Pet Bereavement Support Group

I'm so sorry for your loss of your precious Miss Pink. You did everything correctly. You were doing everything with her best interest in your heart. Sadly things turned out terribly but not because of you. You didn't have the ability to see in the future if you did things would have perhaps been different. You loved Miss Pink and she obviously loved you. You were both blessed with love. You did nothing wrong honey you must know that. With great love comes great loss. But even knowing how it ends you wouldn't give up one minute of sharing your life with wonderful Miss Pink. OXOX

Oh i am so sorry for you! It's not your fault-of course you thought that surgery would help her and we would probably all do the same. I know how hard it is to have another animal when you're trying to grieve for another. You almost feel mad at the one that's with you - which is unfair to them. With me it started that way and now i find myself closer than ever before with my Lukie. He's getting more attention now than i gave him before and i think it's because i think he's feeling the same way as i am cuz he went through it too and is grieving too. Miss Pink will be ok but you need to take care of yourself and Mr. Atticus!! I know you can! It will be ok! Deb

Thank you for the encuraging and kind words. Mr Atticus is really starting to be rather clingy himself and that is irritating to me because he was not like that before. I don't want to resent him. He is a sweet guy and has been with me longer than Pink was. But feelings are what they are so I am trying very hard to be more for him. But right now, I am overwhelmed. And am trying to consciously attend lovingly with Mr Atticus.

Oh my--this all sounds so complicated and feels so too.

Thanks again for your replies.

I speak to you from personal experience...Grief & Guilt...those 2 emotions are the 2 of the top 10 killers of our being, spiritually, physically and emotionally and should not be taken lightly as they can do you great harm.

I can only surmise that you took Miss Pink to the vet because she "needed" dental work. As a diabetic, if my teeth or gums become irritated or infected with bacteria, it could affect the heart and several other organs creating complications that could eventually cause death. I can only suspect that similar situations happen in animals. We take our animals to the vet because they need medical attention much like we take ourselves. I don't think, unless you had a crystal ball, that you would have ever suspected that your girl would not pull through this surgery...how could you???... particularly since Mr. Atticus did so well!

In 1994 a yellow male Tabby cat I had for 12 years who had grown up with my daughter, died of Lymphatic Cancer. My husband found him and 3 others in a rubble of construction waste in our yard right after they were born. His mother was this Grey mean feral cat that was always in our back yard hissing, growling and scaring me and my daughter. When I realized that these were her kittens and they were still alive and she had taken off, I was like...whoa...do you really want to do this? I brought all 4 of them in and bottle fed them for 3 months. I was able to find good homes for the other 3 but we kept the Tabby and we called him "Buster."

He was a character this guy...was always meowing at the moon until one night he got out and didn't return for 3 days. When he finally returned he was beat up pretty bad. It looked like he had gone through some barbed wire and the tip of his ear was gone. I put him in the tub and cleaned him up...he loved water because I had been running him under the faucet to clean him since he was a baby...I didn't know any different...and neither did he! After that incident, he never again tried to rush me at the back door to get out of the house...and he was the best darn cat pet I ever had.

About 6 weeks before we found out he had Cancer, I was on the phone sitting on the corner of my bed when he jumped into my lap and peed. I was horrified as he was a very clean animal, had never done anything like that before...and I could feel my heart sink...as I knew something was wrong. Within 2 weeks this boil like lesion appeared over his eyebrow. I immediately took him to the vet. They aspirated it, gave me some antibiotics ,ointment and sent me home. Within 4 weeks they were popping up all over his body and excreting blood.

I worked with a designer who told me they were curing Cancer in Germany and that I could get this serum which might save his life. For $600.00 I received this 2 oz bottle of liquid in a dropper bottle that came in 6 weeks instead of 2 and I started giving it to him right away. It was pretty amazing, the lesions started to go away and for 2 weeks no new ones appeared...I though he was getting better...then we had the 1994 Earthquake.

I had gone to bed that evening and he was in his usual spot in between my legs at the bottom of the bed. At 4:30am the Quake started and literally I was buried in my bedroom under everything that wasn't bolted down, now being a woman that was from St. Louis, I was scared to death as this was like nothing I had ever experienced. I could not find Buster for 3 days and when I did...he was a mess and covered in blood from what looked like a hundred new leisions that had come up overnight and exploded. I tearfully wrapped him up and drove him to the vet where he was euthanized and cremated.

You see by jumping up in my lap, he knew he was sick before I did. Maybe Miss Pink was sick too...with something the vet could not detect or determine that would have alerted them to complications from the surgery. These animals, they know long before we do, when it is time for them to move on. You did what any good pet owner would have done by providing a good home, preventative health care and plenty of love...nothing to feel guilty about...

Your going to cry and it is going to hurt for awhile, but crying is a cleansing process to remove the pain and eventually with the help of Mr. Atticus( because he is hurting and missing her too) you will both be able to move forward with a deeper bond of closeness and love that will guide you both to another animal that needs the love and attention that you so selfishly gave to Miss Pink.

Take good care of yourself and Mr. Atticus as Miss Pink is at the "Rainbow Bridge" with the rest of our dearly beloved pets and she would not want anything to happen to either one of you...L

Thank you, lalalini for sharing your story. I know I am not alone is these feellings but it has been a long long time since I have had to let a pet go like this.

Me too...it took 3 years before I could even consider another animal. Then along came this mini-pincher that was going to be taken to a pet store because he was to big to be a show dog. After that came the 4 year old Sheltie who had always lived outside in Vermont and was a stud dog that was being dumped ( he died last August from old age at 15) and last but not least came my Fillmore, a lab/chow mix that found me on a movie location in the town of Fillmore at 3 weeks old...he died last June at 12 years of age from Cancer.

I read your last sentence about letting an animal get to you like this...and I hear myself saying the same words last year. Here is the good news... I believe it is God's way of allowing us to realize the capacity of feelings that we are able to have for another being...human or otherwise.

Be patient with yourself as many awareness's ( I call them gifts) that will come to you from your experience. Be well...L

It was a week ago today that Miss Pink died--That the dicision was made to let her go. It has been a bad day for me. I have been having ctying jags interspersed throughout the day. I wish I had had her cremated instead of burying her under the tree. Some how, today especially with it raining and cold, thinking about her out in the cold is horrible. But I can't undo it now. Thanks all for your kind replies.

You will see in the Spring when all of the flowers start to bloom that it was no mistake to bury her under that tree. You will have a beautiful environment surrounding you and her where you can go and visit "anytime."

Nature is the way of the Universe that brings balance to our souls everyday when we step outside of our door. Her body is all tucked in under the blanket of earth and her spirit stays warm in your heart.

Across the miles I am handing you the box of Kleenex...keep crying whenever you have to... as you are on the mend.

She was a "beautiful" cat...and look at the beautiful flowers! Thank you for sharing it with all of us.

Love surrounds you...be well...L

What a beautiful way to put it.

I am so sorry for your loss. But Miss Pink is fine, and worries for you now. Have faith. Know that she is fine - and remember that eveything you did came from love. Yes, it'll get better ... as soon as you remember that you are an amazing and caring friend & owner. Other cat's should be so lucky.

Get Atticus another friend ... and change the life of another cat. The love you share with them is something most never know.

Chin up girlfriend. You gave a wonderful friend a beautiful life.