Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group

Oh I so know where you are coming from. We spent five years fighting the medication and over ten thousand dollars. After seeing yet another doctor who told me I would have to suck it up and learn to live with it like other families. Having nothing else to lose or gain we went down that path. It's not a cure but it is an improvement. In saying that I still feel guilty every day. Please try to find a good counselor, I understand the point of desperation you are at trying to hold it all together.

I waited years to put my son on medication. He was diagnosed in second grade and started medication in seventh. I tried many different things without seeing any change. Honestly I feel guilty for not putting him on medication sooner; it's made a difference (though I complain that it's not enough of a difference, especially since he got off Ritalin - but that's a different post). I find myself wondering if things would be different if he could have focused in school younger.

Obviously many of us are guilt prone; I know I am. We blame ourselves for using medication, for not using medication, for not being able to figure out how to best help our kids, etc., etc.

What a horrible place to be. It is one thing to make decisions for yourself, but for a young child. I am scared to death of the side effects that are listed on the medication. Just from reading the other posts the chances of something happening seems pretty high to me. My son displays such implusive behavior I am worried what will happen when he starts elementary school. I know legally they can't tell you to put your child on medication, but you know all of the teachers are saying it behind your back. I don't want his school experience to be negative. Do you feel like the school system supports your decisions and tries to work with you or are you made to feel like by not medicating your child your harming their ability to learn? What are some of the other ways they help your child to cope in school?

I was so with you too! But we have been on Adderall XR since Aug 24, we are on 10 mg now. He was before that suspended from Kindergarten for throwing chairs. But now he is such a different boy. He LOVES school now. is doing great on his work, and we also started a start chart, breaking his day into 6 time frames. The star it self is a reward. We make a hugh deal everyday of how many stars he can get.

I know the meds are scary, but as the dr explained to me, it is like a major race track when not on meds, totaly crazy, then with meds, it is like when they are lined up waiting for the race to start. And at almost 6 his tells me he likes the meds on school days. It helps him think. :) Hope this helps! God Bless.

Oh I know exactly how you are feeling. Our son was diagnosed at 4yrs old, but we did not put him on meds until he was 5 and in kindergarten... I struggled for a long time with the "medication debate"... I was worried that meds were going to drug him up, change my son, and soooo guilty for thinking/hoping that drugs would help him calm down. It made me feel like a bad mom for "not being able to handle it" on my own. He is only 6, and we've gone through 2 different dosage amounts of Ritalin and currently on 27mg Concerta. To be honest, I am still having a few of those feelings again, as we (his father, Dr. and I) are discussing increasing his dose to 36mg.

But, without the medication, I know that it is not only harder for us, but it is also harder on him. One thing that you have to expect and understand is that meds do not *eliminate* the behaviours/symptoms. They are only intended to make them more manageable... There have been days that I've forgotten to give my son his pill, and boy do I pay for it later that day! He is just off the charts when he doesn't have his meds. When he DOES have them, he is still the same boy; hyper, distracted, defiant, etc... all of the ADHD symptoms are still there, they're just.... different. I guess its a little hard to explain the subtle yet noticable differences. What I'm trying to say is that I no longer feel guilty about giving him medication to control his behaviour... I still feel guilty for other reasons (as rsnation said, we all as parents usually feel guilty), but at least I can take meds off of the list.

Regarding your question about diet, allergies, etc... That is a debated topic, and one that I don't know a WHOLE lot about. Some people swear by the Feingold diet, which is focused on eating and using natural foods or products (no preservitives, colouring, etc...) I could never follow/prepare the diet that strictly, but one thing that I really do believe makes a difference: red food dye.

If my son has a piece of red licorice, red candy, red fruit snacks, red juice, etc... I swear he is more hyper and off the wall than usual. I will try to find the site that I read it from, but I remember it saying that red food dye can have an effect on behaviour and hyperactivity. I noticed a huge change once we cut red food dye from his diet. We also buy juices with no artificial flavourings or colourings, and we try to limit the amount of sugary snacks he's allowed to have. Not sure if that makes a HUGE difference, but for us, every little bit counts.

It's hard not to feel guilty, or like you aren't doing enough.... I struggle with that ALL the time, especially when it comes to school. My son was sent home from kindergarten at least 10 times during the school year, and several other times from his daycare as well. And this was while he was on medication.... Unfortunately, medication for ADHD isn't always universal, and some people have harder times than others when it comes to choosing and finding the right dosage and brand of medication.... But I definitely think it is something to look at. If you are unsure, speak with his pediatrician and let him/her know what you are worried about. Get an assessment done, and get the definite diagnosis of ADHD. Doctors should be able to reassure you of your concerns.

Welcome to the group...

I am releived to see so many others have the same feelings of quilt, frustration, worry. I at times feel like my husband and I are in this battle alone. Our 5 year old is ADHD/ODD and it is a daily struggle (sometimes knockdown dragout fight) to get him to do anything. He is on Adderal(5mg), and his appetite has decreased. So far he has not lost any weight, is mainting same weight since he has been on it for the past five months. His kindergarten teacher takes the same medication for ADHD and is very understanding of his behavioral issues. Prior to that he was "kicked out" of daycare. I understand the stress and feel it daily when the bad notes come home or the phone rings and its the school. Work with your pediatrition and monitor appetite changes, insomnia, possible other side effects and alert them when you notice them.

I know exactly how you are feeling. My daughter was diagnosed at age 3. She has been under the care of a psychiatrist since then and has been on meds. She has a diagnosis of ADHD/ODD. The meds help the ADHD but the ODD can be very stressful at times. We started behavior therapy today. Over the summer my daughter was on Concerta and Strattera was added to her medication regimen. For the last month she has had numerous times spoken of suicide. This makes tears come to my eyes. To be a child and be so frustrated with life to the point that you don't want to live anymore is difficult. School this year has been a nightmare. It makes a difference if the teacher is on your side. Some teachers still don't understand ADHD children nor do they take the time to understand. The sad part about the whole thing is she is so smart and does outstanding academically it's socially that is her problem.