Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group

I understand your frustration, and I know everyone else here does too. I'm glad you found this support group - it really helps a lot to talk with others that truly understand what you are going through. You're doing all the right things though, and it's great that you have him involved with sports (that definitely helps them with all their extra energy, and helps them with routine, rules, etc too), and being his advocate through the schools will help him tremendously too. Just keep doing what you're doing and coming here to vent whenever you need to. I know it's helped me so much.

Thank you for the support. I just got back from football and he is starting already the smart mouth doesn't stop. Is there any relief is there any goal line to this continuous football game. I am in search of hope and maybe it will come in an hour when he is asleep.....maybe he will get up again and continue with the things he is doing. I appologized to him for the things i said to him this morning and asked him if we can have a fresh start. At the time he seemed to want that and now it is like nothing ever happened. I have went through him jumping out of his second story window when he was three to finding lighters in his bed even after he caught our last house on fire. Does this go on forever?

OH....the mouth! I can totally relate to having a lippy child. Keep your chin up. I have started to make my son EARN absolutely everything. Tv Time, Vid Games time, Everything that I think he may in anyway enjoy has to be earned.....with good behaviour. I am constantly reminding him that am the adult and he is STILL a child and NO he does not know it all. My son is almost 12 just started grade 7,VERY argumentative and WAY too witty and smart for his own good. He has also been diagnosed with ADHD and I recently removed him from his meds as I am concerned about the side effects being dangerous. I too have my son in football, I can not believe the difference the physical exertion has on his ability to not be as fidgety and hyperactive as usual. He Loves being part of a team and I have never known him to show more dedication to something. Is there any other things you can enroll him in that teach discipline? Taekwondo or a martial art maybe? I know it is hard to try to juggle your career, life and try to shuffle a child around to various commitments. I also reward my son with a membership to a inside skate park, it is pretty good leverage to get what I want from him. I also insist he has chores around the house, he is responsible for the dishes, loading and unloading the dishwasher. I also expect him to keep the main bathroom clean as he is the primary user of it. I think boys need to be taught to keep a clean house just the same as girls! Things are tough and it is a constant uphill battle with him. However I must say with constant reminders and a regular schedule of rewards and consistency with the chores and expectations, he is doing VERY well. Children need structure and they crave the limitations of boundaries to give them something to challenge and rebel against. I know and understand your frustrations as I have felt them too. Keep pushing forward and eventually you will see your hard work start to pay off. Just continue to love him, every child deserves someone like you who cares enough to reach out and ask for a little strength to keep going! Your a Great parent for recognizing when you could just use a little encouragement!! I send warm wishes and a big hug to you and your amazing child!!

BY THE WAY....I watched a CBC special on television the other night about a teacher in Saskatoon AB,who started a program with some of her students. She had them run on a treadmill for 20 minutes 3x a week. This physical exertion had MASSIVE effect on their ability to learn and function in a classroom setting with out feeling as disruptive and distracted. All students involved in the program gained a FULL grade and some had results of 400% improved comprehension. The student also showed an improvement in self esteem and self worth, giving them the ability to plan for a more positive future.

http://www.cbc.ca/national/blog/sp...

This is a link to a document on this news special. Maybe something like this type of program could be helpful!!

Once again CHIN UP! Take Care!

That program sounds very interesting, Keltonsmom! The kids in the US are proven to NOT be getting anywhere NEAR enough exercise, and even if it doesn't help the attitude, it will certainly improve the body and mind! It sure can't hurt!

I know when my little one (3) gets real crabby I turn him outside (I live on rural acreage) and he is much better after a few hours of chasing chickens and kitties! :)

However, joxified, I, like the others, can really relate! Having been through this once and now coming around for a second try, I find they have learned some things about what causes ADHD, but not much about what to do about it!

With both my son and already my gs, I have often said that they should have been Native Americans, because some tribes held the "contrares" as Holy Men!!! Not really funny, but an attempt to lighten a true situation....lol. Also, it tends to help me realize it is all perspective. I frequently think or even look back on the list of ADHD people who have achieved great things. Like Benjamin Franklin, Einstein, John Adams, Whoopi Goldberg (gee, who'd of guessed! ROFL!!), Emily Dickenson, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, even Rockefeller and Ford! etc, etc. In fact, almost all really famous people have had ADHD. It takes the imagination and creativity they have to accomplish the things these people did.

