Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Hey, I came across this when gathering evidence for my child custody case. I was actually typing at my laptop as it happened. He thought I was doin the finances. IDK what made me do this at the time but sooooo glad I did. Anyway, thought I would post it so those who arent sure if they are in an abusive situation or not can compare notes. I know it helped to remind me I never want to live that way again. Unfortunately I have to consider it if he gets custody of my kids. Crazy huh, I'd rather take the abuse then have my little babies be stuck with him with no one to protect him. So sad, PRAYING and begging God that we are truly out, truly and completely out.

(ok some background, my estranged H was napping, it was time to go to midweek church service. I went to wake him up to tell him it was time to go. He was supposed to go to church then he had a night shift to work that evening.)


6:15pm Go to see if Brian is awake. I knock and call his name. I turn on light when he doesn’t wake up and I tell him its 6:15. He asks again what time it is and I tell him its 6:15. He says he set his alarm but it didn’t go off/ I get a [pen] and leave the room. I come back approx. 5 mins later. Room is dark. Brian is sleeping. I turn on light and ask if he is going to midweek. He says I woke him up at 6:18. I ask if has still going to midweek. He says it was already 6:18 when he woke up and that he would be late. I said he wouldn’t be that late because it takes 40 mins to get there. He said but church starts at 7pm and that he was planning to go. I said for him to let me know if he wasn’t going because then I could go. He asked if I would still go even though by that time it was between 6:20 and 6:25. I said that I would still try to go. He asked what would I have him do. I asked him again to let me know if he wasn’t going so I could go because I felt if one of us didn’t go then we were staying home for nothing. He didn’t respond. I left the room and he came into the back room approx 1 min later. He said he didn’t want me accusing him of anything and that he set the alarm but it didn’t go off and that I woke him up at 6:18. I asked him to not be rude and he said he didn’t want me thinking bad about him. I told him that I didn’t accuse him of anything but that I just wanted to know if he was going to church or not so that I could go before it got even later. He said I did accuse him of not wanting to go ad that his alarm didn’t go off. I said I never said he didn’t want to go but that I wanted to know if he wasn’t going. He said “ exactly” and that I was accusing him because I said he wasn’t going. I said I didn’t have time to argue with him and I walked away. He said maybe you should go to church because you need it. I turned around and looked at him and he said, no I mean it. You are not even listening to me right now. I got ready and I left. I opened the garage door and started backing out. Brian came out and told me to wait. I asked him just to call me because it was already late. He asked me to stop. I rolled down the window, he said that he would leave and he didn’t care if he was late for work and that I could stay here. I told him no, he said I should go and that I wanted him to do what he said already & that I wasn’t going to stay home while he left to go wherever and then was late for work. I told him just to stay home with the kids. He said that he would go to church and that I could stay home, and that he would be late for work. I asked him if it was some kind of threat to be late for work and that I would go because he said I was the one who “needed” it and had the problems. I continued to back out and as I rolled up the window he said that he was the one who was trying to help me. I told him I would be home by 9pm.


I got home at 8:53. Brian was sleeping. At 9:00 h got up and watched TV in the living room. I was in another room. At 9:02 he came in and said hi. I said hi back. He asked if I had anything to say. I told him no. he said ok and that he was giving me the opportunity to talk to him and if I didn’t want to say anything then “ok. He asked if the kids took a nap. I said no. he asked what time I got to church. I told him 7:07. He asked if I was speeding. I told him no that I went between 70-78mph. He said he found that hard to believe. I asked him where I could find a form I needed from SS. He said he would have to get it. I said he could tell me where it was at and I could get it. He said he would get it to me. I asked when. He said tomorrow. I asked him what time, he said when I wake up. I said ok and got up from the table. He followed me and asked if I was going to speak or just be rude to him. I didn’t say anything I got my shoes and keys while he followed me. He said he guessed I was just going to be rude and ignore him. I told him I would be back. He said what about the kids because he had to go to work.
I said he could call me and I would come back and that I wouldn’t be far. He followed me out the door and said that it was funny because I was the one that had gone to church and that he guessed it didn’t help. I walked around the corner. Brian came in the Honda and drove by and said “hello the kids”. I turned around to go back home and he said “that’s what I thought” I got home, he was driving away. I closed the garage and came inside. Approx 3 mins later the garage opens again. I go into the backyard until he leaves. He calls me on my cell and asks where did I go. I told him I was home and I could hear the kids and that they were ok. He asked where I was at again. I told him I was home. He found me in the backyard. He said he didn’t want to leave the way hw was leaving. I told him then don’t leave that way. He said it wasn’t up to him. I asked why not. He said the only way for him to leave better was if we talked. It was 9:25. I asked if he wasn’t going to work. He said he was going to work. I said I didn’t want to talk because he was being rude. He said he was rude “because I didn’t say anything” to him. I said I didn’t say much to him since I got home because he insulted me more than once. That when I had left and my back was turned and I was walking down the block that he insulted me and I said that he even got in the car and drove just to insult me. He said he didn’t insult me. I said it was insulting after he said “hello the kids” and I turned around he said “I thought so”. I asked what was he trying to imply, that im a bad mom or that I left the kids when he was the one who really left them by driving away from the house with the doors unlocked.(I relocked the front door when I got back home) He said I had just left and he had to go to work. I reminded him I said he could call me when he was ready to leave and I would come right back. He said I didn’t say that. I told him that I did. He said he didn’t hear me then. I reminded him he was following me to the door when I said it and asked how he didn’t hear .I said that is why I didn’t want to be around him or talk to him because he just kept being insulting and denying things and I have to spend time “proving” things & I dint have time to argue. He walked away saying he wasn’t the one arguing and other things that I didn’t hear that well. I stayed in the backyard. He left. I got a text from Maureen and I started to text her back. Brian called twice at 9:28 and 9:29. I “ignored” the call until I was don’t with my text then I called him back. He didn’t answer but the garage opened again. He came and shut the door to the backyard. He came back again and opened the door and said “hey I was trying to call you”. I interrupted him and told him I was on the phone and I had called him right back and showed him my phone records that I had called him at 9:29pm. He had the SS paper in his had and said he was calling me to let me know something about it. I told him he could have let me know that over the phone or could have told me in the morning. I told him to go to work and if he came back again that I would leave. He said he was going to work. I shut the door back and he left. He called me again at 9:33 Bree was awake and crying. I was changing her diaper and putting on her pj’s. Brian said that wasn’t how he wanted to leave. I said then why did you. He said it wasn’t his fault. I told him I had to go and said I would talk to him later. I hung up. He called back at 9:34. I told him he was crossing the line by calling and calling. I told him he could wait 30 mins or whatever and I would call him back. He said ok. I said bye and hung up.

CURRENT TIME 10:42PM


I called him back at 10:52-no answer
Called at 11:15-no answer
Posted on 08/02/12, 11:02 pm