Personality Disorders Support Group

I dont have a reason either, ive had no traumatic experience and like you I have a really supportive family.
Its a bit annoying really because sometimes when i am down it would be nice to have something i could blame it on hehe
xxx

I have it for no apparent reason. I've read thing were they think genetics has something to do with it (for the random cases). Either one of my parents has it (I would choose my mom) or the mixture of the two parents genes yielded the outcome of the person developing BPD.

I never learned how to challenge my emotions. My dad was emotional abusive, well more so neglectful towards me. He was physical there but not emotional there. I had a great mother though so don't get me wrong. When I was 15 I got addicted to the internet and started meeting men from online and then at 15 was took to a hotel and raped twice but a guy I met. After that was in and out of inpatient treatment four time and outpatient twice. Been through to much counsling therapy crap, being on and off medication. I started self-harming when I was 14. Being messed over by more then enough men did not help either. I was used for sex more then enough times in my life to just curl up and die. From there things just got worse with jobs and school. I dropped out of High School and I did go and get my GED. But up untill now everything has just been a blurr and getting worse. I'm WAY to hard on myself. So over all, like I said, I never learned how to handle my emotions and that lead to all the great events that happened. I'm going to be starting a DBT therapy group in about a week, so hopefully that helps me out. On Weds I'll be getting back on medication. So hopefully that will help my depression and my horrible moods. Stay positive everyone! BPD can be beat!!! :)

A large part of the cause of BPD is genetic. One theory says that it is caused by a combination of genetic factors that cause you to be very emotional and an "invalidating" environment in childhood. That invalidation certainly can come from being abused, but can also be caused from something else in your environment that made you feel like your emotions were invalid or not acceptable.

I know EXACTLY how I developed my BPD.

But you guys are also forgetting...BPDed people...are HIGHLY emotional!!! That doesn't mean that you cry at everything. If you have trouble expressing your feelings, or you've never really been comfortable sharing them....THAT itself could, in my personal opinion of course, cause the development of BPD. Considering that pretty much ALL BPDers have issues regulating their emotions in a healthy, comfortable way.

Genes would also play a key role in it...but I think that even if you had a great childhood, there is ALWAYS something that we dismiss as a potential factor in the development of something. :)

i thought i had a great family it was a lie i believe bpd developed thru the angryer i bottled up and the fact that i didnt face and believe i had despression at age 13
also bullying i say is a major part and of emotional black mail from my family neglience n been manipuated all my life
tho i wasnt phyiscally abused as such i did grow up in a violent family environment more emotional theres more to it of course just the main points

I was told I am an atypical bpd. My childhood involved me being a perfectionist and my brother being the family black sheep. He was always in trouble with the law, drugs and violence. I remember hearing yelling, swearing and physical confrontations all night. I'd bury my head under my pillow and turn on my little tv to white noise just to drown it out. I just figured if I could be perfect, my parents would have less to worry about. When I was 13, I started to have problems at school. I went to a catholic school. One day, I got my period in class and everyone found out. None of my friends would lend me a sweather or something to cover my pants. Everyone in the school found out and teased me mercilessly. High school was a bit better. All the while my parents were busy with my brother. I had a couple relationships where the guys walked all over me. I went to a few parties and drank, and was...well...let's just say I was hurt again and again. Somehow I made it through high school and then went to university away from home, and had barely enough money to eat once a day. I became reclusive and avoided social contact. The psychiatrist I saw 7 years later told me that was probably my first depressive episode. It wasn't until the demands in my life exceeding my coping that I really started to get into trouble. Cutting, anorexia, drinking, 5 suicide attempts and hospitalizations. It's been a rough ride.

My family is fairly normal. No violence, drinking, etc. I am coming to an understanding though that for me it was a case of a mothr who loved us but was not really emotionally available. She also used to give me the impression "you shouldn't feel like this or that". I don't blame now, as I know she couldn't help herself, so really she did the best she could. She is on medication & I now realise she has battled all her life. My dad was there, but worked long hours on our farm. The invalidation idea...I can relate to that possibility. I now have a 20yo who just tried to OD after fight with her boyfriend and I worry as I couldn;t pass on coping skills to her if I haven't had them, & I also have an 11yo who is very emotional. But hopefully as I am learning for myself, I will be able to teach her what to do with emotions.

Thanks everyone for your responses. Very appreciated.

I hate to think that my parents could be the reason for me developing BPD. I really want it to be my fault because if they ever found out it was them they would just be devestated.

I think I just was born in the wrong place, at the wrong time, around the wrong people, on the wrong planet.

hahaha yea that's my theory for BPD

Even though I trained as a counselor, I stigmatized myself when i was diagnosed with BPD. I didn't understand how I was only just diagnosed at the age of 27. One thing I have learned is that thinking about what-ifs and why I am the way I am usually make me feel worse. That being said, I am pretty sure my BPD came from a combination of my Dad's authoritarian parenting, in connection with a complete lack of empathy, as well as my Mom's severe depression. And both parents lacked social and coping skills. I love my Mom to death but feel a great deal of anger towards my father (Who has narcissistic personality disorder) for a lot of the manipulation he put the entire family through. Everyone in the family at one point or another has been on medication AND in therapy because of what he put us through. I think a big part of my cure will be in learning to move past the hurtful things he has done (including, just to give you an idea, spending my trust fund, disinheriting me and my siblings, pitting us in a custody battle against our Mom during the separation, and preventing me from having a normal childhood with basic choices and friends).