What is Personality Disorders
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Because of the inflexibility and pervasivenes...
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bpd grrr
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I guess this is post is to reach out to others again i did use to post alot i go back wards n forwards ill be on here alot for afew months or i disappear im only on here now cuz i got two comments that i finally decided to comment. right now i dont want to know anyone really im thru with dealing with people
im starting to really hate humanity but yet im a emotional wreck i long to rid myself of human emotion but yet im subjected to this personality disorder that makes cry out of the blue but yet i dont dare strangers see me cry im angry one minute then clarity arrives n ill calm down n be fine then ill just want to die again n this cycle go on for hours. the only human contact that still exists in this world is my ex boyfriend whom lefted me a month n a half ago his reasons that he wants to be alone he has despression but cant deal with my bpd hes my best friend i hate other people apart from him yet i can hate one minute then the next love him. he is a gentle men at heart but hes sees me out of pity and worry that i may be dead i killed our relationship n im killing the friendship as well he doesnt love me anymore its my falut i mocked him all the time in the relationship like to test him constantly sometimes i didnt even know i was doing it. friends are people who change n high school friends are just that i dont connect well with people i cant stand fake people and most people are fake. im holding on to this boy i want his comfort and i use sex as a way to keep him by my side. Life is a waste of time no job cant find work my only happiness is to see him i read n play a shit load of xbox this is my life cant study no money it doesnt get better happiness is a illusion i really think maybe we are lucky to be like this to see that the world is not full of horizons for everyone some of us are meant to die inside everyday we hold on to a attachment just so we dont accept it i could go on like this im going stop cuz i know this can be triggering for people n i am sorry dont tell me things are going get better they dont the point of this is post is actaully i have no idea anymore your welcome to disregard it. Posted on 11/03/09, 10:11 pm |
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I'm sorry. You said alot of things I relate to...sometimes the only comfort is knowing we are not alone on here. I hate thinking of others in this kind of pain, but I am grateful for this site. At least it is not so utterly lonely knowing there are others who understand. I have been feeling alot like what you said in your last paragraph about the world not being full of horizons. I feel like there is nothing in this life for me but pain and turmoil. I just keep going because I don't want to hurt the people I love. 
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probably just to vent my sweetie lyk u shudd sometimes we all need to vent n im not gonna say its gonna get better bc honestly i dont think it might i feel lyk u sweetie hatin humanity n everything hugs
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thanks for the replies to waverly im glad you have people that you dont want to hurt it can be easier when you have people behind you.
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I know how you feel. I'm starting to think there is no hope for those of us with BPD. It never seems to get any easier.
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