Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Thanks Ilene, you were comforting and truly understanding as always.You have been one of the biggest support I had during the tough phase.Please share the Clarifying Index card as I was unable to find it. What you said about leving their abuse in our head was like hitting the nail on the head. Yes, I have become more and more confident. I am happier and their are no longer the lows that I used to feel when I was with him. The backside, I don't think that I will be able to clean all my head with from the crap I have been through. I can move on, be happy and positive. But I will always remember what happened, what I went through..Though it made me stronger and happier, it was still the toughest phase of my life.

Rachel, DKbraymond..Thanks a lotttt for sharing your story..Made me feel I am not the only one.I do not care any more what happens to him...But great to know bad things do happen to good people and good things do happen to bad ones....

Lifebutno, Utterpain, Thanks for understanding what I am being through.It really helps.

Jillie, Thanks for those hard questions..Below are the honest answers to them as this is the only place I can be truly open and honest.

If this man has been out of your life for over 4 years, then why are you still beating yourself up over him?
Yes, he has been out of my life for 4 years but he was in my life for 6 years.6 long years of begging, crying..I have even touched his feets just to forgive me for the mistakes I never did. He flirted with girls infront of me and then I was shouted at for making a scene when I started crying. He took all my friends, called EACH one of them, made them meet him and today they are in contact with him ( I broke up with all of them except one who refused to meet him), so for me four relation ended and not one..I know it was an eye opener to see my friends telling him what a beautiful fiancee(at that time the wife was fiancee) he has. But it was really really too much to take. But I always told myself, HE WILL PAY ONE DAY. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. Reading the success he got, really pi**ed me off...As I started doubting every thing.I am true believer of God and I believe what you do you pay in this life. So the pain I faced and the success he got, what does that say??
But after reading all this realized that God has his own way of working, I should not judge. I Should just let God do the justice because whether I feel something is wrong or right, HE sees the bigger picture and is fair to all.

Do you realize that you are abusing yourself FOR him?? And he isn't even around?
Yes, I do...Noone can understand the abuse they are giving to themself except the one who has been abused and have got out of it.I am not doing this to pain myself.Dailystrength had been like a family to me, where I could just vent and know I am not being judged but only being wrapped up in arms of every one who had been there and have been through this pain. Since I know I was abusing myself for him, I looked for stopping it. Over the weekend I met with my sister and told her everything, cried like hell....She just said one thing - Isha, God has his own ways of balancing things out.Let God do his job and you just trust HIM and know he everybody pays for their sins. So just focus on what you got once you got - you are free from the pain that he would have caused you.So you know God loves you and is fair to all.Today, I am feeling back to happy me and not bitter for what he got.I don't care anymore.

Why do you feel like you don't deserve to have the happiness you now have??
I started doubting what I went through, was that real.If yes, then why is God giving him success and gave me sooo much pain.So started questioning if God is trying to tell me that I got it because I deserved it (her wife did not because she doesn't). But I realized that when I was with him, noone knew what I was going through. So, my focus changed to that God loves me that is why I not only got free from his clutches but am living a far more better life than I would have imagined..

Phewwww..To long a reply..Really sorry for that..But this place is like my Peacezone, where I am just me :-)

Sometimes it does seem like people who are not nice to us. Never get punish but people do reap what they sow

Remind yourself, hon, Abusers Never Change. Your ex is as evil as he ever was, now maybe he has a better mask. I assure you that the woman he is with will be abused. You may be 100% certain of that.

There was an article out recently that estimates that 10% of successful Wall Street workers are narcissists. So just because your ex is successful in business does not mean that he has sorted out his other issues.

Focus on what you have rather than on what you do not have. You have your freedom from abuse and that is priceless.

Hugs to you for better days ahead.

Grace, Wvartgirl..Thanks for the much needed supported. Yes, God has his mysterious way of working but you do pay for your deeds :-)