Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

I have bipolar and was admitted to hospital on April 5th. I had to fight for the right treatment package, but I eventually got it. I got on great with my consultant and the ward management. But a couple of the nurses were paranoid about me because of some lies that a previous social worker had written about me, so although I saw the consultant on his own, I had to see the staff two at a time which I found intrusive a lot of the time. Anyway, I was allocated the most amazing named nurse, and every week she would spend many hours helping me.

She had a student in May and June and would go on endlessly about how she wanted to visit my apartment. I thought she was just being polite; I have an amazing apartment and would chat about it to everyone, and was pretty ill at the time. But then one day in July, she came in after a 2-1 and told me that she was serious about coming to my apartment, that 'we would see a lot of each other after I was discharged', and that she ws really proud of me. We used to hug already, but after that the hugs became more intimate and she was always telling other staff how proud she was of me, and going on about how she was going to come to mine and all this after my discharge.

I fell hopelessly in love with this woman. I was so happy, as you can probably imagine, but I made the big mistake of asking a male support worker what the rules were about staff and patients meeting after discharge, and i told little fibs to disguise who it was completely. He was ok initially, then suddenly decided weeks later it was 'abuse' and reported it to mnagement! Meanwhile, a nutty evil patient, who was obsessed with me but I didn't realise this of course, got it into her head that me and this nurse were 'more than friends' (nothing was going on whatsoever), and went to the management claiming all sorts, so the management came in heavy handed accusing me and the nurse of all sorts. I was warned that if the nurse had so much as mentioned coming to my apartment or held hands with me, then she would be instantly sacked, so I lied to protect her. She's a single mother with two children, and loves her career, plus she's the best nurse on the ward.

Then I was interviewed again because of the support worker's report, and to cover myself there, I took the advice of another patient and pretended I had had a 'friendship' with a female support worker that had gone a bit far and they were trying to force that person's name out of me to sack them, and I was like 'Sorry I came here to get better, not to get people the sack'. The managers were like parasites, not nice to me at all, let's put it that way. They bullied me throughout the whole process and treated me like I was guilty of a sordid affair or something, when I hadn't even done anything.

Anyway, then the bitch nutty patient added more allegations about me (but this time I wasn't allowed to know what they were 'for her protection'), the consultant turned against me, and I was chucked out the hospital all of a sudden, and I didn't get the care package I was supposed to get and was relying on. The whole time me and teh nurse had been banned from speaking so had been arguing about other stupid things. I was already having a breakdown and not sleeping. I tried to take my life four times, and ended up on a police cell station floor getting beaten and sexually assaulted by police women who THOUGHT they were teaching me a lesson for 'wast ing their time' (that's what the doctors told them) when in fact I had genuinelly been trying to kill myself. Since then, which is three weeks ago, my friends have been looking after me, and I have tried to start a relationship with a friend, but her parents have made her stay away from me now (she's a former alcoholic and drug addict and has bipolar too so they dont want her with anyone because she's newly recovered). I'm in a complete mess but can't get care from anywhere.

All psychiatric staff in the trust are banned from my address or from meeeting me off their premise, have to even phone me in twos and I can't even bloody hear them on speakerphone. The community psychiatric nurse treats me like a cretin, and the social worker not much better. They don't help me anyway. They take no notice of me. I'm now quite hypomanic, hardly sleeping, racing thoughts, doing inappropriate things, etc, and nobody gives a shite. All because I saved that nurse. Whilst she carries on with her life. What do other people reckon about this. I went to advocacy but the head advocate 'doesn't know how to help'.
Posted on 10/13/09, 10:10 pm