Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group

I fell for you. it is hard to deal with these kids and when you have another child in the home who does not really understand why their sibling is like that it is very scary. they drain you emotionally and physically. and we do feel like a faliure and that we are just going to lose it, they are not predictable and that can make it hard too. behavioral therapy is good but it sounds like he needs other services, how often does he go to therapy? can they get it set up to where someone can come into the home and work with him too, also look into respite care so you can get a break from him and vise versa, make sure you have a good support system in place for you, ask the therapist ifthere are any programs that he can attend tha twould be of help. my daughter was in group therapy. make sure that you do things with the other child if at all possible alone, these poor kids can accidentlay be pushed aside because all of our energy is going on the child with issues,. we have two younger ones and they get very upset and scared when their sister goes off, wich makes us very mad at her and that can sometimes make the problem worse, so we have to be sure to handle it in a way that is going to difuse the issue and not make it worse, not always easy. the rules need to be firm and the consequences need to be set and carried out and you have to learn not to feed their fire with your emotions, for instance, when they are in rage talking will do no good, you need to wait until they are done, they love to argue so when they are in that mindset you have to learn to not argue with them,just say what needs to be said matter of factly and walk away., fi putting him in his room works the continue to do that, keep a journal everyday of what goes on, this is important not only for you but also allows the people treating him to see into your day. write down everything,times and dates and what he did tha tday. if he had an outburst.what may have caused it and how you handld it, even if you did not handle it right, what calmed him down, how long it took, everything. I really wish I had a easy solution for you, but never give up even though it is so easy to want to do, read up on the beviors as much as you can and learn how to parent him, get soem services if you can , ifthe therapist tells you there is nothing then sounds like you may need to find another one. a good therapist will do wha they can to help you in all areas, get on the internet and look in your areas for things that may help. that is how I found a place for my daughter to go to, she goes to horse therapy. on top of regular therapy and group,. good luck and I hope things get better for you,, hang in there.

Thanks for your reply Jilly. My son has been in behavioral therapy for about 6 months. We really have seen no change in him and he is starting to resent going to the sessions. I think that we may need a therapist that has more experience with these issues in children. I am going to look into other options. I am to the point where I need more help for him.

I really am good about keeping the situation in check and letting him fizzle without adding more fuel to the flames, but like you said, that can be so hard sometimes. Thanks again for listening, sometimes that is the thing that keeps me sane ;). ~Jennifer

It does aound like he needs another therapist. sometimes you have to go through a few before you find the right one. Have you read any books on this type of behaviors to get some ideas? like the explosive child by Ross Greene. it is very hard sometimes to stay calm,itseems like you stay consistent and work hard to make things work and then they don't so you just want to scream and throw the towel in, our daughter was 4 when she started having issues with her behavior, she is now 13. she was actually doing well for awhile and the therapy was working then she just took a nose dive, so as hard as it was for us we placed her in a treatment program in a really good place. more intense therapy and on going therapy. I could not have done it if she had been younger, it was hard to do it now, but we realized that we were at a time when we could no longer help her and the therapy was not working as well even though she has a good therapist, it was just a time for soemthing diferent, things were very bad at home and her behaviors were getting dangerous to herself and us. We miss her terrible and talk to her daily and stuff, but I really did not realize how much control she had over us until she was not here. some areas offer day places kindsa like a school for the child to go to and learn coping skills and how to deal with their behaviors, we do not have that around here, what we do have around here is not real good services for kids, te palce we found that was real good and her therapist recomeneded is 2 hours away. but they work with the kids and they do not drug them up and send them home, they work on figuring out the right meds and if they even need them and learning skills to deal with their issues, anyway I would look into another plce for your child, and see if you can get someplace that offers family therapy in the home to help all the family members learn ho to live with a child like this; good luck,

I am going to read "the explosive child", I have read 123 magic and the stong willed child along with a few others that were general. 123 magic helps in many ways.

You're right about needing more help. We have been through a few doctors and I keep wondering if we are not sticking it out long enough or if I expect too much. I just don't know sometimes... I think that we need someone to focus more on kids. We seem to only get our insurance to pay for doctors better suited for marital issues I think. I am at a loss on where to turn. We are rural and I am willing to drive for good help. Back to the internet I go :) I think that we are going to end up seeking inpatient care if our sons hurts himself anymore. I know that it must be hard, but sometimes they need something more intense than a session each week. I do believe in shaping ones behavior and coping skills; we will seek on. Let me just say again that it is so nice to know that someone is listening. Jen