What is Physical Emotional Abuse
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is unlawful or wrongful....
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Moving forward From Abusive Past
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Hey all,
I was in a relationship for 3 years which was abusive - emotionally and physically. I got out of that relationship and I had been single for 2 years. I have just now met someone who is amazing and have started a new relationship with him...new being 2 months new! My problem is, getting over my past. (which I thought after 2 years I was) I do not think my new partner is abusive but I am having a problem committing and moving forward. I have told him about my ex being abusive but haven't gotten into much detail, I was just wondering if you think this is something I should be seeking help with on my own, or if I should be going into detail with my new BF about this. I honestly felt that after 2 years of being single and casually dating that I'd be ready for a relationship but it seems that there are some old wounds that still need to heal. Do you have any advice on how to overcome this? The biggest thing I feel is that I am afraid of ME cheating. Weird or what? This guy is actually amazing, we work great together, have a lot of similar interests, comes from a happy household and family, is very open and never questioned him being abusive, but I find myself not wanting to get too emotionally attached because there is a part of me thinking I am going to get hurt. I have a lot of male friends and I find myself very flirtatious with them and almost WANTING to cheat. It is the weirdest thing, but in my past abusive relationship, that is how I was feeling because I was getting hurt. How do I fix feeling like this, because I DO NOT want to cheat, I just have this feeling and cannot figure it out. I really like this new bf a lot and really want to put the time in effort into making things work with him, I just know I have a few obstacles to overcome and I need help doing this. Any feedback welcome. It's just so nice to know that you are over an unhealthy relationship but never wanting to make the same mistakes. It's amazing how old hurt still affects your future, but I think I know I am wanting to make a difference is a first good step towards happiness :) Posted on 07/28/10, 10:13 am |
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I would say proceed with caution! He's already admitted to act's of aggression.
Mine played hockey as well, however, it wasn't until much later that he admitted to me he got kicked off the (adult) team for breaking someone's nose. He never showed any remorse. In fact, he justified his actions. Anyway, there are some guys out there that are much better actors. You've already probably told him way too much about how you feel about things, and what you're looking for in a guy. An abuser will remember all those things and tell you what you want to hear, AND you will hear what you want to hear. As for my H he can produce tears at will, if the situation calls for it (usually in public only). That's something that took me a long, long time to figure out. As far as the over analyzing and fear of being the abusive one, well, I think that's completely normal. I do that when I'm terribly afraid of making the same mistakes again. Time, building confidence and self esteem will take care of those things. If I were you, I'd give yourself more time. A new relationship will trigger all those insecurities and reveal to you the things you need to address in yourself that aren't fully healed yet. I envy you that you're out and making a life for yourself, but if it were me, no men would be part of the equation for a very long time, if ever again. But that's me. 
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