You know what I often wonder, is what their MOTHERS and FATHERS did to raise these kids, especially in older times. If you look, more recently most of the ADHD people end up as actors or sports figures. I'd rather have mine become a famous inventor or statesman, myself! ;)

I wonder if there are writings or information about these people's family life growing up or about their parents available anywhere??? Might be an interesting study!

Joxified! I feel what you feel. Just recently I totally broke down and cried for a couple of days. He is also taking Focalin XR 20mg/day, my son is starting to talk back to us, he doesnt want to follow rules anywhere and he thinks he knows everything, and when I tell him that if he really acts like he can live by himself, then he can go and be alone, he would always answer me "NO", and he is only 7 years old.

He also does act the opposite of what you ask him to do or not do. If you say " No Yelling " he starts yelling at you and tell you " I hate rules", " No rules".

We also did a lot of things like if he behaves well i n school he gets a $ and if he doesnt then we are sorry. If he does well in his homework, he also gets a reward ( because it is so hard for them to focus on doing their homework ). And then we tell him at the end of the week if he saved enough he can get anything he wants or buy anything that he wants. But honestly, it doesnt work all the time. Like this week, he was only able to save $4. And these are all because he does his homework, which means he was not behaving well in school.

But don't worry, look at the brighter side of life, Our children are lucky to have parents like us who loves them and willing to do everything to help them.

Cheer up and it will be Okay......God bless!!!






Keltonsmom is right! When my son was in 1st grade, as soon as the teacher sees the kids getting agitated, she takes them to the school's soccer field and she let them run for a couple of laps, and when they get back to the classroom they are ready to do their sit work because they are already tired of getting up all the time.

Now the he is already in 2nd grade, I totally forgot that. My son was diagnosed with severe ADHD and taking Focalin XR 20mg and I forgot that making him run a couple of laps helps him a lot. I think I will do that again, thanks keltonsmom, very good advice.

i have read your post and i know how hard it must be, i go through these things with my son and i havent really got any help yet, Hes 6 years old
I am still waiting to hear as he has been refered i have spent many days in tears myself.
I just didnt know what to do anymore, so i went to the doctors and explained everything.
Its massively effecting all our lives when he acts badly, i suffer with depression and fine it hard to get through most days.
I am not on medication as i really dont wanna go there but if things get worse i will have to go to my doctor.
My son isnt on any medication yet but im hoping once he has seen this specialist they will be able to do something to help us.
Maybe your son needs different medication it might not agree with him maybe its giving him bad side effects, go back to the doctor and see what can be done.
Try not to let it get you down, otherwise you will be like me ill yourself

I can certainly identify with you. I am sitting here crying too. I am so frustrated and tired.
My son is ten years old and just started middle school. He's struggling. I am struggling. Homework time is a nightmare!!! I cant handle the constant arguing. He is relentless. Simple tasks take hours to complete. Its only three weeks into the school year and I am already burned out. I find myself saying things that I dont want to say. I resort to yelling(which doesnt help). I feel guilty and I always feel like a failure as a parent.

I think some of these symptoms seem to be more ODD than ADD.
My son was ODD along with the ADD when he was very small but with behavioral therapy and an occupational therapist he has gotten much better. Good luck to ya, I know its hard.

I can really relate to all of this. I wake up every night thinking of tactics to use to help him have a good attitude! When our son gets home from school he has a snack/drink, then does a little homework which is hard right after school, but then if he does it with a decent attitude he can either play Wii--he love Mario Kart or Nintendo-he loves Nintendogs! He gets this privilage for 30 min. We also encourage him to go out and play or jumping on the neighbor's trampoline--FRESH AIR! He also has morning jobs he has to get done in 15 minutes: get dressed, make bed, brush teeth, dirty clothes to laundry room & breakfast dishes to sink. If he gets it done before the timer goes off he can play Webkinz on the computer for 30 minutes before school. That seems to work most mornings. His meds don't seem to kick in for 1 hr so the a.m. is WILD sometimes... Best of luck! Hope that helps!