Phobia Support Group

On October 2, 2004, I went to the movie theater to see the movie Shark Tale. There were several posters there: Finding Neverland, Fat Albert, etc. However, the one that caught my attention was the poster for the film Seed of Chucky. I was so intrigued by this poster that I didn't even notice that Chucky was a doll and the names Chucky and Tiffany were forever ingrained in my mind. Well, I became obsessed with trying to find out anything about this Chucky doll (to the point of looking for Chucky titled films at the library when I was supposed to be researching a class paper and I was asking everybody what they knew about this doll (if anything.) Well, one night, I was flipping through the TV Guide when on the next page, there was a picture of Chucky. Well, I had my first panic reaction to Chucky. My heart beat like it was going through a heart attack. The next morning, the show Coming Attractions came on and one of the trailers was going to be for Seed of Chucky. Well, I flipped the channels until curiosity killed the cat and I came back to the end of the trailer. A very bad mistake indeed because I caught the end of the trailer, which, I thought, was the shadow of Chucky suddenly popping up against the back drop of lightning. Bayer aspirin, anyone? Well, I tried to flip through the TV Guide again, and I thought that it would be okay until I came across the doll's picture again by accident. So, I tried to tell mom, who was secretly annoyed with me (I could tell). She tried to tell me that she would've mistaken Chucky for a normal doll, and that it was the same technology behind the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz and she jokingly threatened to take me to the movie. Well, after I refused to relent, she promised me that I would never have to see the doll again. Well, I saw Chucky again that day actually, at the grocery store, except this time, it was on the cover of a DVD called Child's Play. I tried to convince myself that this couldn't be Chucky (his name wasn't in the title), however, my heart knew that it was. So, about a week later, Seed was starting to pop up in the newspaper movie showings and my parents noticed this. Dad jokingly threatened to take me to the movie and then he said that he wanted to show me something in the paper. I, afraid that it was a picture of Chucky, crouched up into the fetal position, much to Dad's horror. (In reality, he wanted to show me an article on the something-eth anniversary of Barbie, ironically enough.) Well, he and Mom went into their room, where I heard him say, "I don't want a crazy kid!" Hurt and scared, I never brought Chucky up again. Well, Chucky was affecting my sleep. I insisted on pulling covers up over my head (in a vain mind attempt to protect myself against the doll), resulting in looking like I had just been in a sauna bath and I insisted going to the bathroom several times a night (to avoid being alone in the dark). My parents took me to the doctor for this frequent "urination," and he said that it was probably due to the artificial coloring from soda. (So, I was forbidden from having red soda for awhile. Thanks, Chucky.) Anyway, my peers discovered my fear and they would relentlessly join in (with some of the teachers also, some in more good fun than others). I.e. some thought that I should've been locked up. Well, this continued for six years and ten months, roughly. I would try to avoid the flyers (after seeing two advertisements for the Seed DVD in the flyers once). I totally avoided the electronics section (which had been one of my favorite sections) and I took up internet shopping. However, my reactions were only getting worse. I almost tripped over something in the grocery store after seeing a DVD of Child's Play: Chucky's 20th Birthday Edition. I almost attacked a salesperson in Walmart after seeing a DVD of Chucky: The Killer Collection. Another Walmart salesperson stared at me like I was crazy after she witnessed me having a reaction to that same DVD. I, too, tried to get close to a DVD from a distance, only too fail. One time, I had a sinus infection and I looked at the horror section of Wikipedia (bad mistake). A picture of Chucky holding an ax with blood stains on his overalls caused me to pass out for ten seconds. One time, I was alone, when I was researching a psychologist who had done studies of the film series' impact of violence on kids and a picture of Chucky popped up. Well, the next thing that I looked at by accident, was our Santa Claus doll, who happened to have blue eyes, same as Chucky. Well, I tried to get up immediately, only to pass out into the seat, fear stricken. When I was researching the psychologist another time, another picture of Chucky popped up and I tried to get out of my chair, only to pass out and barely avoid having a head bunt with the wall. This next part is going to sound incredibly Jehovah's witness like, but I'll say it anyway. One day, I had a migraine and I happened to come across a picture of Chucky. I didn't have a reaction, and it wasn't due to my migraine. This is going to sound incredibly made up, but trust me, it isn't! The next day, my heart reaction was controlled, but my heart was obviously still bothered. So, I looked at pictures of Chucky and this little voice was in my head saying, "Worship me, and I'll take this phobia away. Go to church and act like you're worshipping him, but worship me with your heart." Could this actually be... and if it was... Well, out of frustration, I was on the edge, however the prospect of eternity with Chucky reaction vs. life with Chucky reaction was weighing heavily on my mind. Finally, I said, "Satan, you're incredibly smart... yet you're even more so incredibly stupid... Did you honestly think that I would worship you when you gave me this stupid phobia in the first place? Get lost!" I had been looking at Chucky pictures on eBay, so, I covered up my phone and I tried to go back to the home page. Well, my hand slipped and my reaction was back, full force. It was one of the worst reactions that I had ever had. It was a yellow box, with big red letters that spelled Chucky, and Chucky's flaming red hair and red eyes could only be outdone by his demonic smile. Pink sardonic teddy bears illustrated the sides of the box and rainbows decorated the bottom. Well, I screamed and almost threw my phone across the room, but I stopped myself. A month later, I talked myself into looking at the Wikiquote articles of the films. (Just quotes, remember?) Well, I took that gamble on my birthday, out of all days and in spite of myself, I was actually laughing at the funny lines of the film that were not spoken by Chucky. (Chucky's lines terrorized me, even if they were funny.) About six nights later, I had a dream that my phobia was gone, and when I woke up, it was. It took forever to retrain my brain (electronics section is safe, not dangerous, etc.). However, I eventually watched the film and in spite of myself, I actually enjoyed the first film. It was funny, smart and energetic. How did I get through this time in my life? Prayer. You're either saying, "I love prayer!" or "Ugh, I hate praying. Why did he have to say that?" Either way, it will help you trust me. You have to believe in God because trust me, he will do a great job of answering your prayers. Also, find a strong support network. My family still doesn't know that I know have an almost love affair with Chucky films. (I'm not 100% sure that they would approve and/or understand.) However, my girlfriend has been with me through this whole idea. She helped me during a reaction and recently, she even bought a set of the films so that she could watch them (after I stopped being phobic). I love her so much, but that's another story. Anyway, don't lose faith in yourself. You're not crazy. This can be helped:


Sincerely,

Someone who's been there
Posted on 06/12/12, 07:25 pm