Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group

Hi there

My son is 5 and I by far don't have all of the answers Lord knows I wish I was cause then I might be able to help him more. He was diagnosed intermitten explosive disorder, 2 types of ADHD, and ODD. But anywho what our psychiatrist has us doing (which I am seeing a few slow signs of it working and he's only on a mood stabilizer right now) is we are doing a 3 step process. Stage 1) as soon as they break a rule they need to you and sit criss cross on the floor head down (just for about 30 seconds) when done they stand up you get down eye to eye with her put your hands on her cheeks and ask her what she did wrong and if she can't tell you then you can tell her and then ask her to show her the correct way to do whatever it was she did wrong. stage 2) is a thinking time out a cornor or time out chair (doesn't necessarialy mean they can't move at all as long as they stay still pretty good for her, I know it's impossible for mine to be completely still so impractical to ask that of him) stage 3) take away a toy or privalige

you move up a stage if they refuse to comply with stage 1 you move to stage 2 and so on. In just 2 day I have me a nifty high bounce ball, a funny little mask, and he missed one day of his turn on the computer. I'll even take one of his toys while he's suppose to be going to the corner and fighting and say hey if you refuse to go to stage 2 then this here is mine and he will look and say hey mom is serious.

With the thing with your husband yelling there are a couple of things you might remind him of 1) you can not treat most ADHD children like most ordanary children and 2) I'd look at him and say he did you like it the last time the cops were here or should I call them myself. If he yells and screams at her when she acts up that could be where she has learned that it's ok from. I really regrat the time I spent with my kids biological because of the fighting( even though it was mostly over the way he treated them). Try to get him involved in the 3 stages and maybe he needs to look into some stress management techniques.

Sorry for such a long answer I hope this helps in some way. Try to stay consistant and even though she gets into trouble make sure she knows she is loved.

Jerra

we struggle with this kinda thing daily, so we now remind him when something makes him mad he needs to tell a grown up or go sit by himself. He is getting really good at removing himself but it is difficult to get everyone on the wagon.

I don't spank either because my son then thinks well when I get mad I can hit too.

I think my neighbors are getting used to the screaming my boys do, so we don't have a problem there but I do get "the look" in public

I struggle mightily with the same thing. My gs is only 3, but is really into the tantrums.

Yesterday I did something which really hit home. He was being very sassy and rude to someone and after they walked away instead of saying he was wrong in his behavior I simply said "you really hurt her feelings". My gs took a very visual double take and said "I did?" and then began asking where she was? WHere did she go? And I said why? He said where is she? I said do you want to find her to apologize? He said yes!!! So we caught her before she left and he very nicely apologized to her. He was much better behaved after that.

That incident got me to thinking. I am going to try a new strategy and was wondering if anyone has ever tried it. I am going, next time he starts a temper tantrum, to just hold him. Just hold him in a big hug until he begins to settle and then tell him he is hurting my feelings by screaming, kicking, whatever. And see what happens. Has anyone ever tried this approach?

My thinking is that I KNOW 1) that sometimes these tantrums can be caused by too much stimuli. For example, my gs has more tantrums in a store or restaurant than at home. 2) they can also be caused by changes in schedule, too little sleep, even changes in food.

Perhaps just by holding them securely and safely until the senses calm they will be able to process what it is that is trigerring the "attack". I am not saying that their "attacks" are like a seizure, but it has been proven that ADHD is caused by electrical impulses in the brain, and perhaps just holding them and making them feel secure until the misfiring passes will help??????

Anyone ever tried this? It's really a long shot, but in all honesty, I tried all the other with my son....lol.

grannyske
I do that, it can be very tough because until they understand they will FIGHT. I've been bit, head butted, etc. the most important thing if you use this approach is to remain calm and only say positive things (I say It's ok, let out all the anger, just let it out, and try to calm down)

hold up wait a minute.......withcrazykids? you said their is 2 type's of ADHD? someone start explaining here?

I think it was on the Doctor's TV show that they showed the 4 types of ADHD and the colors on a brain scan that each looks like. I am not sure where to go to have this scan done or even if it is out of the "test" stages yet but it made sense to me. One type of ADHD is the "typical" or "treatable" type that is basically "can't sit down, can't focus". With this type, ritilin and other stimilant based drugs work great. There is the "daydreaming" type of ADHD which I didn't pay too much attention to but I guess it is when someone just kind of zones out. There is the pure "attention" type without the hyperactivity and this one is also helped with med. Then there is the anxiety based ADHD, this one is much more difficult to understand they don't know as much about it as the other forms and meds are not as helpful. This one might be linked more to depression. Hope this helps.