel much better about yourselves, ladies, if you do not sink to the abuser's level and take the "eye for an eye approach". And believe me, I have turned the other cheek so many times my face is red. But I know that I feel "authentic power" when my intentions are with love (even if I don't feel love for him or I am angry or whatever). Perhaps I still hope to "lead by example" and have a "pipe-dream" that things will work out in my heart. Believe me, I have a lot of anger, but I feel a lot better about myself and the situation and feel stronger after I express how I feel when I do it with love intentions and honesty in my heart. Then there is no argument. And I know that I have given 110% to the situation. It cuts out a lot of drama too, which when we participate in drama, we just drag ourselves down. Much love and light and support to all of you! xoxoxoxo Claudia