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Sunday April 26, 2015

Anxious Stories

  • nothing good.

    Friday, January 9, 2009 | An Anxious story

    not doing so good right now.
    i got a call from my dr this morning. he said that my hcg levels went up, but they didnt double. so it's possible that i could be going through a miscarriage right now..but it could also be nothing. he's extremely worried that i could be having an ectopic pregnancy. im scared to death about all of this.
    i have to go into the doctor at 10:30 and they are going ...

    1 Recommendation

    4 Comments

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  • Panic attacks

    Sunday, June 24, 2012 | An Anxious story

    This is ridiculous! The past week all I've been having is anxiety then panic attacks. Today I woke up with so much anxiety and have had 2 panic attacks within 2 hours from another. I can't deal with this crap. As I'm typing I have such bad anxiety. Trying to breathe through it. Who am I kidding though? I've had these for 8 years and have tried so many different things and nothing has helped. I fe...

    1 Recommendation

    4 Comments

  • Hitting low points.

    Tuesday, June 26, 2012 | An Anxious story

    Yesterday I had a doctor appointment. I've never been there before so that gives me anxiety. My husband and son went with me (I don't go anywhere alone or drive). Before we left I felt the panic coming on. During the car ride there I felt it even stronger. The xanax I took before I left wasn't helping. I was thinking of taking another one but I wanted to try to control it myself before having to ...

    1 Recommendation

    4 Comments

  • Strange feelings toward men who like me?

    Tuesday, April 30, 2013 | An Anxious story

    Inspired by a story in friend's journal, I've decided to finally go ahead and start journaling more about the stuff that's been bothering me lately. Men here post-divorce, in particular.
    I have been together with this guy, C, off and on for a few months, mostly on.  Lots of ups and downs, mostly due to my emotions and reactions to him and the situation and myself, and that is what has got me...

    1 Recommendation

    10 Comments

  • Back to the Unknown.

    Sunday, June 30, 2013 | An Anxious story

    It is a long story, not one that I shall go into depth about, but one that has now ended - I say ended, but theoretically, only may be the beginning. 
    So I met Ilona, my current girlfriend, shortly after I split with my long term (3 year partner, Dani) 
    She is my best friend's, girlfriend's, older sister. Strange to say the least. Especially as Ilona is 25, I am 26. My friend is 32 and ...

    1 Recommendation

    7 Comments

  • Journal Entry for February 5, 2014

    Wednesday, February 5, 2014 | An Anxious story

    I tried to medicate myself last week with my husband's purscription Morphine pills. That ended up with me getting very sick and vomiting and then last Friday I ended up in the ER being taken by ambulance from my home after I passed out at my home. I learned that this was not a wise thing for me to do...but all the voices in my head kept egging me on to take the pills. I finally gave in and it ...

    1 Recommendation

    4 Comments

  • I am DISCOMBOBULATED with anxiety today

    Saturday, August 23, 2014 | An Anxious story

    Don't you just love that word? DISCOMBOBULATED. It sounds like what it is--your mind being all messed up with worry!
    I had what is called "limited" Medicaid in Virginia. It doesn't pay me anything toward medical bills, but it has been paying my MEDICARE PREMIUM for me, which I understand is more than $100 now.
    Well I was shocked and horrified to get a letter telling me I was turned down this year...

    1 Recommendation

    11 Comments

  • Anxious as can be

    Wednesday, February 4, 2015 | An Anxious story

    It's 7:05 a.m. I've been awake since 4:30. I wake up & realize I'm still here & my mind and body so don't want to be.  I took a half Xanax at 4:30 in hopes of going back to sleep. No good.
    He's been great the past 2 days. He's been kind, funny and thoughtful. He's given me my space. I should be glad of this. But experience tells me it won't last. I'm dreading & waiting for the ne...

    1 Recommendation

    16 Comments

  • Freaking out

    Tuesday, February 10, 2015 | An Anxious story

    I'm such a mess. Such a mess. I left only 4 1/2 hours ago & I'm so sad, so scared, so f**ing freaked out.
    I'm in a crappy motel 6 room. I wish I would have spent more for a better motel. It's scary cheap with scary people. Or maybe everything is just scary.
    I talked with an intake work at the crisis center. She rated me as in "severe danger" even though he has never hit me. I have an appt. to...

    1 Recommendation

    3 Comments

  • Day 6

    Sunday, February 15, 2015 | An Anxious story

    I have been blessed, truly on this journey so far. I am so lucky to have family and friends to help me, to have a crisis center that was able to see me the same day, and to have a faith in God that helps me when I am weak
    There are so many people who are able to get out, people who do not have the help I am getting. I am still struggling, still having so many emotions, still unable to relax, to t...

    1 Recommendation

    4 Comments