Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

"Tried to just be me once, but felt so scared"
Good for you for trying it once. Now, try it again, maybe it won't be quite as scary. Then try it again, and again! Eventually, you will notice yourself being yourself and you won't be afraid.
" I do all the house work, even shine his boots for work. I do all the cooking and errands. I please his in the ways I was taught to , but I feel like I do it out of fear."
When you are doing the things you mentioned above, try focusing on how much you love this man, and tell yourself you are doing these things because you truly love him. As before, if it doesn't work the first time, keep trying. I too am struggling with "who am I" but I notice that little by little I start remembering who I am. It only comes in short burst, but it gets longer each time. I am no expert, but, maybe, just maybe, this will help. Strength to you. I'm here if you need to vent.

I JUST separated from my husband, only three weeks.

Who am I? I have pondered that. . . What brings me joy? My list started with lots of I used to. . . ________, until he. . .______, now I just don't do that anymore. I made a list of things that made my spirit feel good, all of those things he squashed. It really floored me at his thourallness.

As I am raising three young sons I question a lot how much is too much? I was told not to do anything for them they themselves could do or I could teach them to do. I try to encourage their participation in household chores and "blessing the family." :)

I cannot imagine a new realtionship right now, but I don't think I would want to do anything for a . . . MAN. I have done so much and I can tell you forsure it makes me sick thinking about stroking anyone's ego!

I am concerned for you not knowing who you are and even contemplating a relationship.

I believe we all have a beautiful spark within us and you, we all need to cultivate that!

Blessings to you!
rainbowrose