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Wolves in sheep's clothing...
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I was out of work almost 2 years, lived with abusive ex-husband. I got a job, thought I met a wonderful man thru work. Within two months we were signing a lease, living together. Thought I finally found love but then...
One month into the lease he says he wants a "living arrangement." I didn't sign up for that. I was deeply hurt but moved into the spare bedroom. We still had sex off & on. I wanted to leave but he begged me not to, said he valued me as a friend, didn't want to lose me. I felt played but I still tried. Neither of us work where we used to, fired for stupid reasons. I still loved him, I tried. He's not a talker. Details, nice things, arguing most times were via text on his part even if we were just a room apart. I tried emailing my feelings, showing ways that I loved him. He offered me the whole world when we met and then reneged. I'm out of work 3 weeks. I was still paying my share. He seemed OK with that. Then I get a nasty text that I didn't pay a $26 water bill. I was out with friends. I didn't go home as the texts were so nasty, calling me psycho B, liar, thief, etc. I begged him to stop. Yes, I shot back some angry texts too. Then he says (of my long dead mom): "I bet she hated your ass before you were born? WTF? I came unglued. It's the worst thing I've ever heard and I've been thru & heard a lot. This is just within days of me emailing that he's not what I want, I think he's great but I'm not totally getting my needs met anymore and I need and deserve that. A friend of mine gave him a job, yet it's like I had nothing to do with that. My friend liked him & hoped he'd take better care of me than "the others" have. I have no family, a few friends, $20 to my name. So he says he'll throw out my useless thrift store crap or pawn it. I can't go back. I think the texts are enough with a lack of job for me to get out of the lease. Either way I'm out but still feel very destroyed. He seemed to be my "rescuer" but to me now he's just another abusive piece of crap. He never hit me, never called me names until now. Not sure what else to say. Sorry it's so long but I'm highly distraught... Posted on 07/06/12, 10:45 am |
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I'm sorry you're in pain.
You mentioned a friend. Can that friend, or another, go back with you, to get your things? Sorry this turned out this way. Be careful and take good care of yourself. 
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Not sure what friend would want to go there. I know he works nights, but won't know his PT job schedule except for tomorrow.....I'm gonna try to grab some stuff if I can assuming he hasn't changed locks, etc.
I will leave alot of furniture behind but get what I can while I can. Yes, I'm heartbroken but already see the truth. He never laid a hand on me, told me he was better than my former abusers but as the emotional abuse article reads, sometimes the unseen scars are the hardest to heal.
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Not sure if it was right but....
I sent his mom a FB message about the awful things he said about my dead mom. Maybe she won't care, maybe she'll think "geez, again" if there's a pattern (which I suspect there is) I also messaged a former GF of his. I assume she went thru something similar. I may be wrong to lash out that way but I'm deeply hurt. I don't care if they respond. Probably a good thing my cell phone is dead. For now I'm avoiding my email & FB but eventually i will need to face it.
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How long have you lived together? If you have lived there long enough, it is ILLEGAL for him to kick you out or sell your things without eviction notice of at least 30 days.
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We signed the lease this April & it runs thru next April. Both our names are on it.
He seems aware of the 30 day thing which kept coming up in his texts. I can't take much with me. I'm out of work & broke. Driving there is about 20 mi RT. I will leave much behind. Given the nasty texts and being jobless, hope I have a good case on not staying there or in the lease. He said he'll take me to court. It's all scary but needs to be done.
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