What is Physical Emotional Abuse
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is unlawful or wrongful....
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***Lost a friend over MY abuse!!!!
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Posted part of this earlier, but accidentially only cut/pasted part:( Here is the whole situation-----
WHile trying to get my life in order after 6+ yrs in an abusive relationship and FINALLY seeing the light at the end of the tunnel I shared with my closest "friend", someone I knew since kindergarden, that I was in therapy over the whole thing and that I was in the phase of not HATING and WANTING REVENGE on my abuser. She was less than pleased. She sent me an email about how I was an asshole and too forgiving and this that and the other thing and never to contact her again. I was hurt and shocked, I replied that I had NO idea why she was being so judgmental, but for me to invest so much energy in CONSTANTLY hating and trying to do mean things to my abuser wouldn't allow me to move on, as he'd always be on my mind... I told her that our friendship was important to me and so on... SHe NEVER REPLIED BACK!!! As far as being supportive during my whole 6 yr ordeal, she was mediocre at best. On one of my MANY breakups with the abuser years ago I went to my sister's out of state for Thanksgiving and I found out the MY PAL went out with my abuser to celebrate her engagement. This was very hurtful to me! She said that she didn't think I'd care cause i told her that I was OVER HIM. She would always tell me I was dumb for tolerating him, and she'd just walk away, he was horrible, etc, etc. But she HAD no idea what WE ALL know, and that is that the healing time is years and you are so damaged that just flicking a switch is impossible. I am so hurt as I would have done anything for this girl, and was a TRUE FRIEND to her during all of her problems and depressions. After 20 some years of friendship don't I deserve more?? I have taken pride knowing I am the BETTER person with a BETTER heart and she has no place to judge and I do know that she has issues of her own and the problem is HERS, not mine. But I just found out a few days ago that today is her wedding day and I feel hurt about her not caring enough about me to care that I am not there. we were so close for so many years... We haven't spoken in a year and a half. I sent her Merry Xmas texts and 2 bday cards just to show that I am the bigger person but of course got no response. Then when I found out she was getting married I sent her a nice email that said how I wish her all the best and even though we are no longer friends I want good things for her and for her to be happy. Again, no reply, not even a thx or smiley face!!! Everyone keeps telling me that she has always been a jealous, miserable person. I know that and I would NEVER be close with her again, but it just makes me mad/sad that I mean so LITTLE to this person and that in my greatest time of need, when I was getting over my abuser, she SHIT on me... Any advice or feedback would be appreciated, I am bummed:-( Posted on 10/10/09, 06:10 pm |
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I would say that you need to move on, we lose friends when one of the chapters in our life closes and another one opens. Maybe she wasn't meant to be in this next chapter of life, everything happens for a reason, look around maybe there is another best friend just waiting to blossom, one that is true and accepting of you for who you are:)
Hope this is helpful..we are not in control of everything in our lives..in fact very little do we have control over..mainly just our bladders I think LOL>. 
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This is one of the ripple effects of abuse. We lose some friends, we gain some others. I have to say that this person was only a friend because you'd known her for so long. But in reality, she was no friend. It's just another one of those things that you have to accept.
It's surprising how many people don't realize that hate is like taking poison and expecting the other guy to die. You obviously have figured this out, good for you. You don't hate him, or her, and thus can continue to move forward in your life... Hugs....
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It's sad when you realize a friend isn't good for you. The best thing you can do, I think, is to let it be and move on. You've put a lot of effort into trying to salvage the friendship, maybe a bit too much, but at least you tried. It is not your fault that things turned out the way they did. Shame on her for letting you down after all these years. You certainly didn't deserve to be treated in this way. Hugs and best wishes to you.
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